


Midnight Belonged To Miracles

by MissKiraBlue



Series: Every Tomorrows [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Bars and Pubs, Blood and Violence, Coincidences, Consequences, Dark, Emotional Hurt, Episode 5, F/M, Family, Fate & Destiny, Fights, First Crush, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Groundhog Day AU, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hinata Shouyou & Tsukishima Kei Friendship, Hinata Shouyou & Yachi Hitoka Friendship, Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio Fight, Hurt/Comfort, Idea of Life, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by Before I Fall, Inspired by Groundhog Day, Justice, KageHina Fight, Kageyama lives the same day over and over again, Karasuno, Karasuno Family, Kitagawa Daiichi, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Morally Ambiguous Character, Murder, POV Kageyama Tobio, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Psychological Horror, Russian Doll AU, Season 2 Episode 5, Second Chances, Time Loop, Time Travel, With A Twist, before i fall au, inspired by Russian Doll, no beta we die like men, not with Kageyama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-03-07 15:44:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 47,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissKiraBlue/pseuds/MissKiraBlue
Summary: Part III of the 'Every Tomorrows' seriesKageyama.READ PART I ( DON'T MAKE ME WALK WHEN I WANT TO FLY) AND PART II (WORTHLESS PRIDE) TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING.





	1. 1 Hour Before Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii my adorable–evils!!! Part III IS HERE!!!
> 
> WARNING: ONLY 16 OR UP
> 
> WARNING: THIS IS THE DARKEST ARC
> 
> WARNING: READ THE WARNING. 
> 
> WARNING: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I HAD GOOSEBUMPS.
> 
>  
> 
> PS: love all of you. Can't wait for your reaction xddd.

**Part III**

 

 

 

**Midnight Belonged**

 

 

 

**To**

 

 

 

**Miracles**

 

 

 

 

 

**Chapter 1**

 

 

 

**1 Hour Before Midnight**

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama’s hands looked like as if it had been painted by an artist. An artist that believed in bright colors, who believed in mess and terror.

 

_I had to._

 

Kageyama was rocking back and forth in his chair.

 

_I had to._

 

He was shaking and couldn’t stop his whirling mind.

 

_I had to._

 

Hospitals were a lot messier at night than during the day. The lamp above Kageyama was blinking – sometimes brightening the whole waiting room, sometimes darkening it all at once. He knew how he looked like right now.

 

_I had to._

 

A lot more people was brought in than what he had imagined. There were a lot of accidents.

 

_I had to._

 

There was a lot of people at the entrance when the ambulance brought him in and the child.

 

_I had to._

 

Nurses and doctors rushed through the hall, most of them passing by usually took a peek at his hands.

 

Maybe, to all of them, he looked like someone who desperately tried to help someone and touched them in the process. That’s how he had his hands gotten painted by an artist.

 

_I_

 

_had_

 

_to._

 

The lamp above Kageyama was blinking – sometimes brightening the whole waiting room, sometimes darkening it all at once.

 

His hands showed their colors in the light.

 

 _Red_.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

**17 Hours Before Midnight**

 

 

 

 

Kageyama woke up to silence in the morning. As he opened his eyes, the familiar void started to fill up his bones. It happened every single day. Every single quiet day.

 

He stood up and looked at his jersey that was lying on the top of his chair.

 

_Number 2._

 

Kageyama didn’t know when he started to hate his own jersey. Maybe after Oikawa went away with Iwaizumi. Maybe after Kageyama realized what really was happening in the team.

 

Maybe after he saw people showing their true skin.

 

As he woke up, the usual lightness came back to his body. His hair was a mess – a couple of it blocked his view, got into his blue eyes.

 

He walked over to his window – his slow, gentle steps echoed in the room – and opened it, letting the fresh air caress his face.

 

It was a sunny day. He elbowed close to the windowsill and suddenly heard a loud music blast from the neighbor.

 

_Heavy metal._

 

Kageyama rolled his eyes and shut the window. He moved towards the bathroom and brushed his teeth, washed his face, took a piss, washed his hands.

 

_A routine with a companion called silence._

 

Kageyama hated it. He hated it – he was sure on his life that he will never hate something else more than this.

 

He went back to his room and dressed up, packed his stuff for the match – the last thing being the jersey. 

Kageyama touched it with his hands and dropped it into the sport bag, feeling disgusted. As he walked down the stairs he finally heard the first sound in this morning that came from his house and wasn’t caused by him.

 

_A pen moving, carving words on a paper._

 

As Kageyama got to the end of the stairs, he caught the sight of Jun. She was writing something. She wore a black pencil skirt with elegant shoes and white blouse with a grey stripped blazer. Kageyama always made sure to be aware of what she wore.

 

_Dark colored blazers – bad day._

 

_Light colored blazers – important business day._

 

_Stripped blazers – a very important day._

 

Kageyama swallowed and began to speak, “Good morning, Jun.”

 

Kageyama Jun looked up. Her blue gaze cautious, clever, stone cold. Her black hair was graciously made into a bun, resting close to her nape.

 

Kageyama was her spitting image.

 

“Tobio,” she said and then stopped for a while. “You’re up early.”

 

Kageyama narrowed his eyes, clenching his fist. “Not earlier than you.”

 

_Unfortunately._

 

Kageyama loved her once. He was her son after all. He was sure Jun loved him too. She was his mother after all.

 

Kageyama was also sure Jun still loved him, she was just cautious to not show it. Because he didn’t need that love – she lost it the moment she introduced _him_.

 

Kageyama felt nauseous immediately.

 

“I need to go, I have five clients to work with today,” Jun said, staring at him. Kageyama raised an eyebrow – Jun was the CEO, there was no use to work so hard every single day. She was only doing this much because she didn’t want to be near him, and in all honesty, neither did Kageyama.

 

“I have a match today,” Kageyama said, not looking away. “I might arrive late.”

 

Jun blinked and put her hands together. “That’s not good,” she said looking away, biting her bottom lip, seeming to concentrate. “That’s really not good.”

 

Kageyama bit back his words and instead he said, “Why?” He was already getting agitated.

 

Jun’s voice was filled with guilt. “I wanted to tell you tonight with Akihito,” Kageyama’s eyes twitched hearing _his_ name. “But I guess, there’s no other way, I have to tell you now,” she finally looked back at him. “We’re going to get married.”

 

Kageyama gave out a disgusted smile, not missing a beat.

 

“Of course you will,” he said quietly with venom. “I was curious when you’d drop this,” he started to shake his head, his eyes narrowed into mere slits. “I hope you make him happy, truly.”

 

Jun pressed her lips into a thin line. “He’s not bad, Tobio,” she whispered. “If you could just talk to him – _once_ , just once. If you could just give him a chance–”

 

“Then what?” Kageyama said through his teeth. “Do you think I’d love him as much I love dad? Don’t make me laugh.”

 

Jun shook her head and took a step towards him. “That’s not what I said, I’m not asking that of you.”

 

Kageyama was fifteen and he was still taller than her – he used his height to look down on her, feeling a little joy.

 

“I hate him, Jun,” Kageyama said quietly. “You know I hate him, you know how much I hate him and you still do this.”

 

Jun’s eyes started to tear up and Kageyama didn’t care. “But I love him, and if I love him he can’t be bad, Tobio.”

 

Kageyama raised an eyebrow. “You loved dad too,” he answered.

 

Jun’s eyes softened as she reached to touch his hand. “And I still love him and he loves me too,” she said gently. “Just not like that. Not anymore.”

 

Kageyama pulled his hand away. “I hate you,” Jun flinched and Kageyama didn’t care. “You remind me every day just how much I hate you.”

 

And without a word, Kageyama left Jun.

 

He didn’t care.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“A wedding, huh?” Kageyama Masashi sighed through the phone. “That must be rough for you, buddy.”

 

“Dad, who’s side you’re on?” Kageyama asked walking down the street. “This was not what I wanted to hear.”

 

His dad started to laugh making Kageyama smile. “I’m on Tachibana’s,” he said, still laughing. “That poor man, you are so cold to him, Tobio. Remember Shira’s party?” Shira, his dad’s sister. She was always throwing wild parties, living in Hong Kong. How could he forget? “You were glaring at him, scowling all the time.”

 

Kageyama clicked his tongue. “Don’t start.”

 

“Or else what?” His dad said back. “You come over here to Busan to kick my ass? You don’t have a plane, kiddo.”

 

_Always bragging about his own plane. Smooth, dad, very smooth._

 

Kageyama grinned, adjusting his phone close to his ears. “You’re lucky I don’t, old man. You would have a competition if I did,” he laughed. “The Sunday’s grill party is still on?”

 

“It sure is,” he said. Kageyama could hear his smile. “I can’t wait to see you, I hate working so much. I’m bored.”

 

Kageyama started nodding, not believing a word. “You have grandpa there. There’s no way you are bored.”

 

“He fired ten people today,” he said quietly. “And me. Twice.”

 

Kageyama was surprised. “Really?” he asked. “Just twice? That’s weird.”

 

“I know, right?” he said. “I’m literally waiting for him to explode in every minute. I wonder when he’ll realize he can’t fire me.”

 

“Yeah,” Kageyama kicked a little rock and slipped his hands into the pocket of his jacket. “He always forgets you’re the boss now and he retired years ago.”

 

“I think he knows. He just doesn’t care,” he answered. “You should have seen him today during the meeting. I will never forget Chang’s face. It’s burnt into my mind.”

 

Kageyama didn’t even hesitate. “He brought a chocolate cake and ate the whole thing.”

 

“He brought a chocolate cake and ate the whole thing.”

 

Kageyama chuckled when he heard his dad sigh. “Touché, same old grandpa.”

 

It went quiet for a minute. His dad destroyed the silence.

 

_He always did._

 

“Don’t be so hard on her, Tobio,” his dad began. “It’s okay to love someone else. I want her to be happy and I like Akihito. I mean, he has some bad jokes but he’s got nothing on grandpa. You would like him too, if you gave him a chance. Trust me on this.”

 

Kageyama was hesitating. “He’s not you,” he admitted quietly.

 

“He doesn’t have to be me, buddy,” his voice was gentle. “I know you’re afraid. This will change everything and – what if it turns out wrong? I know you’re asking these questions and I want you to know that it’s okay to be afraid.”

 

Kageyama took a deep breath. “It’s just – I hate her so much,” he said in a severe tone. “She never asked me if it’s okay, dad,” he let it out. “When you two divorced it really did a number on me. But I’m better now, I accepted it. That doesn’t mean I’m okay with another person joining–”

 

“And you don’t have to be,” his dad said carefully. “And if you say the same thing after you talked to him, gave him a chance, then I leave you alone and make sure she leaves you alone too, okay?”

 

Kageyama sighed because he knew there wasn’t any other way. “Okay,” he gave in. “Deal.”

 

“Alright, I gotta go. A situation is happening,” he said, Kageyama could hear shouting in the background. “Dad, you can’t punch him he’s taller than you and bigger too– oh my god,” something crashed.

 

Kageyama burst out laughing. “Okay,” he said. “Make sure to call Mr. Lim and tell me who won.”

 

_Probably grandpa._

 

“Thanks reminding me,” he said, someone started to scream in the background. “Have a good match, talk later.”

 

Kageyama smiled and ended the call.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

The truth is that Kageyama didn’t hate his team. Hate is a strong word.

 

 _Dislike_ was more fitting.

 

But he knew that this ‘ _dislike_ ’ thing was very much mutual.

 

He also knew Kindaichi was the one who probably hated him the most, Kunimi following him in the line. The line which was long and everyone seemed to want to get in. Kageyama was nowhere near stupid nor ignorant. He noticed that.

 

He just didn’t understand why.

 

He knew that sometimes he shouted, yes, he also knew that sometimes he might have taken things a _bit_ far. But everything he had done – everything he was doing – was for them. To reach nationals, to make them better, making sure to have the option going to nationals.

 

One day, they’ll thank him. He was sure about that.

 

But he knew there was something more to this ‘ _dislike_ ’ because no one wanted to talk to him. Sit next to him, walk next to him.

 

And nowadays, they didn’t even want to accept his advices, his tips about volleyball, during practice or even matches.

 

It started to get annoying which made him angrier, which made everything harder as it seemed.

 

He only wanted to play volleyball. Forget his problems, forget Jun and _him,_ and do what he wanted to do. He just wanted to relax with his favorite thing.

 

_But no._

 

He couldn’t even do that because some people just didn’t let him – didn’t want to cooperate and he had no idea why.

 

He didn’t expect much today either. This match will be the same as the others.

 

Until it wasn’t.

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He was looking at the three, as they ran away. He didn’t even know why he scared them off, why the scene pissed him off so much.

 

“I was going to tell them a thing or two myself, too,” Kageyama heard the boy’s voice.

 

He whirled around, looking hundred percent done. _He really didn’t have time for this shit._ “You’re not even physically ready. Don’t talk big,” he looked at him.

 

_Weak._

 

The first word that popped into Kageyama’s mind.

 

“What are you doing here, anyway?” He looked away for a moment. _He had good teammates, from what it looked like._ “Making memories?” He almost snorted.

 

_I’m just wasting my time._

 

“I came here to win. Nothing else.”

 

That annoying, powerful voice again.

 

_Why does it piss me off so much?_

 

He looked back and slowly walked towards him. “You make it sound easy,” Kageyama suddenly found himself intrigued.

 

The other boy looked down. Kageyama only saw his ginger, curly locks for a moment.

 

“Sure, I’m not tall. But,” Kageyama turned surprised as he looked up again. “I can jump.”

 

He furrowed his brows.

 

_This was not what he had expected._

 

“You can’t assume we’ll lose, as long as we don’t give up–”

 

_Don’t give up._

 

Kageyama had enough, his blood pressure went up in a single moment. “Don’t give up,” he echoed, turning around. “That’s not as easy as it sounds.”

 

The boy spoke again. Powerful voice.

 

“The six of us – the six of us can finally play volleyball on the court. The first game,” Kageyama looked over his shoulder, “the second game, we’ll win and and keep winning,” their eyes met. “We’re going to give it our all.”

 

_Give his all?_

 

Kageyama remembered his team. How they acted.

 

No one can give their all except him.

 

“The first game, second game,” he said, turning around, “the playoffs, the nationals,” he looked into the boy’s eyes as he promised. “I’m going to win them all.”

 

And for some reason, the other boy had the same intention in his eyes.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was so mad it wasn’t even funny. That boy – he had amazing abilities. His jump, his speed – everything was there what was needed.

 

_He just didn’t know how to use it._

 

And his own team was slacking off again – not doing anything, leaving him do all the work, not even trying to hit his tosses perfectly or close to perfect. And these guys didn’t have that boy’s speed or jumping power – they’re only, to simply put it, weren't enough.

 

_But who would be enough?_

 

“When will you guys get serious then?” He shouted, he wanted to punch him, he wanted to show him that the other boy was still better than them.

 

Kageyama could see how the boy was trying hard – he was trying so much more than his team.

 

And then that jump happened.

 

_That jump._

 

He was able to handle a toss like that – an almost impossible toss.

 

_High level of physical agility and reflexes. Finely tuned bodily control and his obsession with victory._

 

_He’s got it all._

 

Kageyama walked close to the net,

 

_But who would be enough?_

and asked,

 

“What were you doing for the last three years?”

 

_Why haven’t I seen you?_

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

The boy was crying in front of him which was one of the weirdest thing he had seen. But for some reason, he felt oddly special.

 

This day felt oddly special in a weird way. So he told him.

 

“If you want to be the last one standing, become strong,” he said and deep down he wanted him to be strong.

 

Deep down, Kageyama hoped.

 

_I hope I will see you once more._

 

Kageyama turned around and walked away from him. That’s when he gave out a little smile.

 

_Thank you for making this match different._

 

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama’s walk was quiet and the city was glowing. The night didn’t seem to be as dark with the lights.

 

The noise – the noise of the city, he liked that. Cars and people and music and sometimes nothing.

 

During his walk home, he noticed a stray cat. Kageyama’s eyes widened – the animal looked fluffy. He wanted to pet it.

 

The cat hissed and ran away the moment he took a step.

 

_Should’ve known._

 

Kageyama sighed and continued his walk. He noticed an old woman, trying to get across the street on the crosswalk. She looked pretty unstable.

 

He looked around. There were hundreds of people.

 

_No one moved._

 

Kageyama walked towards her and gently asked. “Do you want help with getting across, ma’am?”

 

The woman looked at him – her green eyes was so bright Kageyama almost wasn’t sure what he was seeing.

 

“What a kind, handsome, young man,” she said. Her voice cracked in the most gentle way as possible. “Thank you, I’d appreciate that.”

 

Kageyama nodded and offered his arm – she accepted it and when the lamp turned to green, they started walking.

 

“This is a unique day, young man,” she began, smiling. “A unique, special day.”

 

Kageyama sighed but tried to give her a smile. “It is for everyone it seems.”

 

They got to the other side of the street. She let go of him and bowed a little. Kageyama frowned – he should have done that first. He bowed back.

 

“Special day, indeed,” she said fondly. “See you later, Tobio.”

 

Kageyama froze.

 

He straightened his spine, but when he looked up the old lady was nowhere to be found.

 

As if she had just vanished.

 

As if she wasn’t even there.

 

Kageyama continued to walk. But he couldn’t shake off the bad feeling.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He heard a child’s scream.

 

He flinched – looking around – he knew no one lived in this street–

 

“ _Help, somebody h–!_ ”

 

The scream began again and Kageyama ran towards the voice as fast as he could. The closer he got to one of the alleyways, the quieter the scream got – he could only hear whimper and panting now which sent chills down to his spine, scaring him–

 

His blood ran cold.

 

The man was holding a knife, cutting the little child’s fingers–

 

Kageyama felt bile choke his throat–

 

“Hey,” his voice was shaking. The psychopath stopped cutting and slowly turned around–

 

Kageyama almost threw up.

 

There was something animalistic, something wrong in his eyes that made his skin crawl and his inside turn over–

 

“A witness,” the psychopath murmured. He sounded sane and it terrified Kageyama too much, too much–

 

He started to shake as the child – her mouth had a tape on it – found his eyes. She was crying, she looked like a ten year old.

 

Her eyes screamed.

 

_Help me._

 

Kageyama was frozen – his grip on his sport bag was iron hold.

 

“A witness, that’s not good,” and then the psychopath got up and turned around to walk

 

over

 

to

 

him.

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened, his adrenaline, his blood started to quicken, it pumped in his ears–

 

The child whimpered again and

 

Kageyama

 

looked

 

at

 

her.

 

_Help me._

 

Such a raw, real emotion.

 

_Help me._

 

And Kageyama looked back to the psychopath. The man had a nasty grin on his face, but his eyes followed his every little move, little wince or flinch.

 

The moment Kageyama run to get help, he will slit his throat.

 

_Someone might have heard the scream. They could be here at any moment._

 

But that would be too late.

 

Kageyama gripped his sport bag and narrowed his eyes, calmed down and cleared his head.

 

_I can’t die here._

 

The child began to sob.

 

_If I die here he takes her away._

 

The psychopath was waiting him to move – the knife in his hand was steady.

 

_I can’t die here._

 

Do it as if it was a match.

 

_I can’t die here._

 

And suddenly everything was clear.

 

_I need to win._

 

And Kageyama flinged his bag at him with a quick movement – the psychopath moved quickly, dodging it and then threw himself at Kageyama–

 

Kageyama leaned back – the knife almost ripped his chest open – and found himself on the ground.

 

The knife was above his head – he grabbed the psychopath’s forearm and his other hand as well – trying to stop every idea he could pull off, putting every strength into his hold. He gritted his teeth and pushed – the end of the knife was between his eyes, only a few inches above his skull.

 

His saliva flowed out of his mouth – he shouted and his arms were shaking. He kicked with his right leg and tried to move his body, tried to flipping them over–

 

The psychopath lost his balance and Kageyama flipped them over. He took the knife out of his hand and with his heart, beating like violence, he grabbed the psychopath’s throat to hold him down.

 

And

 

then–

 

The light caught something in the corner of his eyes –

 

_He_

 

_had_

 

_one_

 

_more_

 

_knife._

 

Kageyama grabbed the psychopath’s arm which held the knife – while he did that, his other hold on the psychopath’s throat began to loosen. His body was a shaking mess, he started to drain out–

 

_If he stands up I’m over._

 

And then Kageyama suddenly felt calm. His own blood sang like an endless lullaby, the whole world went quiet.

 

All he heard was silence as his strength lost his purpose.

 

Complete silence.

 

_I can’t_

 

_die_

 

_here._

 

And his hands were not shaking as he stabbed the knife into the psychopath’s skull.

 

The sound was the worst.

 

Or maybe the way he stopped moving while Kageyama quickly took the other knife and dropped it away.

 

Or when he looked down on his hands and finally realized what was on them.

 

Kageyama moved away from the corpse and vomited violently, struggling to empty everything.

 

After he did that three times – he looked back and noticed the little girl, her eyes was closed, she was breathing heavily.

 

Kageyama moved to get the other knife and he cut the ropes around her legs and hands, and removed the tape.

 

She couldn’t stop crying and moved close to Kageyama. He let her to hug him but felt disgusted

 

the moment

 

he felt another

 

human skin

 

against

 

his.

 

He needed to take her to a hospital.

 

Because no one had come here – even after hearing the scream minutes go.

 

No one came.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

**1 Hour Before Midnight**

 

 

 

 

Kageyama’s hands looked like as if it had been painted by an artist. An artist that believed in bright colors, who believed in mess and terror.

 

The lamp above Kageyama was blinking – sometimes brightening the whole waiting room, sometimes darkening it all at once.

 

His hands showed their colors in the light.

 

 _Red_.

 

He felt the bile again – threatening to rip him open – he buried his face into his hands, trying to hide, the blood on his hands had a disgusting smell–

 

“I told you we would meet again, Tobio.”

 

Kageyama looked up and saw the old lady. Her green eyes glowed and she had a quiet smile on her face.

 

Kageyama looked around and noticed that every people who had been moving and walking, stopped. As if the time was paused, as if it was frozen.

 

Only the blinking light changed – light and dark, light and dark.

 

Kageyama looked back at her and knew.

 

“Who are you?” He asked, his voice cracked.

 

She bowed. “You can call me Mitsuko,” she straightened her back. “Our life is somewhat similar.”

 

“It is?” Kageyama felt lightheaded.

 

Mitsuko nodded.

 

Only the blinking lamp changed – light and dark, light and dark.

 

“I killed a long time ago to protect someone, too” she said, her voice sent cold towards his bones, it made him flinch. Especially the word _killed_. “People like us get a punishment for this. It seems my job will be inherited to you.”

 

Kageyama felt chills. “Punishment? What kind of punishment?”

 

Mitsuko gave him a kind smile.

 

Only the blinking lamp changed – light and dark, dark and light. Brightening the waiting room and darkening the room in the hospital.

 

“I sometimes wonder who created these powers, you know,” Mitsuko whispered, her green eyes never leaving his blue. “Was it God? Was it the Devil? I will never know. The one who was the previous us didn’t know either. She’s long gone by now.”

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened. “I don’t understand–”

 

Mitsuko grabbed his hand and pressed her forehead against the back of it.

 

_The sign of utmost respect._

 

“You need to learn how to use it, Tobio,” Mitsuko whispered. “I give you thirteen days and after that it will be all yours and I can finally move on. It stays with you until you find someone else who can inherit it too.”

 

Kageyama’s breathing started to–

 

“Wait, what–”

 

And then for the last time, Mitsuko spoke, like a choir,

 

“If you once again reach midnight, you’ll be free of the time loop and your lesson has been learned.”

 

Only the blinking lamp changed – light and dark, light and dark.

 

And when it became light again,

 

both of them were gone.

 

 

 

 


	2. White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my adorable–evils!!! here's THE NEW CHAPTER AND IM LITERALLY SCREAMING
> 
> THIS PART IS SO-
> 
>  
> 
> NCSNCKJNJKDSNC
> 
>  
> 
> I JUST
> 
> I REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS 
> 
> PLAYLIST: https://play.soundsgood.co/playlist/every-tomorrows
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KUDOS, COMMENTS, BOOKMARKS AND HITS THEY ARE THE BEST THINGS EVER!!

**Chapter 2**

 

 

 

 

**White**

 

 

 

 

 

 

His eyes were closed. Kageyama was a killer.

 

_I had to._

 

His mind was scattered.

 

_I had to._

 

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, burying his face into his hands. His hands which were looking white as his skin – which had been painted by blood not long ago–

 

The silence was stretching – it was stretching out like an infinite song, played by a restless conductor. It was stretching and stretching and stretching and stretching and stretching–

 

_A witness._

 

Kageyama heard the psychopath’s voice close to his ears – he imagined the hands of the violent man as black, like paint, like tar.

 

_A witness._

 

Kageyama’s breathing turned uneven – the black hands were hugging him, in a warm embrace. They got to his throat and closed–

 

_A witness._

 

He felt it coming up, like a curse–

 

_A witness._

 

Kageyama opened his eyes, ran to the bathroom and emptied his stomach.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Jun.

 

Jun was looking at him as if this hadn't happened yesterday. This useless conversation, this useless day.

 

Only, the thing was, it hadn’t. This day hadn’t happened yet – Kageyama hadn’t killed yet–

 

But there was something else.

 

Jun.

 

Kageyama saw something circle around Jun, around her hands, around her tiny wrists–

 

It was glowing gold lines, like webs all around her fingers, dancing, curling towards her wrist up in her veins below her skin–

 

_It was mesmerizing._

 

Kageyama looked down only to see his own lines were white. Pure white, attached to his hands, coming up to his wrists and curling into his veins.

 

“Tobio,” she said and then stopped for a while. “You’re up early.”

 

Kageyama frowned. Why were his lines white? Has this always been there? How could he see all of this–

 

_“...You need to learn how to use it, Tobio...” Mitsuko whispered._

 

Kageyama’s mind cleared out all at once. Just when he decided to kill.

 

Just as calm.

 

Just

 

as

 

violent.

 

He looked back up to Jun – the golden lines were still circling around her wrists. “I need to go, I have five clients to work with today,” Jun said, staring at him.

 

“I have a match today,” Kageyama repeated, not looking away, just like yesterday. His voice did not waver. “I might arrive late.”

 

Jun blinked and put her hands together. Kageyama saw several golden lines converge into the other wrist and vice versa. “That’s not good,” she said looking away, biting her bottom lip, seeming to concentrate. “That’s really not good.”

 

Kageyama remembered his own hands. How slowly, how easily the knife moved to the skull.

 

_How relieved I was when he died._

 

Because he saved her and himself. Because he survived–

 

Kageyama looked down to his own white lines, circling through his hand.

 

And yet, these hands that ended a life so viciously–

 

_were_

 

_the_

 

_purest_

 

_white_

 

_he_

 

_had_

 

_ever_

 

_seen._

 

Kageyama was a killer. And he had the purest hands he had ever seen.

 

He walked out without a word and didn’t let Jun finish. After all, he heard everything

 

yesterday.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama didn’t flinch when he saw movement in the corner of his eyes. He slowed down to match her steps.

 

“Tobio,” Mitsuko’s voice sounded dear, kind. “You see them already, don’t you?”

 

Kageyama looked at her wrists. White lines were circling around her wrists, just like his. Mitsuko’s cane created an old rhyme, knocking on the ground. Like an old song, echoing forever.

 

“What are they, Mitsuko?” Kageyama asked, his voice cold. It felt someone different.

 

But Mitsuko never winced – her smile looked inviting, old and yet filled with wonder. Kageyama was filled with silence, his eyes blue and strong.

 

_Calm._

 

“The lines are the reflection of someone’s soul.”

 

Now then, Kageyama looked at her and Mitsuko looked back. They were opposites, old and young, calm and patient, cold and warmth.

 

Kageyama’s mind always been organized, quick to notice things, fast to put the two and two together.

 

_A genius._

 

“White,” Kageyama said. “Ours are white.”

 

_Killers._

 

Mitsuko’s smile vanished because she knew. “White means protector,” her voice was gentle. “The utmost protection.”

 

_Kill one to save the other._

 

Kageyama did not smile. “We are killers.”

 

Mitsuko said, “Killers have blue lines,” she stopped for a minute. “And they are not comfortable around the likes of you and me. Do not ever look at a blue one, you hear me?”

 

Kageyama looked ahead the street, noticing a lot of colors and shades on people’s wrists. He remembered Jun’s.

 

“What’s golden?” He asked, not looking at Mitsuko.

 

“Guilt,” she answered without missing a beat while Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat. Mitsuko continued. “But the rarest color is red.”

 

Kageyama looked at her. “Why? What does red mean?”

 

Mitsuko’s green eyes had something Kageyama never seen. Something he couldn’t put his finger on it.

 

“Red doesn’t have a definition,” Mitsuko’s voice felt like feathers. “Red has a feeling.”

 

Kageyama got quiet as he turned his head the other way. Only the sound of Mitsuko’s cane could be heard. Until he asked,

 

“What are we?”

 

And Mitsuko answered, her cane died into silence,

 

“Tell me by the end of this day because I can’t decide.”

 

Kageyama frowned, “Can’t decide? Decide what?” And when he didn’t hear an answer, he turned around to her direction.

 

Mitsuko was gone.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

The moment Kageyama stepped into the court– he saw the audience

 

swirling,

 

glowing

 

with thousands of colors, thousands of shades.

 

He could not breathe for a moment.

 

The moment felt infinite.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

A lot of his teammates had green over their wrists. None of them had gold.

 

_They are not sorry for what they’re doing to me._

 

They didn’t feel sorry, nor grateful. Kageyama hoped they would. He hoped he saw things wrong.

 

Turned out he was right. He was always right.

 

_You see too much, hear too much, you notice everything._

 

A genius.

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He had red.

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened.

 

_He had the rarest color in the world, circling around his wrist._

 

“I was going to tell them a thing or two myself, too,” Kageyama heard the boy’s voice.

 

And he remembered that he had been thinking that this boy was weak. With those jumps, with those power.

 

_He might be the strongest in the room after Kageyama._

 

“What’s your name?” Kageyama asked gently, mesmerized by the red glow. When the boy raised his hand, the red touched his amber eyes.

 

It glowed like fire and embers.

 

Kageyama had been looking at ugly greens, some bright purples and light yellows. But never this red.

 

Never this glowing red.

 

The boy looked taken back. “Why do you want to know?” He went all defensive.

 

Kageyama snorted. “Dumbass, that’s not how you should answer to this,” he said, waiting.

 

The boy’s ears turned red. “I mean – I know – but,” he sighed and then started over. “My name is Hinata Shouyou.”

 

_Hinata._

 

Kageyama had a weird feeling. He remembered his yesterday words.

 

_I hope I will see you once more._

 

“See you later, Hinata,” he said, turning back. “I know you know mine, so I don’t need to tell you.”

 

Hinata was not having it. “You smug asshole–”

 

It made Kageyama smile.

 

The first smile that day.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

They won again, but this time he didn’t ask Hinata where he had been. And yet, after the match had ended–

 

He was standing in front of him but he didn’t cry. Hinata tilted his head and Kageyama stopped.

 

He walked over to him with slow steps. Kageyama saw his glowing red lines, like little feathers.

 

_Bird feathers._

 

“You were silent through the whole match,” Hinata began.

 

_Yes I was._

 

This time, Kageyama did not shout at anyone. He was just doing his job. Kindaichi, Kunimi and the others looked surprised but other than that, they didn’t act differently towards him.

 

Their lines stayed green.

 

An ugly shade of green.

 

Kageyama enjoyed Hinata’s red. Enjoyed yellow and purple too. But there was something in this red – he had no idea what it was.

 

_“...Red doesn’t have a definition,” Mitsuko’s voice felt like feathers. “Red has a feeling...”_

 

“I was,” Kageyama answered.

 

Hinata slowly blinked. “Your teammates didn’t act differently.”

 

“They didn’t,” he answered again.

 

How interesting.

 

How interestingwas to see this scene unfold in another way.

 

“You didn’t look happy when you won,” Hinata continued, the red glowing up his amber eyes, making it gold.

 

Kageyama stopped breathing.

 

“We didn’t earn it,” he simply said, looking down. “You would have earned it more than anyone else.”

 

More than him.

 

_I’m just a killer with a punishment._

 

“What are you saying?” He heard Hinata say. A powerful voice.

 

It made Kageyama look up.

 

“I earn it when I’ll be strong enough,” he said, the anger in his voice was unmistakeable and yet it ignited Kageyama’s coldness. “And you’ll earn your joy when you realize how hard it is to win.”

 

And Kageyama

 

noticed.

 

Right then, right there.

 

As Hinata was staring at him, clenching his fists, looking up, yet Kageyama felt like the one who was shorter.

 

_Red._

 

_Passion, empathy, care, power and uplifting personality–_

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened.

 

_“...Red doesn’t have a definition,” Mitsuko’s voice felt like feathers. “Red has a feeling...”_

 

Hinata frowned. “What?” He asked, confused. He raised his wrist to adjust his hair. “Is something on my face?” the red lines circled around him, his cheek, creating a soft light around his hair, like a crown.

 

Kageyama froze.

 

Red meant humanity.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

As he was walking down the street more colors got into his way. They were glowing like the buildings, the skyscrapers, traffic lights.

 

Kageyama felt different.

 

A lot of people was staring at their shoes while walking, maybe looking at the building, shops, their phones, the cars, the people they were talking with.

 

Kageyama was staring at them.

 

He saw a lot of purple. Light purple was the most common alongside with yellow and black. When he stopped before the crosswalk, he noticed

 

two

 

blues.

 

One man and one woman, they were holding their little son’s hand, waiting for the green light.

 

Kageyama slowly turned his head over to the woman – his own white lines were glowing under his veins.

 

The woman was looking ahead, her blue lines were circling over her wrist. Her face looked as innocent as anyone else’s.

 

And then she turned to look at Kageyama.

 

Their eyes met.

 

It felt like everything slowed down.

 

People started to move – the light must have turned green. And yet the woman did not move nor look away.

 

In fact,

 

_She looked scared._

 

“Hey, what are you looking at–” someone touched his shoulders–

 

Kageyama turned to the husband’s direction and met his eyes. The man froze.

 

Kageyama felt his white lines warm his veins – like dangerous, toxic liquid–

 

_It wanted to protect._

 

Kageyama’s eyes darkened and the man in front of him paled, white as the wall. Kageyama wanted to see them pay–

 

_Killers._

 

Something cold filled his insides and his white, glowing lines were growing and growing up until it was circling around his head like a crown.

 

_The King._

 

Kageyama stretched his hand out and removed the man’s hand from his shoulder, finger by finger –

 

_Let’s see how much of a brave man you are._

 

“Tobio.”

 

Kageyama froze.

 

Mitsuko gently touched his hand and pulled him away. Her cane echoed, an old rhyme. It kept Kageyama sane, it brought him back from wherever he had been.

 

He opened his mouth to say something but he noticed that Mitsuko’s hands were shaking too.

 

Kageyama’s breath hitched in his throat. “You wanted to–”

 

_She feels the same._

 

“You and me,” Mitsuko says. “We need to keep distance from blues. Otherwise...”

 

Kageyama had a haunting thought. “Who stopped _you_?”

 

Mitsuko looked at him and then back at her own hands. White, pure lines.

 

_Like Heaven._

 

“No one.”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

They were sitting on a bench when the screaming finally stopped. The screaming of the little girl Kageyama had saved yesterday.

 

Kageyama’s heart was bleeding, his blood ran deep in his cuts, scattering his bones.

 

He was trying not to cry.

 

“Why did you make me stay?” Kageyama whimpers. “Why couldn’t we save her?”

 

Mitsuko’s eyes were dry and old. “She would have died like this if it weren’t for time loops,” she said. “Horrible death if it weren’t for time loops. But because we can live the same day again, you can save her. You can save her without killing him, too.”

 

Kageyama gave out a bitter laugh, his voice cracked. “What are you trying to say? That this is why we’re important? This is why time loops are important? I still killed him, I still did the worst I could have ever done–”

 

Mitsuko leaned close to him and intertwined their fingers. Their white lines converged.

 

“We are here for a reason,” Mitsuko said in a severe tone. “Creating time loops to save others, to make them see, to make a better life for them. There’s a reason why there’s always two of us or only one.”

 

Kageyama’s eyes darkened. “Who are we to play God, Mitsuko?”

 

Mitsuko’s eyes turned cold and all the hair stood up on Kageyama’s nape. He suddenly remembered her words.

 

_“...Tell me by the end of this day because I can’t decide...”_

 

Kageyama felt his power sing beneath his veins when Mitsuko looked up. Their white lines glowed like clouds above their head as she answered,

 

“We might be the closest thing to it.”

 

And Kageyama woke up.

 

 


	3. The King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii my adorable–evils!!! I'm here with a new chapter!! AND OMG I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS ONE.
> 
> PS: FINALLLY
> 
> PPS: This part will be dark. 
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> Thank your for all the kudos, comments and hits and bookmarks!! I LOVE THEM!!

**Chapter 3**

 

 

 

 

**The King**

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama felt his power sank deeper into his veins – it felt stronger today, he knew that the moment he woke up.

 

_Maybe that’s why he needs to have these thirteen days. His power needs thirteen days to adjust, to really nestle in his lungs._

 

Kageyama was staring at his white lines. They’ve gotten longer, they reached up to his elbows now. They were floating around his skin, his fingers as if gravity was not able to touch them. Sometimes when he closed his eyes, he could still remember his red hands. How he buried his face into that red paint – coloring his own face and black hair.

 

_Killer._

 

The most frightening thing about this was that Kageyama did not shake anymore.

 

_Killer._

 

The creepiest thing about this power that it did not make Kageyama feel guilty about killing _murderers._

 

Mitsuko warned him. She and he will always have an urge to kill blues. Their power did not like blues.

 

_Kageyama did not tolerate killers anymore either._

 

Something _sick_ started to grow

 

from the bottom

 

of

 

his

 

spine.

 

Kageyama still remembered how it felt like to stare at someone who had only one hope and that was him.

 

_And he saved her._

 

Kageyama wondered if he had turned insane.

 

Because he did not feel that shame, that deep disgusting shame anymore.

 

Kageyama wondered if he had turned insane.

 

The pure white lines glowed and Kageyama couldn’t look away.

 

_If I have to kill one_

 

_to save_

 

_the other–_

 

Kageyama couldn’t look away. He started to imagine blood on his hands. Blood from blues.

 

And _oh_ ,

 

did

 

he

 

feel

 

calm.

 

He wondered if he had turned insane.

 

Maybe he had.

 

_So be it._

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“You’re not doing the same thing,” Mitsuko stated as they walked down the street. Kageyama had not even looked at his mom when he came out of the house, he only felt this disgust whenever he saw green lines on someone’s wrist or gold.

 

_Hatred and guilt._

 

Kageyama looked over at Mitsuko. Her gray hair was in an elegant braid, her green eyes reminded him something about he wanted to ask.

 

“My eyes are starting to change,” Kageyama said not looking away. “It looks different, older.”

 

Mitsuko narrowed her eyes, she looked away. “That means the power finally began to accept its host.”

 

Kageyama still did not look away. He could see her hiding something. “You seem scared.”

 

Mitsuko looked back at him and stopped her cane. Kageyama stopped too.

 

Their white lines danced around the other.

 

Mitsuko then said something in a haunting voice. “I’ve never seen someone who accepted killing as fast as you did.”

 

It was Kageyama’s turn to narrow his eyes. He realized then.

 

_The power starts to accept the host if the host accepts being a killer._

 

Utmost protection.

 

“You gave me this power, Mitsuko,” Kageyama whispered. “You made me watch and _hear_ that kid die, you _let_ _me_ kill that psychopath to save that kid,” Kageyama saw her flinch. “You are no better than I am. We can be as kind and as human as one can be,” Kageyama’s voice turned cold and calm. “But we both know what we really are.”

 

Mitsuko’s green eyes narrowed to mere slits. She was just as frightening as Kageyama was. She walked closer to him and said, just as coldly,

 

“Only monsters can kill monsters.”

 

And it fell quiet.

 

People walked pass by them, birds were chirping and singing, the sun was high up in the sky, glowing everything up with light.

 

_It felt safe._

 

Kageyama slowly blinked.

 

_What a lie._

 

Kageyama and Mitsuko were the most frightening monsters, standing below the sun, surrounded by people who felt completely safe.

 

_What a lie._

 

Because Kageyama will take a walk soon.

 

He remembered a story Jun once read to him when he was younger. It was about a little boy who lived in a village filled with people who loved him. But when it was nighttime, everyone changed.

 

Love turned into hatred.

 

People started to become violent towards the little boy. They hurt him, they looked down on him, they never talked to him with care and kindness.

 

The little boy felt horrified.

 

Because once the sun was up – the people were kind again. They held the little boy’s hands, hugged him, told him he was everything.

 

Except now, the little boy knew it was all a lie.

 

The story had no particular meaning. According to Jun, it was only to show kids not to trust in strangers.

 

But for Kageyama, the story told something else.

 

The little boy never forgot how the others acted. In fact, he could see right through them. The little boy got used to it.

 

The little boy wasn’t afraid anymore.

 

Of course he wasn’t.

 

_How can you be afraid when you know you can’t be hurt anymore?_

 

He wasn’t scared anymore either.

 

Kageyama will take a walk soon.

 

See some blue lines.

 

And

 

do

 

what

 

needs

 

to

 

be

 

done.

 

Kageyama blinked and Mitsuko disappeared. The sound of her cane still echoed in his ears.

 

Just like a quiet lullaby.

 

_What a lie._

 

Nowhere is safe as long as he and Mitsuko are alive.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama saw so many purple and gold it started to hurt his eyes. And the greens – there were so much hatred in people he felt _disgusted_.

 

Blacks were different. Blacks were always quiet. People who had been hurt too many times, both physically and emotionally.

 

Yellows were difficult – too loud, naive, innocent. Most of them were children.

 

But that’s alright.

 

Kageyama didn’t come for them.

 

He was sitting in the park, close to a playground. Sitting on a bench, staring at people. He tried not to be too obvious – sometimes looked down at his hands. Long fingers, strong power, his white, pure lines.

 

Little children’s laughing filled the playground and the parents were talking with others, he could hear them too.

 

Kageyama raised his head and looked around. He started from right, turning slowly to the left.

 

_Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow._

 

He could’ve swore he had seen–

 

“Hello.”

 

Kageyama looked at the little person in front of him.

 

The little girl must have been seven or eight. She had blonde hair, she didn’t look Japanese but Kageyama didn’t hear accent either. Maybe she was half–Japanese or just grew up here.

 

Kageyama’s eyes automatically dropped to her wrists.

 

_Black._

 

His power started to glow beneath his arms, coloring his veins.

 

_It wanted to protect._

 

Kageyama wondered why the little girl came to him.

 

He decided to speak,

 

“Hello,” his voice was gentle. “Can I help you?”

 

The girl only stared at him. Kageyama tried to not look at her black lines.

 

_Who hurt you?_

 

His power screamed.

 

_Who dared?_

 

“My name is Kageyama Tobio,” he continued, smiling. He knew it was a successful smile because she looked more comfortable. “There, we aren’t strangers anymore.”

 

She nodded. “Annie,” she said but her eyes screamed.

 

_Help._

 

And Kageyama heard his power sing.

 

The kid always looked around her shoulders, waiting for someone or something. Annie looked self–aware too.

 

The only child who came to him and did not play.

 

Kageyama decided to trust his gut and slowly stretched out his hand.

 

_I wonder why you came to me._

 

Maybe children felt or sensed something from him. They were more sensitive than adults.

 

The girl stretched her hand out too, being hesitant but brave. Kageyama was never good with kids before, they never felt comfortable around him.

 

His white lines converged with her black ones and she flinched.

 

Kageyama froze.

 

The emotion he got – made his skin crawl, made his inside turn up, begging him to free himself from it.

 

_Abuse._

 

Annie, however, went closer to him and hugged him and Kageyama immediately hugged her back.

 

_Oh._

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened as he took a peek at her lines–

 

_He healed a part of her line._

 

It was half purple and half black currently. But why? Why–

 

Kageyama froze again.

 

_Because she feels safe._

 

Because blacks are mostly built up from fear. He knew it was true. He knew like he had known it since forever.

 

Annie started to cry, burying her face into his coat, since Kageyama was still sitting, and he let her.

 

“I’ve never felt–” she started but stopped, her heavy breathing broke Kageyama’s heart.

 

_She’s never felt safe._

 

Kageyama pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to control his own tears.

 

_How can someone hit their child? Raise a hand–_

 

His chest clenched with pain. He had to take a deep breath. “It’s okay,” Kageyama promised. “I won’t let them hurt you.”

 

“What are you doing to my daughter?”

 

It was as fast as a blink of an eye.

 

Kageyama was calm.

 

It felt like a shift. As if he just –

 

_snapped._

 

Kageyama raised his head and saw something spine chilling.

 

_Dark green lines._

 

Almost blue. The end of the lines were blue.

 

The little girl froze in his arms – Kageyama saw her line

 

blend

 

fully

 

black.

 

And Kageyama’s white lines grew high up to his head. The anger was cold, as cold as his calmness. And yet, he felt he can see everything, every little movement.

 

_A genius._

 

His eyes met the father’s. The man had a terrifying glare, he was taller than Kageyama, more muscular than him.

 

He should’ve been afraid. This man was a monster.

 

But Kageyama was a monster too.

 

A different kind of monster.

 

_The one you can’t run away from._

 

So he slowly stood up and walked close to the man. As he got closer, the father got paler and paler.

 

Maybe his monster recognized Kageyama’s.

 

Maybe his monster realized

 

Kageyama’s

 

was

 

so

 

much

 

worse.

 

His eyes were narrow as he started to speak. “You won’t harm her anymore,” he said quietly. “You won’t lay a finger on her.”

 

The man had enough nerve, enough bravery to snarl. “Mind your own business.”

 

Kageyama had enough.

 

The whole wold fell into silence, his lines were so high, they made a crown above his head. It touched the man’s dark green lines–

 

He looked horrified, too shocked to move.

 

It was simple. Kageyama was too pure for him.

 

_Too overwhelming._

 

“You can’t hide from me,” Kageyama whispered only for him to hear. “I know where to look.”

 

Kageyama did not care about him anymore – he turned around and knelt down in front of the little girl.

 

Annie instantly took his hand and Kageyama pressed a little kiss on her wrist, on her lines. The little gift of affection changed her lines to half purple and half black.

 

“He won’t hurt you anymore,” Kageyama promised. “He will treat you well.”

 

She brushed her thumb over his his hand. “How do you know?” she asked quietly.

 

Kageyama gave her a gentle smile, turned over to look at the man as he answered with a soft voice,

 

“Because I’ll hurt him first.”

 

The father took a step back, shaking, as if someone had stepped on his grave.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama noticed too much dark green, normal green on the street but when he had finally caught the sight of a blue one and his feet moved before he could’ve done anything.

 

It was a tall man.

 

Way too calm. He was walking in the rushing crowd.

 

Kageyama knew this one won’t be easy.

 

Kageyama followed him – the blue one walked somewhere very far. They’d been walking for hours now.

 

“You’re looking for trouble, Tobio,” Mitsuko’s cane sang next to Kageyama.

 

“Our job is to get rid of trouble, Mitsuko,” Kageyama said quietly, not looking at her. “You said no one stopped you. You must have killed at least hundred.”

 

“I killed more than that,” Mitsuko answered in a severe voice. “But there’s always more and more, they never vanish. You could spend a lifetime killing them and it’d still be more.”

 

Kageyama finally looked at her but did not stop walking.

 

“You can feel them too,” he said through his teeth. “They are disgusting, they are a disease, they hurt children, rape and murder innocents.”

 

Mitsuko’s cane quickened as she tried to keep up with Kageyama. “I know you think we are doing good with killing them, I did too–”

 

“Oh, I know we’re doing good,” Kageyama’s expression hardened. “Our lines can heal blacks, Mitsuko. Blues and greens are scared of us. Our power wants us to protect lives, make lives better.”

 

Mitsuko grabbed his wrist – their white lines connected. “This feeling will never go away but you can quiet it down if you just give time loops to certain people. I can teach you–”

 

Kageyama pulled his hand away, his eyes widened. “Do you think that’s better? Saving people, giving them another chance, making their lives better by giving them time loops? What if their day was hell? Try imagine living that again, and again, and again until they realize what do in order to get out–”

 

Mitsuko’s eyes were terrifying but held such a sorrow that it made Kageyama wince. “There’s no other options, Tobio. It’s either this or we kill until we end up insane, until we cannot move.”

 

Kageyama’s eyes darkened. “Then it’s a pity no one can judge us or stop us, Mitsuko,” he looked away.

 

“We are not judges.”

 

Kageyama whirled around to face her. “We are not Gods, we are not Devils, we are not Judges,” he counted on his fingers, looking at her. “Then what are we? Why are we here? Why does this power exist? Why can we use it? How should we use it if not for this – our power begs for it–”

 

“Our power is violent,” she said in a strong voice. “But we don’t have to suffocate in it.”

 

Kageyama imagined living a day where he needed to kill the psychopath again and again. Constantly, with no help.

 

_He felt sick._

 

Kageyama narrowed his eyes. “My work is cleaner than yours.”

 

Mitsuko gave in. She closed her eyes and stopped. “I hope you won’t grow as monstrous as I did.”

 

Kageyama’s heart weakened by that. He couldn’t help but feel empathy towards her. She was the only one who understood him, who knew his secret.

 

_His only friend._

 

And for the first time during their walk, Kageyama stopped.

 

His heart clenched again as he reached out and intertwined their fingers. Their white lines calmly danced through their fingers.

 

“I’m sorry you’re the one who I need to pass this on,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I can’t control who gets if after me.”

 

Kageyama didn’t let go of her hand.

 

“I’m sorry you need to be a monster.”

 

Kageyama felt tears stung his eyes – something human came back to him, made him breathe.

 

“I’m sorry you have to feel those horrid feelings.”

 

Kageyama held her hands as if he was too afraid to let go.

 

“I’m sorry you can’t be yourself anymore.”

 

And Kageyama couldn’t take it anymore. He was afraid that if he were about to start crying then he would never recover.

 

He let go of her hands and continued his walk towards the killer. It was night.

 

He could see his blue glow from miles away.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama saw him go into a convenience store. He put on a hat, he wore a mouth mask and brushed his hand over his jacket, as if he was checking something–

 

Kageyama’s blood ran cold.

 

_A gun._

 

Kageyama followed him inside the store. The little bell rang as he opened the door and got in. He closed the door and saw how the man walked through the store, checking the corners but never quite looking up.

 

Kageyama went to check the chocolates – the closest aisle to the cashier. That was when he noticed there was another person in the store.

 

_Weird._

 

Kageyama could’ve swore he had seen somewhere this guy. And he would never forget someone who looked like this. He had red hair – deep red, not Hinata’s red. He looked tired and he was in front of the deodorant’s aisle.

 

_Where have I seen him?_

 

Kageyama noticed the blue’s movement in the corner of his eyes. The man took long strides towards the cashier.

 

Kageyama moved as well–

 

The man drew out the gun and pointed at Kageyama’s forehead.

 

His heart quickened.

 

“I know you followed me,” he said through his mask. Kageyama heard the cashier’s scream, she grabbed her phone. The killer looked at her. “I wouldn’t do that.”

 

The blue’s hands did not shake.

 

While the killer was talking, asking money from the cashier, Kageyama noticed the red haired person, trying to sneak out of the store with a deodorant–

 

Kageyama’s jaw fell.

 

_This will–_

 

The red haired guy gave him thumbs up as he

 

put

 

the deodorant

 

over

 

the

 

door.

 

The alarm went crazy and Kageyama ducked down with pure reflex, just before the gun shot. His adrenaline rang in his ears like a song, bleeding him out, wanting to–

 

The red haired person sprayed the deodorant into the face of the killer. The man shouted in pain, touching his face with one hand.

 

The blue lines made Kageyama sick. He remembered the psychopath, vividly.

 

_A witness._

 

And Kageyama felt something in him

 

 _snap_.

 

He gripped the man’s throat and took the gun with a quick movement. He turned it over to the killer’s forehead.

 

The man stared at him with terror and Kageyama did not move, did not blink.

 

“What are you?” The man asked, struggling to breathe, coughing, his voice dying away.

 

Kageyama let go of his throat because he wanted to fire the gun.

 

“Calm down, man.”

 

Kageyama looked over to see the red haired person’s expression. He looked worried, scared but brave at the same time.

 

_He reminded him of that little girl._

 

Kageyama stared at his wrists, down at his lines.

 

They were bronze lines.

 

He was petrified.

 

_I’ve never seen bronze._

 

He suddenly heard sirens going off, the sound of the cars and people–

 

Four cops burst through the door, the little bell rang wildly.

 

“Everybody raise your hands!” they shouted, guns in their hands.

 

Everybody looked at Kageyama who was pointing a gun at a man. The red haired person turned panicked, Kageyama’s eyes widened too.

 

He dropped the gun.

 

“I didn’t–” Kageyama began but a cop walked over him and handcuffed him, saying something along the lines of remaining silent–

 

“Hey, wait a minute!” the red haired person started shouting. “I’ve seen everything, he’s totally innocent, catch the other guy!”

 

“Yes!” the cashier spoke up too. “The one with the hat!”

 

The police handcuffed him as well and they pushed both out of the store. The red haired person caught up with him. The blue and the red light from the sirens glowed his face up with colors. The bronze around his wrists glowed up during the night.

 

Kageyama was mesmerized again.

 

“I need to go with you because I was a witness, they’re getting the security camera’s recording right now,” he said, sighing. “Man, that was a nerve-wrecking. It's pure good luck, I'm telling you, that the police station isn’t far from here.”

 

Kageyama couldn’t even speak for a minute.

 

_Who the hell is this?_

 

He was almost pushed into the car, but before that, he shouted,

 

“What’s your name?”

 

The red haired smacked his forehead. “Shit, I knew I forgot something,” he shouted, grinning. “I’m Tendou Satori.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I AM SCREAMING


	4. Purple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii my adorable–evils!!! Here's the new chapter AND I'M ACTUALLY–
> 
> this MIGHT BE MY FAV IM–
> 
> Thank you for ALL THE KUDOS AND BOOKMARKS AND COMMENTS AND HITS THEY MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE.
> 
> PS: I fell in love with this part the moment I outlined this chapter half a year ago.
> 
> PS: I fell in love part 3

**Chapter 4**

 

 

 

 

**Purple**

 

 

 

 

Kageyama’s steps were rhythmical as two policemen walked behind him, escorting him inside the police station. The killer from the store walked behind them, with another two policemen. As Kageyama stepped in every cop stopped what they were doing.

 

That was when the screaming started.

 

Every head turned towards the cells where prisoners started to whimper, scream and curl up. Kageyama did not look at them, he moved his fingers, trying to ease his pain in the handcuffs. It ended up cracking his bones, the sound was loud in the silence.

 

The two cops pushed Kageyama and made their way towards the cells. He got closer, and closer,

 

and closer

 

to

 

the

 

blues.

 

“No, no,” one of the prisoner whispered, clutching the bars, looking into the eyes of the policeman. “Keep that thing away from me, don’t bring him in, don’t bring him in–”

 

The policeman frowned and then gave out a loud laugh. “Ya’ll really afraid of a teenager?”

 

The prisoner glanced at him. His blue line touched his eyes, it danced around his neck and lightened up his veins beneath the skin.

 

Kageyama smiled as they let him in.

 

It was as if he was the pest. All of them moved away from him, curling up in the crowd, shaking, touching their heads, hiding.

 

They were rapists, killers, sadist, abusers – all of them covering in fear because Kageyama was a more terrifying monster.

 

Kageyama heard the cell door close behind him. He turned around to see the killer who was in the store.

 

He was staring at him with wide eyes. Then, he looked down – all round to see grown up men covering in fear.

 

Kageyama’s smile was big.

 

_Go ahead. Hit me._

 

His smile was filled with joy.

 

_Then I’ll have a reason to kill everyone here._

 

The killer must have known what was going on in Kageyama’s head. His eyes widened as he took a hesitant step back, only to hit his back against the bars.

 

Kageyama tilted his head, innocently. As if he was weak.

 

_I’m not trapped inside here with you._

 

He narrowed his eyes.

 

_You’re trapped in here_

 

_with_

 

_me._

 

Kageyama looked down and started to walk in circles. He stepped on their feet, their hands, enjoying their cry. Whenever he got close to one of the blues, they screamed–

 

_Oh, I could get used to this._

 

“Who are you?”

 

Kageyama stopped walking as he heard a rapist’s voice. Everything fell to silence.

 

He turned back to look down at him.

 

_Disgusting._

 

He said in a low voice, just for him to hear, “I’m your salvation.”

 

He crunched down in front of him – the man tried to get away but Kageyama

 

caught

 

his

 

throat.

 

“Let him go!” A cop began to shout.

 

Kageyama’s eyes darkened as he let him go. The rapist was coughing, breathing heavily. Kageyama turned around to face the cop, looking like a saint.

 

“I’m scared,” he made sure that his voice was shaking. “He started to touch me and I wanted to make him stop.”

 

The cop believed it immediately. “I looked away for one time, I swear...”

 

_And these people are supposed to protect everyone._

 

Kageyama tilted his head, trying to remain calm.

 

_No wonder everyone goes insane._

 

Because cops didn’t have white lines like Kageyama had.

 

They

 

had

 

black.

 

Every one of them.

 

And then there was a loud crash. Kageyama turned into its direction. In fact, everyone did. Another loud crash, shouting and screaming–

 

“I’M TELLING YOU HE DIDN’T DO IT–”

 

Kageyama’s jaw fell down.

 

_That was Tendou._

 

“WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST WAIT WHERE WE TOLD YOU TO WAIT–”

 

_I have no idea who that is, but he sounds angry._

 

“YOU WATCHED THE RECORDING, DIDN’T YOU?” Tendou shouting again.

 

“WE DID YEAH–”

 

“THEN YOU’RE JUST WASTING OUR PRECIOUS TIME–”

 

“WHO THE FUCK IS SHOUTING?!” another voice had joined. He sounded an individual who was done with everything that had happened today.

 

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?” Tendou, yet again, going strong.

 

“WHAT THE– YOU ARE THE ONE IN THE RECORDING WHO TRIED TO STOLE A DEODORANT–”

 

“OH MY GOD–” another voice.

 

“I DID IT TO TRIGGER THE ALARM–”

 

“BULLSHIT!”

 

“FRED, CALM THE FUCK DOWN–” a woman voice joined.

 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BULLSHIT YOU LITTLE–” There goes Tendou again.

 

“OH MY GOD, JUST LET THEM GO FOR FUCK’S SAKE! THEY SAVED THAT WOMAN’S LIFE!”

 

Fred started to speak, “THIS PUNK STILL TRIED TO STEAL A DEODORANT!”

 

_Oh_

 

_my_

 

_god._

 

All hell was unleashed. Everyone started shouting at the same time.

 

“I DID IT TO TRIGGER THE ALARM–”

 

“HE DID NOT TRY TO STEAL–”

 

“DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE HIM?”

 

“ARE WE ACTUALLY DEALING WITH THIS SHIT, WE’VE GOT A CALL, IT MAY HAVE BEEN A BREAK IN, WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS–”

 

“HE TRIED TO STEAL A DEODORANT–”

 

“FUCKING HELL, YOU PEOPLE HAD ONE JOB AND YOU CAN’T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT–”

 

“YES TO TRIGGER THE ALARM–”

 

“WHY DOES IT MATTER IT’S JUST A DEODORANT–”

 

“FIRST IT WAS THAT CHICKEN BEING LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MALL, AND NOW THIS, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON TODAY?!”

 

“WHAT CHICKEN?”

 

“WHY ARE YA’LL SHOUTING?!”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“This was one of the best nights of my life,” Tendou grinned at him while they were walking down the street. “Can’t wait to tell this to my best friend.”

 

Kageyama found Tendou refreshing and weird in the best way as possible.

 

He was talkative, and confident, and loud. It reminded him of Hinata – although these two were as different as night and day. Hinata had something gentle in him and he had red lines, where Tendou had something dangerous and bold in him, while his lines were bronze. Kageyama had no idea what bronze could’ve meant but it didn’t made his skin crawl, so that only meant good. It suited Tendou as well.

 

Tendou, who happened to be in the store at the same time Kageyama was. Tendou, who didn't run away, after the killer had drawn out his gun. Tendou, who stayed with him, helped him by spraying the deodorant into the eyes of a killer. Tendou, who was shouting, defending him at the police station. Tendou a complete stranger.

 

Tendou, who was still walking next to him.

 

Kageyama felt as if he had been hit right on the chest, breath knocking out of him. It was a bittersweet pain because–

 

_So that’s how it feels like to walk next to someone._

 

No one had ever walked him home, walked next to him, helped him without wanting anything back.

 

_So that’s how it feels like to–_

 

Kageyama blinked and noticed that Tendou was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

 

But Kageyama had to say it because Tendou was a stranger and yet he had done more than anyone Kageyama had ever encountered.

 

“Thank you for everything today.”

 

Tendou’s eyes changed as his smile appeared on his face – it looked like happiness itself.

 

Kageyama had never met such an expression before. No one had ever smiled at him nowadays besides his father.

 

“Hey,” Tendou grinned and raised his hand to ask for a high five. “That’s what friends are for. And we surely are, after this night.”

 

He was staring at him, laughing as he gave him a high five with the most genuine smile he had ever had on his face. They continued their walk, laughing, talking as loudly as they could.

 

And Kageyama, for once in his life, forgot how it felt being lonely.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Shibuya at night was a sight. Kageyama had always been mesmerized by the colors of the city – now more than ever, for he was seeing more.

 

He was seeing so much more.

 

Tendou went away after they’d reached a place called ‘ _Mirai_ ’, said he was living near so they said their goodbyes. Kageyama even got his phone number but he believed in fate, so he wasn’t planning to call anytime soon.

 

_I’m sure we meet again._

 

At the right place, at the right time.

 

Kageyama’s wrath for blues seemed to change, as he had noticed, for some reason. The desire to kill was the same as ever, but his control seemed to be more steady. He had no idea why. He was only walking in the crowd, staring at colorful lines. He noticed something interesting.

 

Old people had yellow lines as well – like children did.

 

_Maybe because as people get older the more they become who they were at the beginning. Innocent, playful, daring to dream._

 

Kageyama found this thought unique, it made him smile a little. He also noticed that orange lines were as unique as greens but in another way.

 

Orange meant love.

 

People who loved someone or something with all of their hearts. Kageyama smiled whenever he saw two orange or half orange next to each other. He even noticed two girls with dark orange lines.

 

_The darker the color was, the deeper the love was._

 

Kageyama smiled gently when he saw them hug, holding at least ten shopping bags.

 

He remembered Tendou’s words out of nowhere.

 

_A friend._

 

He finally had a friend and Kageyama’s soul got _lighter._ In fact, he had to let out a deep breath and stop in the middle of the crosswalk.

 

He stopped in the walking crowd and raised his head, looking at the skyscrapers.

 

_The first time._

 

_It was the first time when he felt grateful for being able to see souls in a crowd full of strangers._

 

That was when he heard it. A deep, soulful voice, singing.

 

Kageyama turned his head and saw a man on the other side, sitting on a stool close to the park, playing an electronic guitar with a little PA system that made everything louder.

 

_He was the only one with purple lines and all of the people around him had black lines._

 

Kageyama was drawn to it without realizing. He made his way towards the crowd and then stopped when he got close enough.

 

The man – well, boy, he looked rather young – had pink hair, his electronic guitar was red. He looked the calmest person Kageyama had ever seen, the way he was sitting on that stool screamed indifference.

 

But then he began to play the next song, his fingers dancing around the strings, making music and Kageyama stopper breathing.

 

The moment the music began the crowd around them changed.

 

Their black lines changed into orange – it was now half black and half orange, half purple.

 

Kageyama realized. He was healing them with his music, with his voice.

 

“ _I was told a million times of all the troubles in my way_ ,” the boy started to sing, his voice resonating, holding power, “ _tried to grow a little wiser, little better every day_.”

 

His voice felt like his soul. Purple.

 

_Longing for something more._

 

This boy was longing for helping – helping people through his music. And Kageyama just couldn’t even move.

 

He was completely petrified.

 

“ _But if I crossed a million rivers and I rode a million miles, then I’d still be where I started_ ,” the boy started nodding his head along with the music, playing without making a mistake. “ _Bread and butter for a smile. Well I sold a million mirrors in a shop in Alley Way, but I never saw my face in any window any day_.”

 

Kageyama looked around, seeing people move their head up and down, tap their feet, record with their phones, mouthing the lyrics, the song was popular after all.

 

“ _Well they say your folks are telling you to be a superstar. But I tell you just to be satisfied, to stay right where you are,_ ” the boy raised his head with a big grin, still playing. “You know guys what’s coming–”

 

The people shouted with a joyful smile and the black in their lines

 

_vanished._

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened, seeing the orange glow up and then the boy started to sing again into the microphone.

 

“ _Keep yourself alive, keep yourself alive_ ,” he pointed at the crowd with a cheeky grin.

 

“ _It’ll take you all your time and a money, honey you’ll survive,_ ” the crowd sang.

 

More people gathered around them – their lines were changing into orange and purple, vanishing the black like nothing.

 

As if it hadn’t been there in the first place.

 

“ _Well I’ve loved a million women in a belladonnic haze, and I ate a million dinners brought to me on silver trays_ ,” the boy’s purple line danced through his fingers, moving along the rhythm of the song. “ _Give me everything I need to feed my body and my soul, and I’ll grow a little bigger, maybe that can be my goal._ ”

 

No one had black in their lines anymore. Purple and yellow and orange and–

 

They were as colorful as the city was.

 

“ _I was told a million times of all the people in my way, how I had to keep on trying and get better every day_ ,” Kageyama saw him smile again. “ _But if I crossed a million rivers and I rode a million miles, then I’d still be where I started, same as when I started,”_ he pointed at the crowd.

 

“ _Keep yourself alive, keep yourself alive_ ,” everyone sang, leaving Kageyama breathless standing in the middle of colorful souls.

 

“ _It’ll take you all your time and a money, honey you’ll survive,_ ” the crowd continued singing.

 

The boy stood up with a quick movement, the stool fell down as he started to play on his guitar shamelessly quick – the melody was so free and so joyful that

 

all

 

lines

 

turned purple.

 

People began to dance – dropping their bags, pulling their friends and their loved ones. They began to whistle and clap and their smile was so beautiful, so breathtaking, Kageyama felt like nothing mattered anymore.

 

He thought as long as someone out there made sure to vanish black lines without knowing,

 

As long as someone helped people to get through their pain,

 

As long as someone shouted with all of their heart,

 

As long as someone cared enough to make change–

 

_The world was a good place and it was worth living in it to see it._

 

“ _Keep yourself alive, keep yourself alive_ ,” everyone sang, their voice raising up the whole street. “ _It’ll take you all your time and a money to keep me satisfied.”_

 

And then Kageyama realized.

 

“ _Keep yourself alive, keep yourself alive,_ ” he saw a man twirl around his little daughter, two friends clapping and throwing money into the boy’s guitar case, older people smiling gently, a pair dancing, people hugging the other while nodding their head. “ _Keep yourself alive, keep yourself alive,_ ” the boy pointed at the crowd.

 

Just like that, he realized.

 

“ _All you people keep yourself alive_ ,” they sang as loudly as they could. “ _Keep yourself alive, keep yourself alive,_ _it’ll take you all your time and a money, honey you’ll survive._ ”

 

He remembered Mitsuko’s words, clear as day.

 

_“...Our power is violent, but we don’t have to suffocate in it...”_

 

As Kageyama looked around, hearing the sound of people’s singing together, glowing with different colors, different shades of colors–

 

_This world has violent, disgusting things but you can only make a difference if you do something light and good. Bringing help by showing something better, something more than what the world has to offer._

 

Kageyama’s white lines shone beneath his skin – like veins, he was glowing, the lines around his wrists danced around his fingers.

 

It felt as if he had seen the world for the first time.

 

“ _All you people keep yourself alive_ , _keep yourself alive, keep yourself alive,_ _it’ll take you all your time and a money, honey you’ll survive._ ”

 

And yes.

 

Maybe he had.

 

After the song was over, people hugged the boy, threw money into the guitar case, shook his hand, took pictures of him and thanked him with a big smile.

 

 _No one’s soul turned back into black_.

 

Not today at least.

 

This boy had saved at least ten lives today and Kageyama felt such an enormous respect towards him.

 

He moved before he knew it and threw all of his money into the guitar case. The boy turned surprised – his eyes widened, his jaw fell.

 

Kageyama almost laughed, he lookedexactly like that when he met Tendou.

 

“I will come tomorrow as well,” Kageyama pointed at him with frustration because he remembered he was in a time loop. “What’s your name?”

 

The guy looked shocked. “My name is Seung,” he stretched out his hand but Kageyama did not take it

 

he

 

bowed.

 

“My name is Kageyama Tobio but,” _it doesn’t matter he’s gonna forget it tomorrow anyway._ “I just want to say that you’re the best,” he straightened his back. “Never change,” he pointed at him again, still frustrated. He might look angry now, that would explain why Seung was looking so scared yet intrigued at the same time. “You hear me? I’ll be here tomorrow as well.”

 

Seung was still shocked. “I mean of course, but all that money, are you sure – I mean thank you, you’re kind but,” he pointed at the guitar case and then at Kageyama. “But why?”

 

_Because you are the reason I want to do better._

 

Kageyama didn’t even hesitate. “You made my day,” he said simply but his voice was filled with quiet gratitude. “Actually, you made my whole year.”

 

Seung still looked shocked so Kageyama had no idea why he did what he did.

 

Maybe because this day was a roller coaster.

 

Maybe because he felt grateful that he met this person.

 

Maybe because he wanted to change.

 

Maybe because he had been standing in the middle of twenty colorful souls and he will never forget that.

 

Maybe because today was the first time he actually made a friend.

 

Maybe because Kageyama, for the first time in his life, noticed how beautiful life can be.

 

Kageyama huggedhim and Seung started laughing so hard they almost fell down.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama stayed for a while, sitting on a bench, watching as Seung performed for more people, healing everyone one by one.

 

It made him smile. A quiet, gentle smile.

 

“You’re special, Tobio,” Mitsuko sat down next to him, putting her cane onto her lap. “You did something I’ve never seen anyone do so quickly, so easily.”

 

Kageyama’s smile never vanished, he turned to look at Mitsuko. Her green eyes glowed but he only saw light in them.

 

_Maybe because he was looking for it._

 

Maybe because Kageyama finally started to search for something that was made of good.

 

“What did I do?” He asked quietly staring at the light that glowed up Mitsuko’s silhouette. Purple, yellow and orange.

 

She looked back at him, her eyes softened.

 

“You started to believe that even if life has awful things, at the end of the day, it’s worth it.”

 

And Kageyama – hearing the music of Seung, staring at the colors behind Mitsuko –, could feel his soul turn whole again.

 

_As if everything fell into place._

 

“What was the color of my lines before I got my power?” Kageyama asked gently.

 

Mitsuko took his hands into hers, raised them bit and leaned her forehead on the back of his.

 

“You were the brightest purple I’ve ever seen.”

 

And Kageyama forgot to breathe.

 

_As if everything fell into place._

 

Because Kageyama had been longing for something more. Something like this.

 

Something that made him feel alive.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seung's performance: Queen - Keep Yourself Alive
> 
> PS: I AM IN LOVE
> 
> PSS: TENDOU IS STILL EVERYTHING I SWEAR


	5. Orange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HII my adorable–evils!! I BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING HUH?!!! Here's the new chapter!!
> 
> THANK YOU FOR THE KUDOS, BOOKMARKS, COMMENTS AND HITS THEY ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, YOU ARE, ALL OF YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!
> 
> PS: I cried. The second time I really cried during this story. The first was during Hinata and Kags dialogue in part 1 chapter 4.
> 
> PS: This chapter feels different and I had chills

**Chapter 5**

 

 

 

 

 

**Orange**

 

 

 

 

 

There was something new in him, something he hadn’t had before all of this.As Kageyama woke up to silence in his own bed, he quickly realized something had changed.

 

He didn’t hate silence anymore.

 

He didn’t move for awhile, he was just lying on his bed, taking little, soft breaths. He slowly blinked, feeling his eyelashes touch his skin each time. The silence was comforting, familiar, calm.

 

Kageyama gently, still lying down, raised his hands as if he was trying to grab onto the ceiling.

 

His lines were glowing white, swirling and dancing around his wrists.

 

_Savior. Protector._

 

Kageyama’s eyes softened.

 

_Savior. Protector._

 

Someone who wished to do better. Someone who was trying to do better.

 

Kageyama brought his hand to his other arm and brushed his fingertips along his skin, moving the white lines. They bent and started to wave, like hundreds of little lights. Kageyama hesitantly took a couple of lines into the palm of his hand.

 

The lines touched his skin and moved beneath it, flying through, glowing up his veins.

 

He stopped breathing and couldn’t move for a minute. Then, he began again, catching some of his lines, seeing their glow, admiring his soul.

 

_I want to heal with these hands._

 

Kageyama brought his arms to his chest and laid his chin on them, closing his eyes, making a promise.

 

_I want to do something more than what the world has to offer._

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was staring at Jun.

 

_A pen moving, carving words on a paper._

 

She wore a black pencil skirt with elegant shoes and white blouse with a grey stripped blazer. Kageyama always made sure to be aware of what she wore.

 

_Dark colored blazers – bad day._

 

_Light colored blazers – important business day._

 

_Stripped blazers – a very important day._

 

Why was that so important for him?

 

_Why do I pay attention to these little, meaningless details?_

 

“Tobio,” she said after she had noticed him and then stopped writing for a while. “You’re up early.”

 

Kageyama saw her golden lines dance around her wrist up to her forearms and he couldn’t stop himself. Maybe because of Seung – because Kageyama saw him pushing his limits just to do better, just to help other people.

 

Kageyama had no idea what had gotten into him when he asked this:

 

“Jun, how are you?” Her eyes widened but that only encouraged Kageyama more. “Really, how are you?”

 

Jun looked so shocked – her golden lines circled around her black hair, touching her eyes, making it glow.

 

_Guilt._

 

She did feel bad. But then again, she never said anything about it.

 

Kageyama stopped.

 

Or maybe she did.

 

_I just did not care._

 

Did he care now? How should he know that? Whether he cared or not?

 

“Why are you asking me this? Are _you_ okay?” Jun asked him and Kageyama froze. It was his time to be shocked.

 

_When was the last time they talked about how they were?_

 

When?

 

_And what should I answer? How am I?_

 

Better?

 

_But then again I–_

 

Killed.

 

Kageyama suddenly couldn’t look into her eyes, he dropped his gaze. He felt himself fall, back again where he had started, from zero.

 

For Jun, it wouldn’t matter whether he killed a good man or not. Only one thing would matter.

 

_He killed._

 

But why would Kageyama care what Jun thought? 

 

 _Who are you kidding, Tobio?_ He thought.

 

He would care. He would care because–

 

_Because she’s still your mom._

 

Kageyama still couldn’t look at her. How funny. The first time he didn’t look at her was because he thought she was the worst.

 

How funny.

 

_Jun had nothing on me._

 

“Tobio, is there something wrong?” Jun was in front of him in an instant and Kageyama felt her gentle hand on his cheek. The moment her skin touched his, Kageyama caught the color of her lines–

 

_Orange._

 

Kageyama finally raised his head and looked at her.

 

Jun’s lines were swimming to him, circling around him like a hurricane – the orange color burnt like the dawn on the sky vanishing the gold as if it was nothing. Her lines filled the whole room, it got into Jun’s hair, it glowed up their identical blue eyes.

 

_Her love painted up the whole house._

 

Jun loved Kageyama that much, Jun loved him that much, Jun–

 

_“...I hate you, you remind me every day just how much I hate you...”_

 

Kageyama took a step back, pulling away from her hold because–

 

Jun’s eyes widened – the moment Kageyama stepped back her lines shrunk back to her wrists, turning gold.

 

He took another step back, shaking his head because–

 

_She loves me that much._

 

And Kageyama told her–

 

_I hate you._

 

He told her–

 

_I hate you._

 

Every single day.

 

And yet,

 

Jun’s love was one of the darkest oranges Kageyama had ever seen.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama didn’t know why he had ended up here. People say when you feel lonely you should go somewhere where you feel you’ll be heard.

 

Kageyama had no idea how he ended up sitting on a bench in a church.

 

Maybe he really was trying to find out whether there was someone out there who would actually answer to him.

 

_There should be._

 

Kageyama looked out of one of the stained glasses. Seeing its colors – red, blue, green and yellow. The sun was shining through it, creating a rainbow that pleased his eyes.

 

_There should be someone out there who guides him._

 

And maybe there was.

 

_It was just that Kageyama needed to sort out this by himself._

 

Why did he run anyway?

 

Kageyama frowned.

 

_Why indeed._

 

“You look rather young to be here.”

 

Kageyama turned around to see a man sitting behind him. He looked a bit dangerous for an adult – Kageyama noticed a lot of tattoos on his arms, and hands. His purple lines were glowing, just as beautifully as the glasses did in this church. Hundreds of candles lightened up the room, helping the sun shine its way through.

 

_Yet none of them were as bright as this man’s purple lines._

 

He looked like a lost stranger. But then again, who wouldn’t be in a place like this?

 

Kageyama, out of nowhere, remembered Mitsuko’s words.

 

_“... You were the brightest purple I’ve ever seen...”_

 

This man reminded him of himself, for some reason. And before he knew, Kageyama began to talk.

 

“I guess I just want to believe that I have a place in this world,” Kageyama noticed his voice. How it changed. He didn’t sound like as his usual self.

 

_I did not sound like how I did before._

 

The child he was had vanished, but Kageyama wasn’t an adult either.

 

He simply was

 

_more._

 

The man raised an eyebrow, staying quiet. Kageyama had an idea why.

 

_No one would expect a fifteen year old to say this. Hell, no one would expect a fifteen year old to be here in the first place._

 

There was something unique in this scenario, Kageyama had to admit. Because there was no one else in here besides the two of them.

 

“You look like a good kid,” the man continued, sounding intrigued. “What are you doing here, really?”

 

Kageyama saw his purple lines rush around his frame – making a halo.

 

_Like an angel._

 

Maybe there was a God out there. Helping him with these methods. Not sending signs, not sending miracles, not exactly.

 

_But by sending people, at the right place, at the right time._

 

Kageyama took a deep breath and said, “I thought I hated my mom,” he said quietly. “But I’m not so sure anymore.”

 

The man raised an eyebrow – Kageyama noticed he had piercings as well. “Why? What did she do?” He asked patiently.

 

Kageyama let out a deep breath, leaning his head on the top of the bench, closing his eyes.

 

“She didn’t do anything, not intentionally at least,” he sighed. “I thought she hated me. I told her I hated her, every day.”

 

The man hummed. “And it’s true?”

 

Kageyama opened his eyes and looked at him. “What?”

 

The man shrugged, looking at him. “Do you hate her?” He asked. “Like really, really hate her?”

 

Kageyama surprised himself because he didn’t even hesitate to give the answer.

 

“No.”

 

It felt like the world

 

had finally

 

shattered

 

on

 

his

 

shoulders.

 

As if he could finally breathe again, as if he could finally move again without dragging himself, without drowning constantly.

 

“That’s good to hear, kid,” the man said, smiling at him. “I can’t talk to my mom anymore and I wish I could. I wish it with everything I have.”

 

Kageyama’s chest ached, his hands began to shake a little because–

 

_This time he did not heal anyone._

 

This time–

 

_Someone else healed him._

 

“Why are you here?” Kageyama found himself asking, looking around. “No one’s here, it’s still pretty early,” he looked back at him with a soft gaze. “Then what are _you_ doing here?”

 

The man grinned, showing his teeth – showing joy as if it was nothing, as if it was the easiest thing to do.

 

It made Kageyama smile as well.

 

“I’m here almost everyday,” he said, still grinning. “But when I’m here I always come around this hour.”

 

Kageyama frowned. “But why?”

 

And then the sun shone on the man’s neck, brightening his skin and a tattoo Kageyama hadn’t noticed up until now. He could see both side of the man’s neck.

 

_Lord let them see you in me._

 

_Lord let me see you in them._

 

Then the man’s spoke, his voice rang like a choir, sending chills down Kageyama’s spine,

 

“I guess I just want to believe that I can run into people like you.”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

After throwing all the money he had in his wallet into Seung’s guitar case, Kageyama sat down on the same bench he had sat yesterday. The cold wind grazed his skin, caressed his hair. The light of the city glowed with souls.

 

Kageyama thought how special this was. Being able to see this.

 

_It’s like another chance._

 

As if he had been reborn.

 

“You’re quiet today,” Mitsuko appeared next to him on the bend, sitting with her cane in her hand. “I heard you went to church,” she grinned.

 

“Stalking me, huh?” Kageyama smiled too. “Don’t you dare laugh, you old grandma.”

 

But oh she did and Kageyama failed his own mission by laughing too. He leaned forwards and elbowed on his knees, putting his hands together, looking down at them.

 

Mitsuko put her hand on his shoulder, the touch felt warm and caring.

 

“You feel different, Tobio,” her voice was kind and it made him close his eyes.

 

“Different how?” He asked, not opening his eyes, not looking into her direction. “What am I, enlighten me, because I don’t know.”

 

There was silence and it did not hurt Kageyama’s ears.

 

In fact,

 

Kageyama had forgotten how it felt being in silence, how it felt seeing nothing at all.

 

And then Mitsuko said,

 

“You feel like someone who could walk this world alone without feeling any fear.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lines/Souls:
> 
> White - Time Loop Users 
> 
> Gold - Guilt, sadness
> 
> Green - Hatred, envy, greed
> 
> Yellow - innocence, joy (mostly kids and old people)
> 
> Black - people with mental health issues
> 
> Blue - Killers, people who are violent or thinking about killing 
> 
> Purple - someone who is longing for something more (hope, a better life, a thing, a better chance, love) this thing is never about people
> 
> Bronze - people who are time sensitive (remember things from time loop etc Tendou, Makki)
> 
> Red - humanity (rare)
> 
> Orange - Love (any kind of love)
> 
> there's one more color that will be revealed later


	6. Grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words. I have no idea how I did it but this is my all time fav chapter ever.
> 
> There's no way I can top this.
> 
> PS: I am in love, yet again

**Chapter 6**

 

 

 

 

**Grey**

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama woke up to silence yet he couldn’t stop the echo of Mitsuko’s words out of his mind.

 

_“...You feel like someone who could walk this world alone without feeling any fear...”_

 

Kageyama started blinking softly and raised his hands again – staring at his white, glowing lines.

 

Alone in the world. The only one who could see the essence of people besides her. The only one who would after these thirteen days were over.

 

_The only one who saw colors in the monotone world._

 

Kageyama noticed his lines getting longer the more he stared at them. Maybe it was because they wanted to show him how much he had grown.

 

Or

 

They wanted to show him how much he could grow.

 

Kageyama closed his eyes and saw hundreds of colors. Like cities, like souls.

 

_“...You feel like someone who could walk this world alone without feeling any fear...”_

 

He opened his eyes.

 

_Maybe I could._

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama knew he looked exactly like Jun.

 

Same hair, same eyes, same confidence, same temper.

 

He knew because he made sure to know what she wore every single day. He didn’t know before why, but now, It felt as if his eyes had been removed and then he got new ones. Ones which he could see with, ones which helped him to see.

 

He made sure to know what she wore because–

 

_I wanted to forget how similar we are._

 

Kageyama wanted to concentrate on things she – and only she – could have, could wear.

 

_I didn’t want to see the things that screamed we were a family._

 

Kageyama closed his eyes in defeat, feeling all the stress leave his body. He remembered what the stranger had said in the church yesterday. His words rang in his mind, almost as loud as Mitsuko’s did earlier.

 

_“...That’s good to hear, kid,” the man said, smiling at him. “I can’t talk to my mom anymore and I wish I could. I wish it with everything I have...”_

 

If Jun died, what would he do?

 

Kageyama felt his blood ran cold.

 

If Jun died, what would he do?

 

He could still live with his dad, he could still have a safe, affectionate environment–

 

_You can’t say it–_

 

He could still have a good life–

 

_You can’t say it–_

 

He could still–

 

_You would live with regret until you died._

 

Kageyama opened his eyes and saw his lines.

 

_His soul_

 

reaching out

 

to

 

Jun.

 

And before he knew it, he closed his eyes and spoke, his voice like a whisper in the silence.

 

“Do you think I hate you?” he was afraid of opening his eyes, hiding again like he always did–

 

He heard that Jun stopped writing. Then he heard soft breaths, deep and long ones, and then footsteps, coming closer and closer until–

 

_Everything stopped._

 

But Kageyama still had his eyes closed. That was the time when he heard Jun say,

 

“Do you think I hate you?”

 

And Kageyama’s lips began to tremble, he pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to control the shaking. He felt his throat close off, he stopped breathing for a minute.

 

_Now or never._

 

Kageyama opened his eyes.

 

It was like hundreds of little lights – amber, like the dawn, and something warm, something breathtaking, something beautiful and her soul.

 

It was glowing. Just for him.

 

Jun’s eyes were reflecting with shining gold – with something more, with something endless that were nowhere near to sadness or guilt.

 

Kageyama wondered if Jun was even capable of hating him. Or even dislike him, look at him with cruelty, with unease, with something that wasn’t made from care.

 

_I wonder what I’d do without you, without this love._

 

He wondered whether this bright, unconditional love had been always this big.

 

_Was it this enormous when you taught me how to walk?_

 

Kageyama felt something deep, something bittersweet fill his soul and his white lines began to glow.

 

_Was it this enormous when you taught me how to talk?_

 

He reached out his hand, hesitating and saw Jun reaching out hers too. Both of them were afraid.

 

_Was it this enormous when I told you I hate you?_

 

Jun’s orange lines grew bigger, wider. Painting the walls, hanging down from the ceiling, circling around Kageyama.

 

_Was it this enormous when I got hurt and you made me feel better?_

 

Kageyama’s sight turned blurry, he took deep breaths and noticed Jun tearing up the moment she saw him cry.

 

_Was it this enormous when you did your everything and I still pushed you away?_

 

Kageyama intertwined their fingers and Jun got closer, crying too.

 

_I wonder what I’d do without you, without this love._

 

Kageyama couldn’t take it anymore so he hugged her and answered quietly to her question.

 

_Do you think I hate you?_

 

Jun hugged him back as he said,

 

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting not loving you every day in my life.”

 

Kageyama just then realized how much he had been missing his mom. Because Jun did not suffocate in their pain like he did right now.

 

No.

 

She laughed because she knew that they were going to be okay.

 

And that reassured Kageyama so much

 

that

 

his

 

soul

 

waved into Jun’s.

 

_Turning into orange._

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“And then it went up to your nose,” Jun was laughing, sitting on the sofa next to Kageyama. She was hugging a pillow to her chest, clinging into it, as she was laughing. Her voice calmed Kageyama down, didn’t irritate, didn’t make his skin crawl.

 

In all honesty, it just made him smile.

 

Kageyama closed his eyes and started to shake his head, still smiling. “I had no idea how to eat that thing.”

 

Jun started to bite back her laugh, turning red. “You mean spaghetti?” Kageyama couldn’t take it anymore, he burst out laughing.

 

“You didn’t even try to help me–”

 

Kageyama opened his eyes just to see Jun starting to hit the pillow, struggling to breathe. “You looked so cute–”

 

“I was dying!”

 

“Oh, please, I took it off the moment you–”

 

“I still nearly died!”

 

Jun let out a deep breath and let her head fell on the sofa. She smiled softly, looking at Kageyama. “You know I’d always protect you.”

 

_I do._

 

Maybe that was what he had been missing the most.

 

Kageyama saw her lines glow and blend with his. His lines had turned back into white, but it still remained closed to Jun’s.

 

_Almost like twin lines._

 

It meant family. It meant comfort.

 

“I missed talking to you like this,” Jun whispered slowly. Kageyama looked at her. “Without feeling any kind of guilt, without feeling pressure.”

 

Kageyama leaned his head on the sofa too. “I missed this too,” he said quietly, thinking about the man in the church. And then added, “I missed you too.”

 

Jun’s smile was as heartwarming as her lines were. Irreplaceable. Unique.

 

_The only kind in this world._

 

Kageyama got back something old, something soft kind of an emotion.

 

_I want to call her my mom again._

 

Kageyama closed his eyes, struggling not to cry because he had been so alone, so lonely. He pitied his own self. He pitied that little boy who never had _one_ – not even one friend. Who got home late just to not talk to his mom. Who walked to school alone, who walked to home alone. Who ate alone in the cafeteria, who played by someone else’s rule because no one could hit his tosses.

 

_None of his teammates called him on the days when he hadn’t shown up to the game._

 

They just didn't care.

 

He felt such an endless sadness and empathy, he would never see the end of it.

 

He remembered how he craved for hugs, for conversations – even meaningless ones. Even now.

 

He pitied this little boy with all his heart.

 

“I haven’t been okay, mom,” Kageyama heard her stop moving. “I haven’t been okay since years.”

 

It felt as if a monster had been pushed down from his shoulder. A creature who had been sitting on it since years, panting close to his ears like an ugly reminder that said ‘ _I’m here and you can’t get away._ ’

 

He felt his mom hands on his. Her touch was warm, Kageyama could feel the affection.

 

She pushed that monster down from his shoulder. Just like that.

 

_How could I have ever doubted you?_

 

_How could I?_

 

“I lied about the parties. I lied about the dinners. I lied about the birthdays,” he kept going. “I haven’t gone to any of those. I haven’t been invited,” Kageyama stopped for a minute to take a deep breath, shaking as he did so. “I might need to change, change something about me drastically in order for me to have friends, to have more in general–”

 

“Why should you change?”

 

Kageyama opened his eyes again, forgetting to hide.

 

His mom had a quiet smile on her face, still holding his hand. Kageyama’s heart tried to break free and soar up to the sky to touch the clouds because–

 

_What she basically just said was–_

 

And his mom continued, “I love you the way you are,” she brought his hands to her lips and pressed a little kiss on there. “You don’t need more, you don’t need less,” she smiled, looking back at him. “You only need you. And even if you change, I will love that version of you, too.”

 

Kageyama was trying not to cry – trying really hard – but only a few escaped from his eyes. He wiped them off with his free arms, smiling a little, because what she just meant was–

 

_I am enough._

 

His mom was looking at him with curiosity. Kageyama saw her lines circle around them as she spoke again, “You feel more mature. Not by much, only by a little.”

 

“That’s because I’m getting old,” he gave out a little laugh.

 

He expected his mom to laugh with him but her smile stayed. She was still staring at him.

 

“Do you know when you notice you’re getting old? When you really notice you’re seeing more?” she asked, quietly smiling.

 

Kageyama then asked. “When?”

 

“The moment when you realize you’re walking in a rushing crowd.”

 

And Kageyama realized, just like that.

 

_She means that you don’t hurry._

 

She means that you look around.

 

And Kageyama realized, just like that.

 

_Because you only notice those rushing people when you realize you have only one life._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

Kageyama grabbed his coat and walked close to his mom. His mom who still loved him, his mom who didn’t go to work today, saying she didn’t care about those five clients, saying it didn’t matter.

 

She was cooking for him but when she noticed he was waiting here, she stopped and turned to look at him.

 

“I’m heading out,” Kageyama said. “I’ll be back quick.”

 

His mom nodded and looked at him questionably, because Kageyama did not move.

 

_Shit._

 

“Umm,” Kageyama began, hesitantly scratching the back of his head, feeling the softness of his hair, trying to calm down. “Can I get a–”

 

_He couldn't. It was too embarrassing._

 

Kageyama sighed and gently shook his head. “Never mind,” he said, already looking away, his cheeks getting red. “It’s fine.”

 

His mom bit her bottom lip, she had a soft smile. She spread her arms wide and said, “Come here, you silly.”

 

And Kageyama walked closer and hugged her, melting, feeling comfort.

 

As if he was free.

 

As if he was more.

 

As if he was enough.

 

And then again, Kageyama Tobio, once in his life forgot how it felt being lonely.

 

_Maybe now forever._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama walked to give Seung more money when he heard Mitsuko’s familiar echo of her cane.

 

“Your line changed to orange for a moment,” she said with a little smile on her face. “You can see them now. You are ready.”

 

Kageyama turned intrigued. “Ready for what?”

 

Mitsuko stopped and held his hand with care, with respect.

 

“Ready to meet your first grey.”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“We can only see them after our line changes?” Kageyama asked her again as they walked. Mitsuko was holding his arms, Kageyama helped her walk.

 

“Our lines will never change permanently,” Mitsuko said quietly, her voice felt like an old melody. “We did too big of a thing, we can’t come back from that.”

 

_Kill one to save another._

 

Kageyama got quiet for a while. “Then how can it change for a short period of time?”

 

Mitsuko leaned on his shoulder, getting tired. She sighed. “I guess because we’re human too.”

 

He felt shivers running down on his spine. “And what does grey mean?”

 

Mitsuko’s cane always felt like a song to Kageyama. It had a rhythm, it had a story, it made him feel and rush or maybe calm down or walk slowly.

 

When Mitsuko answered, her cane sang the most beautiful song he had ever heard.

 

“A second chance.”

 

They stopped. Kageyama looked ahead.

 

_It was a hospital._

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama thought there would be a lot of blacks in a hospital. But he soon realized–

 

_There were a lot of yellows and purples._

 

And only a couple of blacks.

 

_And yet I haven’t seen any grey._

 

Mitsuko said it was in here somewhere. Kageyama only had to find it. He was walking in the hallways, doctors and nurses were everywhere.

 

He remembered his first time being here.

 

_Blood red painted hands._

 

Kageyama looked down at them immediately, seeing pure white lines. It did not make him angry anymore.

 

Because he wanted to save with those hands.

 

_And with greys I can._

 

Kageyama looked ahead and began to search, taking his time. Nobody asked him what he was searching for yet – but, for his case, he was really trying to blend in.

 

Unsuccesfully.

 

As it appeared to be.

 

Someone tapped his shoulder and he turned around, finding himself standing before a confused nurse.

 

She looked rather alarmed. “Can I help you, sir?”

 

And Kageyama spoke before he could stop himself. “I’m searching for someone.”

 

It wasn’t technically a lie.

 

_Well–_

 

She was even more confused. “Who are you searching for?”

 

_I did not think this through._

 

Kageyama was about to use Tendou’s signature move which was simply, make a run for it, but before he could have done that–

 

“Me.”

 

Kageyama looked behind his nurse and saw a boy looking around nine or eleven year old, wearing a hat, his hands glowed–

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened.

 

_His lines glowed grey._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“I was actually waiting for you,” the boy said, elbowing outside the terrace of his room. Kageyama was standing there, leaning one arm on the rail. The boy was wearing a hospital gown, also a jacket because the wind had turned cold.

 

The city was mesmerizing in the dark, at night. Especially from this view, from this floor.

 

“Waiting for me? Why did you lie to her?” Kageyama finally asked. “Saying I’m your distant cousin? We’ve never met before.”

 

The boy was silent for a long time. “I told you already. I was waiting for you. Thought you’d never show up,” he looked away from Kageyama, his voice quieting down by the end.

 

Kageyama raised his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to speak but the boy beat him to it.

 

“I didn’t know that death has to wear a coat. Can you catch cold too? That’s weird, what should you take to make it go away?” he began to laugh.

 

Kageyama didn't.

 

Everything slowed down, silence fell on his soul as he finally realized–

 

“Why would you wait for me?” Kageyama asked, playing along.

 

The boy shrugged. He looked back at him and then raised his hand to pull down his hat.

 

Kageyama’s breath hitched in his throat.

 

“I have cancer,” he said, putting back his hat. He was still smiling at the silent Kageyama. “No need to be so shocked, I know I am handsome.”

 

Kageyama still couldn’t talk. But that was okay for now, as it seemed because this boy did that for him instead.

 

“Once, I had a wig,” he said, as simply as if he was only talking about the weather. “It was purple, it looked hella awesome. I wanted to try it on again, one day. Well, it’s too late for that,” he shrugged again. “You’re here, after all.”

 

Kageyama’s heart started to beat again. “You’re on chemotherapy?”

 

The boy looked at him surprised. “I’m at the end to be honest,” he said and then looked back at the city. He began again, more quietly. “But I know it’s not working.”

 

Kageyama inhaled sharply, completely petrified.

 

“I’m going to have a surgery tomorrow,” he continued, his gentle eyes were glued on the city. “But I have a feeling I won’t make it,” he whispered. “Not this time.”

 

Kageyama felt the cold rush through his bones.

 

_A second chance._

 

“When I saw you in the middle of the hospital, standing there, I knew who you were,” he said. “You felt different. But it seems only to me, because no one stopped when they saw you – not the moment they saw you.”

 

Kageyama was speechless. But the boy didn’t stop.

 

“You look rather young but that maybe for only deceiving me,” he chuckled. “I read a lot so I know my stuff. I bet you’re really old – your eyes seem old, so I think I’m right,” he stopped for a moment. And then began again. “So, tell me, is there a God?”

 

Kageyama again, froze.

 

“I need to know,” the boy’s voice was shaking now. He looked at Kageyama. “I need to know because,” he took a deep breath. “I just need to know.”

 

Kageyama believed there was.

 

_But by sending people, at the right place, at the right time._

 

He hoped there was.

 

But he didn’t want to lie this boy. “Do you think there is?” He asked, trying to steady his voice, sounding gentle.

 

There was silence. “I hope there isn’t,” he admitted.

 

“Why?” Kageyama asked.

 

He looked back at him, his eyes met Kageyama’s blue.

 

“Because I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this.”

 

Kageyama never felt this type of a pain. This one burnt, this one felt like it wanted to eat him raw.

 

_Because what could he say to this?_

 

“The worst thing in this is my mom,” he continued, talking easily. “She has hope, she thinks I’ll survive. Dad knows the truth, he tries to support her and me but deep down he knows I’m too weak and that it’s too late, he just tries to cling into his own hope as well. I know. They didn't say, but I can tell,” he sighed again, closing his eyes. “It’s funny.”

 

Kageyama asked, his hands were shaking, “What?”

 

“I was hoping I could live more, too.”

 

Kageyama raised his head and blinked back his tears, the pain slid down onto his blood, appearing everywhere, poisoning him.

 

_Because he knew he couldn’t save him._

 

He couldn’t heal him.

 

It was just as he had said.

 

_Too late._

 

He turned back to him and offered his arm to Kageyama. “I’m ready,” he said in a powerful voice. “You can do it.”

 

_Kill me._

 

Kageyama had never seen something this powerful. He had a feeling he would never do either.

 

The boy closed his eyes and winced, shaking. He was scared, terrified, yet accepted death easily.

 

He was more human than most people were on this earth.

 

Kageyama’s classmates were always gossiping, bullying other people, hurting others, living their lives uselessly, wasting their time.

 

While this boy needed more.

 

While this boy wanted more.

 

While this boy offered his hand to take his one last day.

 

And Kageyama gently intertwined their fingers, but he never once looked down at it. He only looked into his eyes. His eyes which he had closed a minute ago.

 

_A second chance._

 

“What’s your name?” Kageyama asked quietly.

 

“Hiroshi,” he said, his voice was shaking. “But call me Hiro, you know, since we are holding hands and stuff,” he smiled.

 

His feet were trembling and he smiled.

 

_He deserves more._

 

“Do you want to have more time?”

 

Hiro opened his eyes and stared.

 

He couldn't look away.

 

Kageyama wanted to hug him so much. Especially when he asked,

 

“Can I really get more?” his smile widened, he raised his other hand over his mouth.

 

Kageyama smiled. A soulful smile. The only one he had never given to anyone yet.

 

“I can give you this day,” he said gently. “For a bit more. It will be the same, but you can do different things. I can’t heal you,” he said and started to caress his hand, trying to give comfort as Mitsuko usually gave to him. “I wish I could. I wish it with everything I have.”

 

The boy’s smile didn’t vanish. He got closer and hugged Kageyama without a second thought.

 

“I know,” he whispered to Kageyama. “This is more than I could ever get, this is more than I could ever wish for.”

 

And Kageyama’s heart grew bigger. It felt better – he felt better.

 

“This day was a good one after all, it can happen a couple of times,” Hiro said, grinning, glowing with colors. “How many times?”

 

Kageyama didn’t even think. “I visit you once a week and when you say it was enough, I’ll end it and you can continue.”

 

Hiro had a unique look in his eyes. A little smile, he began to tear up.

 

“Stop crying, it’s fine,” Kageyama whispered, wiping away his tears. “It’s going to be fine. What’s wrong?”

 

Hiro was still staring at him, crying and smiling.

 

“I hope there is a God,” he whispered. “I hope there is. Because even if he’s only half as good as you are, I still don’t think I have to worry anymore.”

 

Kageyama was so captivated that he didn’t even stare at Hiro’s lines.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Mitsuko and Kageyama were sitting on a bench in the park. The golden of the lamps were shining on the crown of their heads.

 

“We can only give time loops to greys?” Kageyama asked again, concentrating.

 

Mitsuko nodded. “Not everyone can get them. I tried, but it only works with greys, yes.”

 

Kageyama nodded, still focused. “And what did you say, what should I do?”

 

Mitsuko began explaining, calmly. “Imagine how it felt to talk to him,” she said. “Remember his soul and then start to braid yours into his.”

 

Kageyama turned to her, surprised. “But–”

 

Mitsuko was shaking her head. “Your lines won’t ever change nor ran out. Trust me, Tobio.”

 

Kageyama nodded, closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, thinking about Hiro.

 

It happened in a blink of an eyes. He could feel it on his fingertips.

 

Kageyama opened his eyes.

 

Hiro’s grey lines were in his hands. They were long – the lines grew. They started from Hiro’s wrists and ended in Kageyama’s hands.

 

_“...I was hoping I could live more, too...”_

 

And Kageyama, with this thought in mind, began to braid. He had never done any kind of thing like this before, but it came naturally now.

 

As if he was born to do this.

 

One line from him – he pulled the most glowing white. It grew back the moment he did that.

 

_One line from him, two lines from Hiro._

 

Once he was done he tied it together and let it go. He blinked and all of them was gone. He looked over Mitsuko who was quietly smiling at him.

 

_Guess I did well then._

 

He let out a long, deep breath, scratching the back of his head. When he raised his chin again, looking at Mitsuko, he noticed she had the same look Hiro gave him back at the hospital.

 

“You are something else, Tobio,” she spoke in a tone full of wonder.

 

Kageyama saw his lines glow whiter than Mitsuko’s. “Why?”

 

“Because you asked him whether he wanted one more day or not.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I cried a lot I– I have no idea– it's just
> 
>  
> 
> I LOVE KAGS SO MUCH WHAT THIS PART IS PURELY, INSANELY, MY FAV


	7. Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I just topped the previous chapter HOLY SHIT–
> 
> WHAT IS THIS PART?!!!
> 
>  
> 
> AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO IS LIKE?!! THIS IS ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL??!!
> 
> ps: IM HYPING WAY TOO MUCH pls STAHP ME

 

**Chapter 7**

 

 

 

 

 

**Black**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama opened his eyes and, for the first time, he felt like it could have been tomorrow.

 

_Why?_

 

He slowly blinked, feeling his eyelashes caress his cheek, like a gentle wind, a hurricane from his soul. He didn’t feel heavy, he didn’t feel that unpleasant, disgusting–

 

_Why?_

 

Kageyama slowly sat up in his bed and noticed how calm he really was. How steady he felt, how full, how _himself_.

 

His eyes widened.

 

_Oh._

 

It was like revelation. It was as if he had already known.

 

Kageyama lost it.

 

He gently touched his cheek, feeling the rush, the life inside of him bloom.

 

Kageyama lost the void he had felt every single day.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He was still pretty much in shock as he was walking down the stairs, noticing his mom, writing something on a piece of paper.

 

“Tobio,” she said after she had noticed him and then stopped writing for a while. “You’re up early.”

 

Kageyama loved her so much.

 

_“...You know I’d always protect you...”_

 

_I do._

 

How could he not know? How could he not?

 

“Hey, Jun,” Kageyama really struggled not to call her mom, but he knew that might be too much for her so suddenly. “Can you ask Tachibana whether he’s free later or not?”

 

His mom dropped the pen and Kageyama bit his bottom lip, fighting not to laugh.

 

She looked like as if she had seen a ghost. She was staring at the pen on the ground, then looked back at Kageyama, then again at the pen.

 

She frowned, as if she had heard it wrong. “What?” She asked, looking at Kageyama again.

 

Kageyama’s lips twitched. “You heard me,” he said with joyful eyes. “I thought I should give that man a break and talk with him a little. If you like him, he can’t be _that_ horrible.”

 

His mom’s eyes widened and she walked closer to him.

 

Now it was Kageyama’s turn to be shocked.

 

“Jun,” he began. “I said not that _terrible_ , he could still be _bad_ –”

 

“Tobio–”

 

“I’m just saying, I’ll give him a chance but only one–”

 

“I love you,” she hugged him and Kageyama was blinded by her glowing lines. _Orange_. Painting the house, circling around them like a hurricane made of stars and fireflies.

 

Kageyama hugged her back. “I love you too.”

 

And Kageyama could only think about one thing in that moment.

 

_No wonder I lost my empty, void of life._

 

But it was terrifying to realize how Kageyama needed a second chance just to realize how he missed being full with joy.

 

_How I missed this._

 

Kageyama smiled as he melted in his mom’s hug.

 

_How I missed her hugs, God._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Once Kageyama got out of his house he realized that something was incredibly loud. He turned his head to his right, to the house which was next to his.

 

_Heavy metal._

 

Kageyama had a weird thought and he moved before he could’ve controlled his feet.

 

_Everything has a reason._

 

As his footsteps echoed, Mitsuko’s words appeared in front of him, like an old lullaby.

 

_“...We are here for a reason,” Mitsuko said in a severe tone. “Creating time loops to save others, to make them see, to make a better life for them...”_

 

_Who are we to play God?_

 

Kageyama answered then.

 

But maybe it was much simpler. Maybe they don’t need to even _try_ to play God.

 

_Maybe we just need to be open minded._

 

Maybe they just needed to see. To be more perspective, just a little bit.

 

_Maybe the only thing they need is to be themselves._

 

Kageyama stopped in front of the house and knocked on the front door. The music quieted down and he heard footsteps.

 

The door opened and Kageyama saw a girl – she was a bit older than him. She was wearing a baseball hat and a leather jacket with elegant pants.

 

Kageyama noticed her black lines, glowing like the sky without stars.

 

_His power wanted to protect._

 

Kageyama wanted to put

 

stars

 

into her lines.

 

“Hey, neighbor,” Kageyama began and suddenly remembered they had never met before. “Do you want to drink a coffee?” Kageyama offered his hand and the girl shook it. “I’m Kageyama Tobio.”

 

Kageyama could barely suppress his flinch.

 

He felt those disgusting thoughts.

 

_She was suicidal._

 

“Sure neighbor,” she said politely. “My name is Nakamura Akira.”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Nakamura had a tattoo on her nape – that was the first thing she told him when Kageyama had asked what was her best memory. She answered with this. The day she got it.

 

The tattoo was a simple sentence that made Kageyama smile.

 

_I keep looking for something._

 

“Why this?” Kageyama asked as they were walking in the park.

 

Nakamura was older but Kageyama was taller – it was an interesting experience. Kageyama enjoyed it, with all honesty, it gave him a bit comfort.

 

_I remember how hard it was for me to talk to anyone. Especially girls, especially someone who was older._

 

What happened to the close minded, shy and naive kid he had been?

 

_He was still here._

 

Kageyama had a quiet smile on his face.

 

He just changed.

 

He had grown into something more. Someone better.

 

_Someone who was the real me._

 

“Because it’s true,” Nakamura said with a light smile. “You know that feeling when you feel like you’re missing something? Something you’ve been missing in your entire life? And you’re searching and searching but it seems like you’ll never find it. You know?”

 

Kageyama’s heart stopped.

 

_“... You were the brightest purple I’ve ever seen...”_

 

_Oh, I know._

 

He had been longing for more before all of this. He had been longing for something that made him feel alive. He had searched for that.

 

Kageyama stared at Nakamura who stared back with a little smile.

 

_I was just like you._

 

Kageyama saw a bench and and idea came to him. “Hey, Nakamura,” he said, already walking to the bench. “Can we sit here?”

 

Nakamura nodded and followed him, sitting down on the bench. Kageyama had an insane idea.

 

He still wanted to try.

 

His white lines were begging to heal her.

 

“This will sound insane,” he began quietly. He put down his coffee cup on the ground, next to the bench. “But bear with me, okay?”

 

Nakamura looked intrigued and suspicious but nodded nevertheless. “Shoot.”

 

Kageyama continued, just to be sure, “I know that we only really met today, and I’m kinda like a stranger, and we only know a couple of things about the other, and I’m younger, and I have no business here but,” he took a deep breath, bracing himself, “if you need help I’m here.”

 

Nakamura’s eyes widened, as if she couldn’t believe what she had heard. Then she said something that made Kageyama almost fell off the bench.

 

“Did you meet those two guys, too?”

 

Kageyama’s mind turned blank. “What?”

 

_What?_

 

Nakamura looked more confused. “You didn’t?”

 

Kageyama still couldn’t function properly. “What?” He stuttered. “Who?”

 

Nakamura frowned as she put down her cup too. “It happened this morning,” she began and turned back his baseball hat on her head to see Kageyama better. “They were really weird. The taller one was really patient. He was telling me to not give up? And that there’s always hope?” Kageyama raised his eyebrow. Nakamura started nodding. “I know, right?” She was still nodding. “But then the other one, the red head–”

 

_Red head?!_

 

Kageyama’s jaw fell.

 

_There was no way._

 

“– he said that they will visit me tonight,” Nakamura shrugged, turning quiet. “He said that they needed to stop a wedding but I better be at home after they were done.”

 

Kageyama didn’t even _know_ where to begin.

 

_Why would they say–_

 

He had a haunting thought.

 

He moved his hand and touched Nakamura’s lightly, gently. His white lines danced around her, making her feel safe.

 

“Have you planned to do something today?”

 

Nakamura turned to him sharply, eyes wide, heart accelerating. Kageyama stopped breathing.

 

“How?” Nakamura began with shaking voice. “How did you–”

 

“It’s simple really,” Kageyama said softly, slowly. “I just pay attention.”

 

It was terrifying.

 

How true that was.

 

How much that could matter.

 

Nakamura looked so scared and relieved at the same time. Kageyama figured it out, in that moment.

 

 _You’re afraid to die._ _You want to live._

 

And then Kageyama’s eyes widened.

 

_I keep looking for something._

 

And he started to speak before he could’ve stop himself,

 

“You’ve been looking for something to live for.”

 

Nakamura teared up as she moved her hands to wipe her tears away. She looked so fragile, so lonely.

 

_She looked like me._

 

Nakamura Akira looked exactly like that little boy who walked home alone after school.

 

Who always sat alone, who had no friends, who never talked anyone.

 

And Kageyama remembered how desperately he needed a hug back in that time.

 

He spread his arms wide, with a soulful smile.

 

The same he gave Hiro.

 

Nakamura’s eyes shone with tears as Kageyama said, “It’s going to be alright.”

 

She moved closer and hugged him with everything she had. Kageyama saw her lines turn yellow.

 

It was now half yellow and half black.

 

And for some reason Kageyama was sure.

 

_There’s a reason I’m here._

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“This day was strange but thanks for walking me home,” Nakamura smiled at him as they stopped before her house. “I’m curious whether those two guys will be back.”

 

Kageyama turned curious and rather alarmed. “How did that red head look like?”

 

Nakamura raised her brows. “Really weird.”

 

“Fidgety?”

 

“Kinda?”

 

“Insane?”

 

“A bit?”

 

“Grinning all the time?”

 

“That’s scarily accurate, do you know him?”

 

Kageyama snorted because there was no way and yet here he was.

 

_Fucking Tendou Satori._

 

“Let’s just say that he and I have an interesting history and a more interesting first meeting,” Kageyama grinned, looking up to the sky, shaking his head.

 

_I can’t believe this._

 

“Whoa,” he heard Nakamura. “The world is really small.”

 

Kageyama looked back at her. “You have no idea,” he said, still shaking his head.

 

But he knew deep down – he knew they would meet. But then again, this was kinda scary.

 

_So many things are connected._

 

But how did Tendou know Nakamura needed help? And the other guy? Who was that?

 

Kageyama started to think because there was something fishy going on about this, but then he heard Nakamura ask,

 

“Why did you visit me today?”

 

He stared at her and remembered. How weird.

 

_On the first day Kageyama was annoyed by her – by how loudly she was listening to music._

 

How weird.

 

“I was curious who’s blasting the music every single time I wake up,” he began. “I was curious.”

 

_I just paid attention._

 

Kageyama felt chills ran down his spine when Nakamura then bowed in front of him.

 

He couldn’t move.

 

“Thank you,” she said, her hat almost fell off her head. “I know it might seem weird, and I know I’m older and we really only met today, and know only a couple of things about the other but,” she straightened her back and just stopped, staring at him.

 

Kageyama saw her smile for the first time today. Her real smile.

 

_A soulful, grateful smile._

 

Just for him. For what he had done, for who he was.

 

Kageyama couldn’t move.

 

And then Nakamura continued, “You did more than anyone I had ever met.”

 

Kageyama remembered saying something like this to Tendou. He remembered the joy he felt, thanking him.

 

_The first friend he had ever made._

 

He remembered Tendou smiling at him as if Kageyama had the most humanity in the world.

 

And then he realized again, looking at Nakamura.

 

_You’re like me._

 

“Hey,” Kageyama began, quoting Tendou. “That’s what friends are for.”

 

Because that was what he needed to hear back then.

 

_And that is what she has to hear now._

 

Nakamura Akira’s lough was loud, filled with happiness. It stayed with Kageyama after she had hugged him, it stayed after he had walked away, going to the city.

 

It stayed like a never ending miracle.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” his dad sounded serious. “You’re really giving him a chance? Did Christmas really come this early?”

 

“Very funny,” Kageyama smiled. “Why don’t you believe me?”

 

“I don’t know buddy,” his dad sounded amused. “Really, I have no idea why I’m acting like this. Really, as if you had ever given one single sign that you didn’t like him or something.”

 

Kageyama blinked, surprised, making a pause. “Did you just–”

 

“So you and Jun are okay now?” Kageyama could practically hear his dad’s smile through his voice.

 

“Yeah,” Kageyama smiled and kicked a little rock as he was walking. “But you saw that from miles away, didn’t you?”

 

“Kinda,” he said as if it had been _that_ obvious. “You’re easy to read.”

 

Kageyama snorted. _You’d be surprised._

 

The city was glowing around him as he made his way to Shibuya, planning to give Seung more money.

 

“How’s grandpa? Did he fight with someone?”

 

“How do you even know that?” Kageyama laughed, his dad continued. “He’s fine. I’m more worried about the other guy.”

 

“Hmm, no wonder,” Kageyama’s voice was light hearted, it was so easy to speak. “Hey, dad can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure, buddy.”

 

Kageyama’s soul was weightless, he felt like he could do anything.

 

“Have you ever felt like you’ve been searching for something in your entire life?”

 

The line fell silent for a long time. 

 

“It’s funny you ask that,” he continued in anostalgic tone. “Because I think everyone is searching for something and that’s a very important thing,” he stopped for a minute. “Because if you’re searching for something – believe me when I say this, Tobio –, you will find it or it will find you. One way or another.”

 

_You will find it or it will find you._

 

Kageyama’s voice sounded nothing like his old self when he asked,

 

“And did you find yours?”

 

His dad laughed. “My miracle?” he said in a voice full of life. “I found it the moment you were born.”

 

Kageyama was speechless.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama didn’t know how he ended up in another street. Maybe the talk with his father just distracted him that much but he knew what he was staring at currently now.

 

A dark skinned man in dirty, ripped clothes were playing on the piano. There was a board next to it, there was something written on it;

 

 _Play me_.

 

Kageyama walked closer and saw a couple of people surrounding the old man and the piano, dropping money on the can, which was on the top of the piano.

 

Everyone’s line were yellow and only the man had purple lines.

 

He was playing a light music, something nostalgic yet beautiful. Kageyama didn't know. The notes were pretty, they were building up and up–

 

_And he had purple lines._

 

Kageyama walked closer and just listened, seeing this old man, playing with his whole soul. The only purple surrounded by more than ten yellows.

 

When he stopped, Kageyama walked closer to him and spoke, “Can I invite your for a ramen, sir?”

 

The man gave him one of the most beautiful smile Kageyama had ever seen.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“I haven’t eaten something that was so good since forever,” the man had a gentle and deep voice. It felt like some of those old songs, the kind which would never get old. “Thank you, Kageyama.”

 

“Please, Gerard,” he said with a little smile. “Call me Tobio.”

 

Gerard’s lines were yellow and purple and orange – they made such a nice color, such a human color, Kageyama had to blink a couple of times just to not start crying.

 

“You can eat anything, as much as you want,” Kageyama said, smiling as Gerard grinned as if this was the best day of his life.

 

_Maybe it was._

 

Kageyama’s smile vanished, slowly, as he felt pain and empathy, so deep within himself he was surprised.

 

“Can I ask how you lost your home?” Kageyama began carefully, trying to remain respectful.

 

Gerard touched his hand, reassuring him. He calmed down immediately, feeling comfortable. So many people were in the restaurant, giving them weird looks or trying not to stare.

 

_While Gerard made everyone happy, playing piano, because that was the only thing he could do._

 

The candles were glowing gold, warming the place in an orange light, like the dawn as the sun hits the surface. The voices and the noises were familiar, trying to give comfort and welcome.

 

And yet no one looked as happy and as joyful as now Gerard did.

 

They had homes, they had family, they had food and bed everyday.

 

And yet,

 

Gerard gave him one of the most joyful smile.

 

Kageyama doubted he would see another like this.

 

“You can ask anything, Tobio,” Gerard’s kind voice was everything. It was filled with experience and wisdom, but it was humble and understanding.

 

Kageyama had a gentle thought.

 

_If there was a God, I hope he had a voice like Gerard._

 

“My family had a car crash,” he began, still holding Kageyama’s hand, not even looking at his food, only at him.

 

Gerard gave all his attention to Kageyama – with the thought in mind that he might never have this kind of food again.

 

He gave all his attention despite being hungry.

 

And Kageyama’s respect towards this man grew as much it could’ve reached the highest mountain on earth.

 

“Everything felt hard to do, I had no reason to live, no reason to continue and then I stopped working and then the next time, I realized I have nowhere to go,” Gerard’s smile turned melancholic. “It’s too late now. I still have music, though,” he turned joyful again.

 

Kageyama was breathless.

 

He had never lost his purple line, his longing soul.

 

“You mean the piano, right?” Kageyama asked.

 

Gerard nodded and continued eating his food, enjoying every little bite. “My papa always said, ‘ _Music heals souls, it shows you the way to yourself’_ and oh boy, was he right,” Gerard looked up to the ceiling with a gentle smile.

 

Kageyama immediately thought of Seung.

 

“You play every day?” Kageyama stared at him with his whole soul. “In cold, in wind, in rain?” He needed to say it. “Gerard, you’re amazing. You are one of the most incredible person I have ever met.”

 

Gerard stopped eating and looked at him with such an interesting eyes. No one had ever looked at him with this kind of an emotion.

 

As if Kageyama was–

 

Gerard smiled – it was a smile that could’ve melt the entire world with hope.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“Please, take it,” Kageyama gave him his wallet. “All of it.”

 

Gerard’s eyes widened – he immediately pushed the wallet back to Kageyama’s chest. “No,” he whispered, looking confused. “What are you doing? You already did way too much–”

 

“Gerard,” Kageyama began again, more forceful. “If we’re friends, you’ll take it,” he gave it to him.

 

The old man never looked down at the wallet – he was only staring at Kageyama. He noticed tears in his eyes–

 

Gerard hugged him.

 

Kageyama hugged him back and then Gerard began laughing with his heart. The sound made Kageyama smile, he almost let go but before that, he heard Gerard say, still laughing,

 

“You’re a miracle, Tobio.”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama noticed an adult man sitting on the bench – golden lines danced around him, glowing like the sun.

 

It was dark now – so he was the only glowing soul in the park.

 

And Kageyama moved before he knew.

 

“Good evening, sir,” he began and did a quick bow. The adult met his eyes. “My name is Kageyama Tobio.”

 

The man nodded and bowed too. “My name is Ito Takeshi,” he looked around and glanced back at Kageyama, looking incredibly lost.

 

_Looks like I keep walking into lost souls._

 

“Can I help you?” Ito asked.

 

Kageyama felt brave, bold.

 

He felt like he could do anything.

 

“I think I should be the one asking you,” Kageyama sat next to him. “Why would anyone sit here this late at night? You know that it’s going to be ten soon, right, sir?”

 

Ito sighed, looking crestfallen. “I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he said quietly, looking at Kageyama. “I don’t know what should I do.”

 

Kageyama tilted his head, showing him that he was listening.

 

Ito sighed again and tried to wipe anything that wore him down off his face.

 

It didn’t work, Kageyama could tell.

 

“My daughter’s wedding is going to be tomorrow, in Busan,” he said. “I want to go but she hates me,” he gave out a weak laugh, closing his eyes. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”

 

Kageyama looked up to the sky filled with stars, deep in thought. “Why do you think she hates you?”

 

He heard his answer.

 

“Because I did not approve and she told me.”

 

Kageyama looked back at him, eyes wide, completely surprised. “Then why do you want to go?”

 

Ito expanded his hands, raising his brows as he turned over to Kageyama. “I know!” He said, looking as confused as Kageyama. “I know, right? Why? I hate the guy, Kageyama,” he buried his face into his hands, shaking his head, groaning. “I hate him so much I can’t even put it into words.”

 

Kageyama frowned. “But why?”

 

Ito groaned again. “Because he might lose his job, because he might fall out of love, because he might change her, because he might stole her money.”

 

Kageyama blinked, completely losing the string. “But neither of those things happened, right?”

 

Ito sighed. “Well, yeah.”

 

Kageyama blinked again. “Ito, we just met, so please don’t get offended, but you’re kinda being a bit paranoid.”

 

“That’s actually what my brother said.”

 

Kageyama looked thoughtful. “You want to go because you know this too.”

 

Ito didn’t deny. “She hates me,” he said instead.

 

Kageyama tried to imagine what he would feel. He had never thought about his own wedding – there was no reason to –, but he tried to imagine his father not being there.

 

_“...My miracle? I found it the moment you were born...”_

 

His heart started to bleed.

 

“I would hate my father,” Kageyama began in a quiet voice, “if he hadn’t showed up at my wedding.”

 

It was then when he noticed that Ito had been looking at him the entire time.

 

“It’s too late now,” Ito said, slightly panicking. “The last plane takes off in half an hour.”

 

Kageyama’s soul moved. He stood up.

 

_I feel like I can do anything._

 

“No,” he said, surprising Ito and even himself how determined he sounded. “We need to hurry, but we can catch it.”

 

Ito turned shocked. “What–”

 

Kageyama caught his wrist and started running to the road. He felt his lungs burn, his feet brush past the wind, Ito followed him with a panicked look on his face.

 

Kageyama stopped and had an insane idea. He turned around to Ito while he raised his hand, trying to catch a taxi.

 

“Look angry and really stressed out,” Kageyama said hurriedly.

 

Ito’s eyes widened more if that was possible. “ _What_?”

 

A taxi stopped before them. “Just play along,” Kageyama said quietly as he sat in the car, Ito following him.

 

The moment Ito closed the door, Kageyama started shouting.

 

“How could you leave Uncle at the Airport?”

 

The taxi driver’s cigarette fell out of his mouth, looking completely bewildered.

 

Ito looked confused but then he realized what Kageyama was doing. He started shouting as well,

 

“I thought you were the one watching him!”

 

Kageyama tried to look angry. “You very well know he’s a kleptomaniac and what you do?” he turned towards the taxi driver and pointed at Ito without looking at him. “And what he does?”

 

“What did that poor man do?” The taxi driver asked.

 

“I looked away for only once, I swear,” Ito spoke.

 

Kageyama clicked his tongue. “You think I’m the one you should be worried about? You’re gonna be the one who’s gonna talk to Auntie.” 

 

Ito’s eyes widened. “Shit.”

 

Kageyama paled. “Don’t tell me you left the money with Uncle?”

 

Ito gave out a tiny, distressed sound from the back of his throat. Kageyama turned back to the taxi driver with a terrifying look in his eyes.

 

The taxi driver actually gulped. Loudly.

 

“You, Esteban,” Kageyama made up his name, desperately trying not to laugh and stay in character. “You better know a shortcut.”

 

And Esteban stepped on that pedal so fast as if the world was ending.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

They arrived with a loud, ear hurting sound – the sound of the brake. Ito got out of the car and Kageyama turned into Esteban’s direction.

 

“Esteban–”

 

“My name is not–”

 

“Esteban!” Kageyama began, looking as strict and powerful like a mafia boss. “I won’t forget this debt, I’ll send blessings to you and your family,” he got out of the car. “We shall meet again, until then, stop smoking.”

 

Esteban opened his mouth and then shut it and then opened again, looking confused. “Who the hell are you?”

 

Kageyama grinned and then broke into a run, following Ito. They got into the Airport – Ito began to laugh next to him, still running, trying to avoid the crowd.

 

“What was that? Esteban?” Ito grinned at him, looking back, because he was running front. “Really?”

 

Kageyama burst out laughing too. He caught up and now they were running next to each other. Kageyama noticed a clock.

 

_10:18_

 

“I don’t even have a suitcase!” Ito shouted, still grinning.

 

“You only need you!” Kageyama answered, laughing freely, not caring how everyone was staring at them.

 

And only then Kageyama noticed.

 

_Ito’s line wasn’t golden anymore._

 

It was yellow.

 

_Joy._

 

They arrived, noticing a big queue and neither of them cared – they crashed into it and made it to the front.

 

“One ticket to Busan, I don’t care where the seat is I just need to get there tomorrow,” Ito began, panting with Kageyama.

 

The lady looked angry and the crowd started to yell but before she could began Kageyama spoke.

 

“Listen,” he tried to stop panting. “Listen, he needs to be there – it’s going to be his daughter’s wedding and the last time they saw each other - that ended badly. They deserve a chance, this man,” Kageyama clasped Ito’s shoulder, “deserves a chance. He wants to be a good father, he needs to be there.”

 

A lot of people looked angry and the woman’s expression hadn’t changed either. Kageyama tried to find a clock.

 

_10:23_

 

He turned back into the mafia boss and used his intimidating gaze on the lady.

 

“Look, Marcella–”

 

“My name is actually–”

 

“Marcella!” Kageyama raised a hand, silencing her. “If you don’t start typing now, I will call Mr. Yukiteru and there will be a bloodbath.”

 

Marcella’s eyes widened in fear. “You know Mr. Yukiteru?”

 

Kageyama stopped, silently screaming.

 

“I do,” he said, not breaking character. “He’s an old friend of mine. Now,” he leaned closer, looking terrifying, “begin.”

 

Marcella did but then, after a couple of minutes, she said, sounding terrified, “There’s no free seat.”

 

_Shit._

 

Kageyama’s mind was whirling, looking like a war, trying to find a solution when–

 

“You.”

 

Kageyama turned back and found himself staring at the tallest, broadest man he had ever seen.

 

_He had yellow lines._

 

“I have a ticket, he could get it,” he said, already giving the ticket to Ito who looked so shocked he couldn’t even talk.

 

Kageyama tried to stay in character. “Why?”

 

The tall man began, “I know who you are,” he grinned.

 

Kageyama froze.

 

_What?_

 

“You do?” Kageyama asked, suspicious.

 

The tall man nodded, still grinning. “But don’t worry,” he said, winking at him. “I won’t tell anyone,” he said and then added only for Kageyama to hear, “Boss.”

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened as he stared at him. He winked again and began to walk away.

 

_What just happened?_

 

“Kageyama!” Ito yelled and hugged him – Kageyama couldn’t breathe. “Thank you, thank you! I will never forget this!” He stepped back and looked at him and then at the ticket with so much happiness Kageyama smiled.

 

“Thank you!” He said again and then started running. “I’ll owe you one!” He shouted back.

 

Kageyama laughed. “Just go and give a chance to that poor man!”

 

And only then he realized, again.

 

He gave the same advice he got from both his mom and dad.

 

_Give him a chance._

 

And Kageyama was still grinning, waving Ito.

 

He walked away from the queue and sat down on a chair, still smiling. He looked to his left and saw someone else sitting at the table.

 

The boy was older than him, he had black hair and he was wearing a really cool leather jacket. He was typing something on his phone, looking horrible.

 

_As if he just had the worst day._

 

Kageyama noticed his line.

 

Gold.

 

_Sadness, guilt._

 

Suddenly everything quieted down, everyone seemed to slow down, as if this was only just a movie. Kageyama heard a slow song somewhere deep in the building.

 

“Hey,” Kageyama began and the boy stared at him.

 

He had blue eyes.

 

Kageyama froze for a minute. It was rare to see someone who wore the same eye color he did.

 

_Not quite._

 

The boy’s was a bit lighter.

 

“Yes?” The boy asked, his voice felt tired, almost sounding nothing, empty.

 

Kageyama gave him a little smile.

 

“We’re all have our bad days,” he said. “It’s gonna be alright.”

 

He didn't look convinced. “How do you know?”

 

Kageyama shrugged, still smiling.

 

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

 

Kageyama noticed a clock.

 

_11:59_

 

The boy looked taken a back. He asked, “What’s your name?”

 

Kageyama opened his mouth–

 

He woke up.

 

He sighed and then smiled a little.

 

_Maybe next time._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I love how many character were mentioned or appeared off screen or in screen because each had been mentioned already in part 1 and 2 without names :DDDD and with names too!! So there's a lot going on
> 
> Gerard's piano performance: Queen – Love of my life
> 
> PS: Today’s my BIRTHDAY ^_^ I’m finally 18 \\(^-^)/


	8. Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I CANT–
> 
> PPS: THIS PART I SWEAR TO GOD–
> 
> PPPS: I CAN'T EVEN FUNCTION NORMALLY AFTER THIS

**Chapter 8**

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Green**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama was walking with steady steps, enjoying the wind and the sunlight on his skin, when he heard Mitsuko’s song though her cane.

 

She leaned her head on his arm – Kageyama slowed down his steps. The world lost its noise, it became silence itself.

 

It felt peaceful.

 

“I sometimes wonder about you,” Mitsuko said quietly. “I wonder why you were chosen.”

 

Kageyama turned his head to look at her. “I got this power because I killed to protect.”

 

Mitsuko’s green eyes shone – the sun touched her iris in little dots, like stars.

 

“But then what about the police? They have black lines and yet they protect and kill. They never get chosen,” Mitsuko fell silent for a minute. “That’s why I can’t help but wonder...”

 

Kageyama felt his heart jump up to his throat.

 

Mitsuko frowned. “I’ve been watching you since the beginning,” she continued, her voice soft, “and I... I’m speechless.”

 

Kageyama stopped and touched Mitsuko’s hand – he felt her rings under his palm. “Why?” He didn’t believe how desperate he had sounded. “What’s so different about me?”

 

Mitsuko laid her hand on the top of his as her voice turned into mere whispers, elevating Kageyama’s soul,

 

“You feel like you’ve seen too much and never looked away.”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama as saw his teammates arrive noticed their green lines dancing around their wrists. He noticed the coach’s and the manager’s green too.

 

He was the only one who had white, who had something else on his wrist.

 

Kageyama also noticed how much more perspective he was now – he saw things he had never seen before. Maybe he hadn’t looked enough or just simply hadn't cared to look more into it.

 

Whenever he looked away or turned around, they began to talk immediately. He walked closer to Toobetsu and Oritsume – they fell silent the moment he walked too close and turned their cold gaze at him.

 

Kageyama halted in his steps.

 

_I am enough._

 

Kageyama repeated in himself.

 

_I am enough._

 

He didn’t know who he tried to convince.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

Kageyama was sitting alone in the bus. As he always did. Hearing the others chat cheerfully, sometimes stealing a look at him, gossiping. He was sitting in silence. Through the whole ride. He was used to that.

 

_I am enough._

 

Then why are you alone?

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama walked towards Hinata the moment he noticed his red lines glowing in the crowds of colors.

 

_The only red._

 

The only different individual in this building besides Kageyama. He knew that he was being given a lot of weird looks by his teammates but he desperately wanted to get out of there.

 

“Hey,” Kageyama started. Hinata paled, completely expecting the worse out of this scenario. “What’s your name?”

 

“Hinata,” he began hesitantly, squinting at him with a suspicious look in his eyes. “Why are you asking?”

 

Kageyama opened his mouth to continue–

 

“Kageyama,” Kunimi shouted. Kageyama could actually taste the annoyance in his voice. “Come back, what are you doing?”

 

Kageyama clenched his fists and looked down, pressing his lips into a thin line.

 

_I just wanted to talk to him._

 

He closed his eyes, and then he heard him again. “We’re going to start soon, come back here already.”

 

_I am enough._

 

Then why does this hurt so much?

 

Kageyama felt as if he had turned back into that little boy who walked home alone every single day. As if he had changed his skin somewhere along the day, as if he had woken up as lonely as he did before.

 

“Kageyama!”

 

Kageyama opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was Hinata’s glowing, beautiful red lines.

 

_Brighter than the sun._

 

Brighter than anything he had ever seen.

 

He felt a peaceful, quiet smile touch his face.

 

He remembered what Hinata said.

 

_“...And you’ll earn your joy when you realize how hard it is to win...”_

 

 _No, Hinata,_ Kageyama wanted to say as their eyes met again. Hinata’s were wide, similar to gold.

 

_I don’t need to win to earn my joy today._

 

Kageyama, still smiling softly, turned away and walked back to their side.

 

_I already earned it the moment I saw you._

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

He didn’t know why it happened. He only knew that his soul started to get tired.

 

_Was this really how he deserved to be treated?_

 

“It was too high, try it again,” Kindaichi said, his voice was steel.

 

_No matter how hard I try I can’t toss the way you want to._

 

“What’s wrong with you? You’re not doing your job properly!” Kunimi continued.

 

_That’s why you’re worried? Because you might lose? Without me doing my job? Doing my best?_

 

_I’ve never done my best. You can’t hit my best._

 

“Look,” Kageyama began quietly, talking to Kunimi. “Tell me what should I change and we can try to work on that–”

 

Kindaichi actually laughed. “What? You’re only now trying to get back on the ground?”

 

Kageyama turned around him, narrowing his eyes. “I’m–”

 

“What are you guys doing?” Hashikami walked towards them, his eyes strict. “We’re in the middle of a match, control yourselves!”

 

The coach looked at them with narrowed eyes. He did not care at all.

 

_Not even an adult would stick up to him._

 

Kageyama looked back at the others, wanting to speak.

 

“And we will,” Kindaichi beat him to it, pointing at Kageyama. “The moment he tries to behave and actually do his job.”

 

The court fell scarily silent.

 

Kageyama spoke. “This shouldn't be only about me,” he tried to control his voice, yelling wouldn’t get him anywhere. “You’re not working with me either–”

 

A lot of them snorted, smirked and–

 

“Oh my god,” Oritsume shook his head, smiling, as if he couldn’t believe this nonsense. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

“And why is that?” Kindaichi sneered. “Have you ever thought about how irritating you are?”

 

Kageyama’s breath hitched in his throat.

 

Oritsume joined, his voice cold as ice, “You act all high and know it all, but you’re a no one, Kageyama. You’re no better than us, yet you act like you own everything.”

 

The silence was deafening. He hid his hands behind his back, trying not to show that they were shaking.

 

_I am enough._

 

“Have you ever wondered why aren’t we talking to you? Sit next to you?” Kunimi spoke, not stopping at all.

 

_I am enough._

 

“Yeah,” Kindaichi’s eyes were filled with anger. “No one wants to be around you or even talk to you. Don’t you understand? Because it’s simple, really. Even someone who is as stupid as you could figure it out.”

 

He flinched.

 

_I am enough._

 

“You are unbearable.”

 

_I am enough._

 

“No one can work with you – none of us,” Kunimi pointed at the others, looking around. “You’re only here because of one mere reason. Do you want to know? Huh? Kageyama?!”

 

Kageyama couldn’t move.

 

_I am enough._

 

“It’s only because we can win easier with you being here.”

 

Kageyama’s void nestled back into his colorful life – painting everything with grey and black. His lines were still white but that didn’t matter. No one could see that anyway.

 

_I am enough._

 

Kageyama wanted to cover his ears, but instead of that, he just closed his eyes.

 

_I am._

 

He wanted to be deaf, he wanted to feel such a deep pain that would end up making him feel nothing.

 

_Because–_

 

What does it matter if you’re enough, when you’re alone?

 

“How can you say that?”

 

The world stopped because when Kageyama opened his eyes and turned into the direction of the voice he saw Hinata.

 

Kageyama forgot to look at his lines this time.

 

Hinata had a storm on his face – one of his teammates tried to hold him back, the rest of them looked as angry, as surprised and disgusted as Hinata was.

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened as he saw the ginger walk over their side, bending down to avoid the net.

 

The judge used his whistle – it echoed in the whole court. But Hinata didn’t seem like to care. He stood next to Kageyama, with straightened back and an intense look on his eyes.

 

The red glow surrounded him like a force to be reckoned with.

 

_Humanity._

 

Kageyama couldn’t look away.

 

“How can you say that to your teammate? You know what – no,” Hinata’s eyes were cold, his voice was dripping with wrath and disgust. “How can you say that to anyone? In general?”

 

Kageyama’s teammates looked angry and confused. Hinata’s teammates looked uncomfortable but oddly proud.

 

Kindaichi spoke, “That’s not your business–”

 

“Oh, you shut up,” Hinata’s intense eyes were on Kindaichi now. “Even my little sister understands how to behave properly. You, as a teenager, can’t?”

 

Someone in Hinata’s team actually whistled at that.

 

Kageyama felt the familiar void struggle inside of his soul as it began to leave him–

 

“And what do you mean ‘ _we can’t work with you?’_ ” Hinata looked at them, one by one, the spite was clear on his face. The judge’s whistle was still going, almost like a siren, but he didn’t care.

 

Kageyama forgot to care.

 

He only saw Hinata.

 

“All of you are so blind, it’s not even funny,” Hinata snorted. “ _He_ is the one who can’t work with _you_. From where I see it, he’s holding himself back. I only needed six minutes into the game to notice that,” he leaned closer to Kindaichi, looking intimidating. “Who’s the stupid now?”

 

“Stop messing around!” The coach started shouting. “Finish the game!”

 

Hinata snorted and shook his head. “I’m not playing with them,” he said, looking at Kageyama’s teammates. “Like hell, I don’t even want to be in the same room as them.”

 

Kageyama then realized what the void was in his life. He realized the moment Hinata spoke – he realized because it vanished, like rain.

 

It was loneliness.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was sitting on the stairs outside the building. His team had already gone away, leaving him there.

 

But it didn’t hurt anymore. Not that much, how it did before.

 

He heard footsteps and he knew who that person was. How could he not?

 

_No one else – who’s my age – wants to talk to me._

 

“Hi,” Hinata sighed and sat next to Kageyama. “Did those assholes leave?”

 

Kageyama sighed, too. “They did.”

 

Hinata turned around him, disgusted and disappointed at the same time. “They just left you here?”

 

Kageyama shrugged. He looked at the ginger – the sun behind his silhouette glowed him with golden light.

 

“Are you really surprised?” He asked slowly, a bit dizzy.

 

Hinata fell silent. He brought up his knees and laid his head on them. His hair was messy, his wavy locks got in his eyes. The red lines were lazily circling him, around his back.

 

_Almost like wings._

 

Kageyama forgot to breathe for a minute.

 

“No wonder you came to me before the match,” Hinata said softly, closing his eyes. “You just wanted to talk to someone.”

 

_You just wanted to talk to someone._

 

Kageyama smiled, even though he knew, Hinata couldn’t see it.

 

“Why would you hold back?” Hinata’s voice was calming. “You’re just giving them more reasons to hurt you.”

 

Kageyama then answered, “Because they can’t hit my tosses otherwise.”

 

Hinata after a couple if minutes filled with silence, gave out a gentle smile, still having his eyes closed.

 

“Maybe one day you will find someone who can.”

 

Kageyama couldn’t look away.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama woke up to silence and he could only think about one thing.

 

_Almost like wings._

 

That was the best day of his life.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH HINATA?
> 
> PPS: Kags is whipped and he has no idea.
> 
> PPPS: can u blame him tho?
> 
> PLAYLIST: https://play.soundsgood.co/playlist/every-tomorrows


	9. Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words anymore.
> 
> I just topped
> 
> the
> 
> previous
> 
> 3 
> 
> chapters.
> 
> PS: somebody stop me.

 

**Chapter 9**

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Yellow**

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama had a little smile all day. It just couldn’t vanish no matter how hard he tried. He was walking all day in the city, with his hands in his pocket, wandering, looking at souls.

 

The sun was shining like a never ending miracle – the cherry blossoms were flying in the air, bright rose colored petals calmed his eyes wherever he went. Children sometimes looked at him for far too long.

 

He saw blues too.

 

He knew how to control himself this time.

 

When one passed by him, Kageyama saw him flinch once he felt Kageyama’s white line touch his blue.

 

Kageyama cracked his throat and continued walking, hands still in his pocket. He couldn’t help but think–

 

_The old me would have snapped his neck_

 

Kageyama’s eyes darkened when he remembered what Mitsuko said.

 

_“...This feeling will never go away but you can quiet it down if you just give time loops to certain people...”_

 

So that’s why he was this calm.

 

_I released that feeling by giving a time loop to Hiro._

 

Kageyama again, began to smile.

 

_I should visit him soon._

 

And also Seung. Kageyama began to miss the musician.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama was doubting in his own eyes.

 

He squinted.

 

His jaw fell down.

 

He had wanted to drink his cup of tea – in this surprisingly calm coffee house –, but his arm froze in midway.

 

_There was no way._

 

Kageyama was still doubting himself, so he signalled the waiter. The waiter had a big smile but then – when he got close enough to Kageyama and looked out the window – his jaw fell down, too.

 

Kageyama’s eyes widened. He looked at the waiter, and then back at the impressive scene, and then back at his cup of tea.

 

Then he looked back at the waiter.

 

The waiter was already looking at him.

 

“You’re seeing this, right?” They asked at the same time.

 

_No way._

 

And then someone started shouting from the other side of the room:

 

“ARE YA’LL SEEING THAT BRIDE RUNNING OUT OF THE CHURCH OR AM I TRIPPIN?”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama knew how this must have looked like. Of course he did.

 

He was running after a bride.

 

_It’s insane how fast women can run in heels._

 

Because Kageyama was running with full speed and yet it seemed he would never catch up. People were looking at him funny, jumped out of his way, dropped their shopping bags, even their phones. He almost ran into a bunch of kindergarten kids – he dodged in the last minute, jumping up and then – scared for his legs – he rolled on the ground, already running again.

 

The kids gasped loudly. “SPIDERMAN!”

 

“GOD DAMN!” Kageyama heard one of the kids.

 

“Taki! Language!” the kindergartner said, completely bewildered.

 

Kageyama tried to speed up – the bride was still far away. _Seriously, does she work out?_

 

His lungs were on fire but he didn’t stop. He then heard a group of people grin in his way and shout:

 

“GO BUDDY!”

 

“YOU’RE ALMOST THERE!”

 

“YOU CAN DO IT!”

 

Kageyama couldn’t take it. He shouted back while running. “I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE THE GROOM!”

 

“THEN WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AFTER HER BRO?!”

 

Kageyama only laughed. He started to feel warm, he felt the sweat roll down on his back – he took off his jacket and looked around – the closest person who was walking next to him, was a bit older, handsome boy with orange lines.

 

Kageyama threw his jacket at him, still running.

 

The boy halted in his steps, looking so surprised that his expression made Kageyama laugh. Because of the sound, the boy looked up and stared at Kageyama.

 

Kageyama shouted, looking back, still running. “KEEP IT!”

 

The boy grinned and started laughing, holding the jacket.

 

“YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ME OUT FOR A DATE FIRST!”

 

Kageyama burst out laughing and continued running, starting to feel overwhelmed, hard to breathe.

 

That was when he noticed a taxi on the road, waiting for the green light.

 

Kageyama’s eyes went round – he began to laugh.

 

_No way!_

 

Kageyama ran towards the car and sat in – exactly the moment when the red light turned green.

 

The taxi driver’s cigarette fell out of his mouth as he looked into the mirror, seeing Kageyama sitting on the back.

 

“ESTEBAN!” Kageyama shouted, panting and sweating all over the place. “FOLLOW THAT BRIDE!”

 

Esteban’s jaw was still down, but there might have been something in Kageyama’s voice, because he stomped on that pedal so hard, the car almost stalled.

 

Every car started to honk but Esteban did not care. “WHO ARE YOU?” He shouted, following the bride.

 

Kageyama tried to calm down his lungs, but he also was filled with adrenaline. So he shouted back,

 

“THE WEDDING MUST GO ON!”

 

Esteban slowly turned around with the most confused look ever. Then he pulled out another cigarette, which he put in his mouth.

 

He said slowly, but then again, shouting, “YOU LOOK FIFTEEN!” The cigarette almost fell out, again.

 

“NOT MY WEDDING, ESTEBAN!”

 

“MY NAME IS NOT–”

 

“WATCH THE ROAD!”

 

Esteban honked and then gave a finger to the driver. Kageyama’s eyes widened when the car in front of them stopped and pulled over.

 

The taxi driver’s jaw fell, the cigarette fell out again as he stepped on the break.

 

“Shit,” Kageyama and Esteban said simultaneously.

 

The man looked like a criminal – he had green lines. He had tattoos and was as tall as a mountain.

 

He looked angry.

 

_Way too angry._

 

Kageyama looked at the bride – he could still see her but not for long. He had no time for this.

 

_Well, I guess I gotta use the mafia boss card again._

 

“Esteban–”

 

“I’m not–”

 

“I got this.”

 

Esteban raised his eyebrows, completely skeptical. “Yeah right,” he said. “And my wife is Beyoncé.”

 

Kageyama grinned. “Knock on wood. You just watch _my_ bride, okay?”

 

Esteban’s eyes went round.

 

“So,” the tall man appeared next to the car, looking in the window, seemingly pissed off. “You really did not think this through, huh?”

 

“We’re in a hurry. Step aside,” Kageyama used his calm voice.

 

_The voice which he killed with._

 

Both Esteban and the tall man, froze. Esteban was still looking ahead, trying to not lose track of the bride.

 

The tall man finally looked at Kageyama. He paled.

 

“Who are you?” His voice wavered.

 

Kageyama’s smile was steel. “Let’s just say Mr. Yukiteru is a friend of mine.”

 

The tall man stepped back from the car and crossed himself and Esteban actually started choking on his own spit.

 

_And I still have no idea who Mr. Yukiteru is._

 

“I’m sorry,” the tall man said and then bowed. “It won’t happen again, sir.”

 

_Sir?_

 

Kageyama enjoyed this way too much. He tried not to grin, he only raised an eyebrow. “It better won’t,” Kageyama then looked at Esteban. “Let’s go, Esteban.”

 

Esteban started the car without a question and drove so quick it made Kageyama grin. The driver burst out laughing.

 

“Looks like my wife _is_ Beyoncé” Esteban laughed.

 

Kageyama chuckled and then noticed the bride, still running.

 

_Isn’t she tired?_

 

Why is she still running?

 

And then Kageyama noticed.

 

_Someone else was running after her too._

 

An older boy than he was, with copper colored hair, in a black suit. He had yellow lines.

 

Esteban looked out too. “What the–”

 

Kageyama rolled down the window and leaned out. “HEY!” he shouted. “HEY, YOU IN THE SUIT!”

 

He turned his head towards Kageyama. He looked as confused as Esteban did right now.

 

“WHAT?!” The boy in the suit shouted back.

 

“ARE YOU THE GROOM?” He shouted.

 

The boy looked shocked. “NO!” he yelled, still running. “IM TRYING TO GET HER BACK TO THE WEDDING! WHO ARE YOU?!”

 

He heard sirens behind them.

 

Esteban and Kageyama looked at each other.

 

_The police._

 

“HOW FAST ARE YOU GOING?” Kageyama shouted and looked back only to see a patrol car.

 

Esteban looked so done that he started to yell too, stepping on the gas pedal.

 

“DO YOU WANT TO YELL OR DO YOU WANT TO GET THE BRIDE?”

 

Kageyama couldn’t think straight – his mind was whirling – but once he had calmed down, he knew what to do.

 

He tried to yell through the sirens. “YOU IN THE SUIT! GET IN THE CAR!”

 

“WHAT?!” The boy in the suit yelled.

 

“WHAT?!” Esteban lost it.

 

Kageyama looked back again. “We got this,” he said, determined. “Slow down but only a little, he’s built, he does some sport, I can see it. He can catch up.”

 

Esteban looked so scared that Kageyama gave him a wide grin.

 

The taxi driver paled.

 

“You’re too confident,” he said but then slowed down a bit. “Be quick! They’re almost here!”

 

Kageyama opened his door while the car was going – it was pure luck that the road which they were on was next to the sidewalk.

 

“GET IN!” He shouted and the boy in the suit started to run faster – he caught Kageyama’s hand and got in without a question.

 

He shut the door and then Esteban began to drive faster.

 

That was when they heard more sirens.

 

_There were more police cars._

 

The boy in the suit gasped. “We’re gonna fucking die, and I can’t die before that wedding–”

 

Esteban looked up. “My lord I swear if I live this through, I’m gonna eat a cheeseburger.”

 

Kageyama saw the bride now. He looked at the stranger. “On the count of three,” he said. “We’ll pull her in, okay?”

 

Both of them whirled around to look at him.

 

“WHAT?!”

 

Kageyama shouted. “ONE,” he leaned towards the stranger, “TWO,” he opened the door, “AND THREE!”

 

They both grabbed her and pulled her in – she fell on their laps, her tiara was dropped on the floor – the stranger shut the door and adjusted the heels on her feet.

 

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” Esteban shouted and drove like a lunatic.

 

“No!” The girl began and tried to get out of Kageyama’s and the stranger’s hold. “No! I won’t go back–”

 

The sirens were going off like crazy.

 

“Damn, woman!” The boy in the suit began, he had an interesting haircut. “Look around, we’re getting chased by the police!”

 

Esteban whistled. “Fucking amen to that!”

 

“I don’t want to marry him!” She said miserably as Esteban took a wild turn – there was a loud noise, someone screamed.

 

“I DIDN’T HIT ANYONE DON’T WORRY!”

 

Kageyama looked back and saw three patrol cars. “Why don’t you want to marry him?” he asked calmly.

 

There was silence so he looked back.

 

Everyone was staring at him as if he was insane.

 

He frowned. “What?” he asked. “If all of us starts to yell, then we won’t get anywhere.”

 

Esteban nodded, “True that,” he said and took another turn – all three of them moved with the car, almost hitting the window with their faces.

 

“I just,” the bride began, “I just think he deserves someone better.”

 

The boy in the suit hit himself on the forehead.

 

“WHAT?!” Esteban yelled.

 

Kageyama was looking at her purple lines and stayed calm as he asked. “You can’t have something with him?”

 

Everyone turned at him – again – looking triggered. Especially the bride.

 

Kageyama frowned again.

 

“What–”

 

Esteban almost hit a pedestrian and everyone

 

began

 

to

 

scream.

 

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD–”

 

“FUCKING HELL!”

 

“ESTEBAN, YOU HAD ONE JOB!”

 

Esteban controlled the situation and he did it with an insane sound. “CHILL THE FUCK DOWN KIDS, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!”

 

The boy in the suit began to laugh like a maniac. “THAT’S WHAT MY FRIEND SAYS, AND EVERY SINGLE TIME, SOMETHING BLOWS UP!”

 

Both Kageyama and the bride looked at him.

 

The boy in the suit started to nod. “It’s true. It’s terrible but it’s true.”

 

The sirens were getting closer and closer.

 

“I can’t have children with him,” the bride said in a defeated voice.

 

Kageyama’s heart melted and he immediately tried to comfort her, giving her a half hug.

 

“He knows that though, doesn’t he?”

 

The bride nodded, tears were shining in her eyes.

 

“He knew and he still wanted to marry you,” Kageyama sighed, sounding gentle. “That wasn’t a random choice, he knew what he was doing, what he was asking. Believe me.”

 

The sirens were still going off.

 

Kageyama clicked his tongue.

 

_This would be so much better if they didn’t have these sirens on their freaking backs._

 

“You really think so?” The bride asked softly.

 

Kageyama, with a little smile, nodded.

 

“Look sweetheart,” started Esteban, driving wildly. “I think he would have been the one to run, if he hadn’t wanted this.”

 

The boy in the suit nodded. “Haru loves you,” he said. “You know he does, Erin.”

 

Erin smiled a little and began to cry a bit. “I messed up,” she whispered. Kageyama wiped her tears away. “Is it too late to come back?”

 

Kageyama looked at the boy in the suit, already trying to say something. But then–

 

“Erin, sweetheart,” Esteban began and turned the whole car around with one movement

 

facing

 

the

 

cops.

 

Kageyama’s grin widened. “Oh,”

 

“My,” Erin continued.

 

“God,” the stranger finished.

 

Esteban gave out a mad laugh. “I feel like I can do anything today,” he stepped on the gas pedal and began to drive towards the smallest shortcut – where he could get back to the church in the fastest way as possible.

 

“We’re gonna die,” the stranger began again.

 

“I can’t die today, it’s my wedding day,” Erin whispered, obviously panicking.

 

Kageyama just grinned. “Do it!”

 

And oh they screamed.

 

But

 

Esteban

 

did it.

 

He fit through and drove like a mad man and the cops couldn’t follow – they had bigger cars –, and Kageyama couldn’t believe what just happened.

 

“OH MY GOD!” Erin high–fived Esteban who was grinning like an idiot.

 

The stranger met Kageyama’s gaze.

 

And both of them just lost it.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“I love you so much,” Erin said to Esteban after getting out of the car in front of the church. “You’re gonna be at our Christmas party, no arguments.”

 

Esteban smiled. “Copy that,” he said and then boweda little. “And you never lose hope in your man, gotcha?”

 

Erin’s smile was as beautiful as a diamond. “Copy that,” she echoed. Then she turned towards Kageyama and she hugged him.

 

Kageyama smiled and hugged her back, careful not to touch her dress or her hair.

 

“Thank you,” she said with her heart. Her line turned into yellow, vanishing the purple. “It might sound crazy, but you made me think differently about myself and I am... so grateful.”

 

Kageyama’s smile was as gentle as the dawn.

 

“You’re going to be amazing,” he said and stepped back. “Now go,” he pointed at the church with his chin. “Make a big entrance, show the world how beautiful you are.”

 

Erin teared up but nodded. He smiled at the stranger guy and asked, “Are you coming?”

 

The stranger nodded. “In a minute,” he said and Erin started walking back to the church.

 

The boy in the suit looked at Kageyama and – without a single word – he hugged him.

 

Kageyama stiffened and he heard Esteban laugh in his car.

 

“Thank you,” the stranger said. “I don’t think I could’ve done that by myself.”

 

Kageyama hugged him back and patted him on the shoulder. “You were quite amazing yourself,” he said and then walked back, looking at him. “Never lose hope and believe in yourself.”

 

The stranger gave out a little smile and nodded. “What’s your name?”

 

“Kageyama Tobio,” he said. “Yours?”

 

The boy answered, “I’m Shirabu Kenjirou.”

 

Kageyama watched him go back to the church, waving with a soulful smile.

 

_My life is full, and better, and more._

 

It’s so much more than what it had been.

 

When Kageyama looked back, he saw Esteban with a curious look in his eyes.

 

He stared at him and asked, quietly, “Who are you?”

 

And Kageyama just smiled as he said,

 

“Someone who needs to finish his tea. Can you drop me off?”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“Thanks, Esteban,” Kageyama said as he got out and he already pulled out his wallet. “How much–”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Kageyama looked back and only stared. He couldn’t even move, his eyes widened.

 

Esteban was looking at him in silence, as if he was trying to figure out something. And then he smiled, “It’s on the house.”

 

Kageyama blinked. “But why? Thank you, but why?”

 

And Esteban only said,

 

“Because I gained more today. More than I could ever ask for, more than I could ever get.”

 

Kageyama couldn't help but ask, “What did you gain?”

 

Esteban looked away, a soft smile on his face.

 

“A little taste of what it means to be alive.”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama sat down and looked out of the same window. He saw confettis and roses, loud trumpets.

 

The wedding was a success.

 

“Did you catch her?” Kageyama heard a voice and when he looked back, he saw the same waiter he had been talking to earlier.

 

“I did,” he smiled.

 

The waiter placed a hot cup of tea on the table and then patted Kageyama’s shoulder. It was fruit tea, dark tea – the one he drank earlier but couldn’t finish.

 

Kageyama looked at him, surprised.

 

“You remembered,” he said.

 

The waiter chuckled, his line glowed yellow. “As if I could ever forget this day.”

 

_I saw so many yellow today._

 

Kageyama showed his soulful smile. Showed who he truly was, because he wasn't scared and there was nothing to hide anymore.

 

“What a day, huh?” he asked and raised the tea again. But this time

 

he felt an intense

 

neverending

 

joy.

 

_This is what matters._

 

He thought.

 

_This is what it means to love living._

 

Closing the day with joy.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama woke up to silence and he thought he could do anything.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: AM I THE ONLY ONE SCREAMING?


	10. Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know what to say I cried like a little shit. 
> 
> I, again, topped the previous chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> PS: someone needs to stop me very very soon.

**Chapter 10**

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Red**

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Jun, can I meet Tachibana today?” Kageyama asked quietly and gently. His hands were behind his back, waiting patiently.

 

She was shocked as she whirled around to look at Kageyama who only had a soft smile on his face.

 

_You’ve supported me during every choice I’ve had in my life._

 

Kageyama’s eyes changed, turning affectionate and his mom froze.

 

_I want to be there for you too._

 

And this time, for a single short minute, Kageyama imagined being someone like Hinata.

 

_“...You’ll earn your joy when you realize how hard it is to win...”_

 

Kageyama remembered all of the people he had met up to this point. Seung, Annie, Hiro, Gerard, Esteban, Ito, Akira, that man in the church, Tendou, Erin, Shirabu, that boy at the airport, that waiter at the coffee house.

 

_So many people fighting for a little joy everyday. And they don’t always win._

 

Kageyama believed in one thing, nevertheless.

 

He won the moment he forgave his mom. He won the moment he helped all of those people.

 

And then his mom suddenly smiled – her face lightened up with love.

 

And Kageyama never wanted another life, never wanted another chance.

 

_I won my joy the moment I decided to change._

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was in front of his door and he wasn’t nervous at all. He stopped being surprised – about the things he did nowadays, about how he acted and reacted to certain things, certain people.

 

_I can’t turn back to who I was before._

 

Kageyama doubted he wanted. He doubted he could.

 

_I doubt that I need to._

 

When the door opened, Kageyama stood there, petrified.

 

He stopped breathing.

 

“Kageyama,” Tachibana Akihito smiled. “Jun said you were coming – what’s wrong?”

 

_I can’t look away._

 

Tachibana was surrounded by bright, glowing lines–

 

_I can’t look away._

 

Kageyama met his second red.

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama had told himself that he wasn’t nervous.

 

_He certainly was now._

 

He was so nervous that he asked Tachibana where the bathroom was. He showed him and looked rather worried but Kageyama waved, saying he was okay.

 

After he got in the bathroom he washed his face with cold water and let it ran down on his skin.

 

He sighed aloud and closed his eyes and touched his face.

 

_Calm down, Tobio._

 

He tried to breathe – in and out, in and out.

 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

 

Kageyama literally jumped – he bit back his scream and looked at Mitsuko with wide eyes. The old woman gave a mischievous smile.

 

_That old grandma._

 

“My mom’s soon–to–be husband has red lines,” Kageyama whispered quickly, rather alarmed.

 

Mitsuko looked impressed. “Then she caught a good fish,” she simply said.

 

Kageyama gaped. “How – help me,” he stuttered. “What should I do?”

 

“You act like as if you haven’t even seen red before this,” Mitsuko gave him a kind smile. “You saw Hinata.”

 

Kageyama clicked his tongue. “That’s different, that’s Hinata, you know how he is – he is the most expressive person I’ve met. And Tachibana is–”

 

Mitsuko gave him a look. “Someone who has a unique soul and he chose your family.”

 

Kageyama couldn’t eve move not as much say anything back to that. He just... he didn’t know... he just–

 

“You don’t have to be scared,” Mitsuko whispered, laying a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll do okay.”

 

Kageyama looked into her green eyes and asked, “How do you know?”

 

Mitsuko only smiled.

 

“Because you’re you.”

 

And then, in the blink of an eye, she disappeared.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama had no idea how it happened.

 

The first thing he remembered was that Akihito gave him tea and then began to tell him about his week.

 

Which began like this:

 

“So I stuck in the elevator the other day, and while I was there, there was a woman named Hinami, who began to give birth–”

 

Kageyama spat out his tea.

 

And then Akihito showed him the most joyful smile ever. “I know right,” he started nodding. “Anyway, that was my first time seeing a baby come to this world,” he was smiling, looking at the ceiling as if he was remembering something very fond. “I fainted.”

 

Kageyama choked on his tea, laughing – and then coughing. Akihito patted his shoulder and gave him a glass of water.

 

_What was happening?_

 

“And then, _oh_ you’re not going to believe this,” Akihito was eating a cake. “I saw someone lost their engagement ring and I ran just to give it back to him – I arrived just in time,” he wiped his forehead, sweating. “But then, Kageyama, the girl thought I want to ask her partner–”

 

Kageyama choked on his biscuit.

 

He had no idea how it happened but he didn’t care –

 

He started laughing so loud. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. And when he wiped away his tears, smiling like an idiot – he finally noticed Akihito’s gentle smile. And that was when Kageyama realized–

 

_He talked about his week just to make me more comfortable._

 

Kageyama had no idea how it happened.

 

Next thing he knew that he began to ask questions:

 

“How did you know that you love mom?”

 

And Akihito answered with great care and patience with every each of them.

 

“I loved her the moment I met her. I am so helpless when it comes to basic things – things she is so perfect at. We complete each other.”

 

“What do you think about dad?”

 

Akihito grinned. “Well, we both know he once got me out of jail–”

 

“I still have no idea what happened, both of you just grin really weirdly whenever this comes up–”

 

“And well, we go to some hockey matches in every two months–”

 

“I am mortified. You two haven’t even asked me–”

 

“And he calls me every week, so I think he’s kinda like my brother–”

 

“Now that’s just absolutely selfish – both of you, leaving me out.”

 

There was silence.

 

And then both of them burst out laughing.

 

Kageyama had no idea how it happened but then they were eating more cookies, and then Akihito began to cook and Kageyama laughed way too much, his stomach began to hurt.

 

“And that’s how I realized I have never met the president,” Akihito finished while preparing ramen.

 

Kageyama was sitting on a stool, drinking his coffee. “And what did you do?” he asked, suddenly very intrigued.

 

Akihito shrugged. “I kept pretending I knew him and oh, boy, my associate were not happy,” he began to laugh. “He thought I had the president’s phone number. So whenever we fought he always told me, ‘ _What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be at a big party?’_ I was honestly too shocked, so I just replied, _‘Well, I should, but the helicopter isn’t here yet._ ”

 

Kageyama gasped, eyes wide. “You. did. not.”

 

Akihito had a devilish smile. “Yeah I did,” he looked way too amused. “Your dad actually lent me his helicopter just to show off.”

 

Kageyama’s jaw was sweeping the floor. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

Akihito laughed. “I went, _‘Masashi, are you out of your mind?’_ And then he went, with the most honest expression I have ever seen on somebody’s face, _‘I was bored._ ”

 

Kageyama snorted. “He’s always bored.”

 

Akihito finished cooking and gave him a beautiful looking bowl of ramen. “That’s because your grandpa is like a terminator.”

 

Kageyama waited for Akihito to sat in front of him with his own bowl. They broke their chopsticks, thanked the meal and began to eat.

 

Kageyama had no idea how it happened.

 

“That’s because he has too much free time,” Kageyama answered. “And he watched Star Wars way too many times.”

 

Akihito sighed, eating his egg. “He still thinks he’s Darth Vader?”

 

Kageyama chuckled and slurped the delicious noodles. “Sometimes he does this hand thing before he fires someone and looks so disappointed when nothing happens.”

 

Akihito smiled. “I’d tell you to bring him in for a talk but I only specialize in...” he drifted off and for once, his smile vanished.

 

Kageyama’s smile did too.

 

“Did someone die this week?” he asked hesitantly.

 

Akihito’s smile returned – a bit hesitant, a bit little. But it was there. “No,” he said quietly, looking at Kageyama. “Their treatment is going fine. It’s just...” he stopped, as if he had noticed who he was talking to.

 

Kageyama’s eyes were glued on his red, glowing lines. Akihito looked as special as Hinata did.

 

_Hinata glowed brighter._

 

But Akihito had more red lines. They were similar to light – glowing up the whole room.

 

“You can tell me,” Kageyama whispered. “I know I’m young and I didn’t want to talk before but now I’m here and you can talk to me.”

 

Akihito looked hesitant. His eyes then turned half–closed, his shoulders dropped, as if he lost something he had been carrying all this time.

 

_I just made a red feel better._

 

Kageyama forgot to breathe as he heard Akihito’s answer:

 

“It’s just hard to see so many sad hearts.”

 

He knew exactly why Akihito was red, why he was so human. He didn’t even understand why only now he noticed.

 

Akihito was a well known psychologist who only worked with suicidal people. His workplace was in New York, so he was only in Japan for once or twice a week to visit. He had a big smile, a bigger heart and his lines were glowing red.

 

_Humanity._

 

And Kageyama couldn’t help to say,

 

“And yet, after a while, you can see those hearts beat again with joy.”

 

And Akihito’s smile was so grateful that Kageyama felt chills ran down his spine.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“I don’t know why you visited me,” Akihito wondered, he pulled close Kageyama and hugged him. Kageyama stiffened. “But thank you, Tobio. This meant the world to me.”

 

He saw Akihito’s

 

line,

 

glowing

 

red

 

surrounding him as a fire.

 

_He has so much love and care to give._

 

Kageyama had no idea how it happened,

 

but–

 

“I think I keep you, Akihito,” Kageyama said quietly as he hugged his stepfather back. “Welcome to the family.”

 

Akihito’s laugh was free and filled with life, his hands were shaking. To Kageyama, it sounded like as if he had seen someone’s soul.

 

_Just give him a chance._

 

Kageyama hugged him tighter.

 

_Why haven’t I given you one earlier?_

 

Because you couldn’t see farther than your own belief.

 

_Maybe God really exists._

 

And then Kageyama suddenly heard Hiro’s words.

 

_“..I hope there is a God. I hope there is. Because even if he’s only half as good as you are, I still don’t think I have to worry anymore...”_

 

And he didn’t know why, but the pain in his chest suddenly became too unbearable, and he began to cry.

 

Akihito didn’t say a word. Kageyama leaned on his shoulder and let it all out. He cried silently, his tears were falling because–

 

He finally knew how Mitsuko meant.

 

_“...Because you’re you...”_

 

He cried because–

 

_I’m finally proud of who I am._

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

When Kageyama woke up, he noticed his lines.

 

It turned red, glowing around the room like and endless light, making his skin as if he was kissed by fire. There were tiny dots on his hair – scattering from the red lines – they glowed like stars. Kageyama's skin and black hair looked like the dawn, filled with the most glorious stars, along with shining embers from the deepest fire.

 

He blinked a couple of times and it turned back into white.

 

He gave out a gentle smile and thought–

 

_I am more than what I ever thought I could be._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: A PSYCHOLOGIST WHO WORKS IN New York AND WITH ONLY SUICIDAL PEOPLE --- ndnsnkjn what a COINCIDENCE :3333333333


	11. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had chills. 
> 
> PS: I'm in love in this part. It's not even funny anymore.
> 
> PPS: BTS – Light (listen to that for the last scene) CAUSE I DID AND MY SOUL FEELS SO LIGHT
> 
> PPS: I LOVE ALL OF YOU!! I ANSWER THE COMMENTS WHEN I HAVE TIME!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!

**Chapter 11**

 

 

 

 

 

**Blue**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama noticed that there was something wrong, the moment, Mitsuko appeared next to him, walking with her cane, with a heavy look in her eyes.

 

Kageyama halted in his steps and wanted to speak–

 

“You need to meet your second grey,” she said quietly, glancing away.

 

Kageyama turned worried, he grabbed her wrist before she could’ve disappear. “What is this – why are you–”

 

Mitsuko disappeared.

 

She did not look at him.

 

Kageyama was shaking.

 

_Not once._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama’s steps echoed in the street.

 

To others, it didn’t matter how he walked.

 

To others, Kageyama was simple teenager – someone who was young. But the clever ones noticed that there was something odd in him. The clever ones noticed how his eyes lingered on things, how patiently he talked to someone, how much curiosity he had while looking at anything.

 

Kageyama’s steps echoed in the street.

 

It was almost muffled – it blended in the other people’s footsteps.

 

_Or it tried._

 

Kageyama’s steps were calm. He was as calm as his old self was.

 

_Why?_

 

Because Kageyama felt like justice as he followed his grey,

 

and saw him kill.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

His grey was an adult. He killed four people so far in this warehouse, far from the city and Kageyama felt something cold, inside of his bones, _born_

 

and

 

 _move_.

 

Kageyama saw two people with blue lines – they were cornering the grey who also pointed a gun at them.

 

Kageyama, as quiet and calm as a snake, moved to one of the corpses on the floor and slowly took the gun out of the hand. He straightened his back and walked closer to those two blues, noticing the grey’s eyes widen because he had finally noticed Kageyama–

 

Kageyama pointed his gun at the grey.

 

The two blue looked back at him and Kageyama met his eyes.

 

_They surely part of the mafia._

 

“Move,” he told them with a cold voice. His white lines hovered above their blue, they dropped their gun and moved back from him. Kageyama felt that ugly disgust again. He said calmly, “Be thankful I don’t want to kill anymore.”

 

After the two blues were walking away – Kageyama felt the grey trying to pull the trigger, wanting to kill one of them.

 

Kageyama broke the grey’s hand with one quick movement and made him drop his own gun. Kageyama kicked him with the gun in the face so hard it made the grey _bleed_. The man spat his tooth on the floor and frowned, seizing Kageyama up.

 

“Who the fuck–”

 

_I've_

 

_had_

 

_enough._

 

Kageyama opened the man’s mouth with the gun and his hands were steady on the trigger.

 

He felt calm.

 

Even when the man in front of him paled like a ghost and felt such a dread that Kageyama would never feel.

 

“Did they kill someone from your family?” Kageyama asked, his mind as sharp as ever.

 

The grey nodded, eyes wide.

 

Kageyama’s eyes narrowed, looking thoughtful. “Then you’re doing this for revenge–”

 

And he suddenly knew.

 

Kageyama supposed to give him this day as a chance to kill all of them.

 

_That’s why Mitsuko didn’t even want to look at me._

 

Kageyama looked down at his lines. Pure, white, glowing lines. He thought about his power, how it sang beneath his veins like a choir.

 

He should accept it and be done with it. He should follow his order. He should follow the rules. He should obey Mitsuko.

 

But then again.

 

_Kageyama_

 

_was_

 

_a_

 

_terrifying_

 

_monster._

 

“I will make sure you rot in a cell with the other ones,” Kageyama whispered, his lines above his head, glowing like a crown. The grey’s knees almost gave in but Kageyama caught his throat and pulled out the gun from the man’s mouth – he moved it towards between his eyes. “You want to avenge your family? Your loved one? Your kid?” Kageyama’s voice was steel. “What does that make you?”

 

Kageyama

 

pulled

 

the

 

trigger.

 

The grey one winced violently, only to realize he was still alive. He opened his eyes and gaped at Kageyama. The grey’s eyes screamed, _Did you know?_

 

Kageyama cupped his face and looked into his eyes.

 

_Oh, I knew._

 

He knew, because he counted how many shots his earlier owner fired while he was hiding, watching the scene.

 

Kageyama’s eyes darkened. “See? You’re not even ready to die,” he said it with a little smile. The man in front of started to shake and sweat. The grey was crying.

 

_I won’t give this joy for you._

 

He grabbed the man’s jaw and bared his teeth. “You might as well be a blue,” he said through his teeth and let him go.

 

Kageyama’s steps were calm as he walked out of the warehouse,

 

stepping over corpses,

 

hearing the grey wailing.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama was walking on a road where only people walked and it felt nice in a way. Everyone glowed with yellow and purple and orange and it blinded him in ways he couldn’t even describe.

 

It was late at night but people were still lively and bright.

 

He walked close to the side, leaned close and touched the handrail. He looked forward and saw the thousands light of the city. Souls or skyscrapers? He didn't know anymore.

 

_They are beautiful._

 

After all that had happened to him, Kageyama still believed in people with all his heart.

 

He gave out a gentle voice and felt so whole.

 

_I am proud of who I am._

 

He closed his eyes.

 

_I am proud of what I chose today._

 

“Tobio.”

 

Kageyama’s popped open and he saw Mitsuko, standing next to him with tears in her eyes. She hugged him and Kageyama hugged her back immediately.

 

“You’re not angry?” Kageyama asked and smiled softly.

 

Mitsuko’s white lines felt like family, for a moment. Kageyama felt her shoulders shake.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” Mitsuko said with a shaking voice. “I would have never – what you did today – I’m,” she took a deep breath, “Your soul is so beautiful.”

 

Kageyama froze but then he felt so free, so enormous, he smiled into her hair. “Thank you, you old grandma.”

 

Mitsuko laughed and then, as Kageyama blinked, she vanished.

 

_Your soul is so beautiful._

 

And, after all the days he had lived, Kageyama finally realized how to believe in better days.

 

Not just to live the better days–

 

_But to believe in them._

 

Kageyama looked down and saw cars, driving on the road. Their lights were as colorful as the city, as the souls he walked amongst day by day.

 

“Kageyama Tobio?”

 

He turned back to look where the voice had come from. The boy had grey lines, they were in a braid, but that wasn’t Kageyama’s work.

 

_Mitsuko gave him a time loop._

 

And then, only then, he noticed who he was looking at.

 

Time slowed down then. It felt like as if those hundreds of souls stopped, and yet still glowed and existed.

 

It felt like that when Kageyama said,

 

“Ushijima?”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I AM SCREAMING
> 
> I HAVE BEEN
> 
> WAITING
> 
> FOR 
> 
> THIS
> 
> SCENE
> 
> SINCE
> 
> PART
> 
> 1


	12. Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, my adorable–evils!!! Here's a new chapter!!!
> 
> PS: We're close to the end.
> 
> PPS: I've been waiting for this chapter since part 1. This is my second fav chapter.

 

**Chapter 12**

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Gold**

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama was standing before an actual legend. A real life, breathing, legend. And before he knew it–

 

They both pointed at the other simultaneously, screaming:

 

“You’re one of the best aces in the country!”

 

“You were in jail with Tendou!”

 

_What?!_

 

“WHAT?!” They shouted at the same time.

 

He didn’t care that everyone was looking at them, Kageyama lost his mind because there

 

was

 

no

 

way–

 

_“...This was one of the best nights of my life,” Tendou grinned at him while they were walking down the street. “Can’t wait to tell this to my best friend...”_

 

Kageyama gasped, still pointing at Ushijima. “You’re Tendou’s best friend?”

 

Ushijima, without another single word, walked towards him, grabbed him by his shoulders, and pulled him in for a hug and Kageyama

 

almost

 

fainted.

 

“We finally ran into each other, time loop buddy,” Ushijima laughed.

 

Kageyama froze, he wanted to step back from the hug, because–

 

_He can’t know about his–_

 

“Relax,” Ushijima continued. “Tendou remembered you and told me.”

 

And Kageyama stopped breathing.

 

Because for the love of god, he finally figured it out.

 

Tendou’s line was bronze.

 

_Bronze._

 

The only bronze he had ever seen.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

They were walking in the city afterwards and Kageyama, listening to Ushijima, realized one thing.

 

“So you’re really saying that after the incident, Tendou went back to that store and stole the deodorant every single time, just to stop that killer?”

 

Ushijima grinned and started shaking his head. “I’d lie, if I said that was his only reason. He’s not a saint, he’s the biggest idiot in the world – he wanted to see whether you show up or not.”

 

Kageyama broke into a smile. “Really?” he wondered. “We almost met when you and him talked to Akira.”

 

Ushijima’s eyes shone with recognition. “You’re the guy she was talking about earlier.”

 

Kageyama’s smile was so wide. “That was really something else.”

 

_I can’t believe how easily I can talk to Ushijima._

 

“You should have seen Tendou at the wedding,” Ushijima patted Kageyama’s shoulder as they were walking. “He looked so shocked when Shirabu told him who helped him catch the bride.”

 

Kageyama stopped breathing.

 

_No way._

 

But then he remembered Akira’s words.

 

_“...He said that they needed to stop a wedding but I better be at home after they were done...”_

 

Ushijima burst out laughing and pointed at Kageyama’s face. “Yes, just like that.”

 

_I wonder how many times fate laughed, when she saw me._

 

Maybe fate really loved him. Of course she did.

 

He smiled.

 

_I was here for a reason after all._

 

The city glowed with the lights of souls. Kageyama, surprisingly, didn't pay attention to them tonight. For some reason, he couldn’t help but feel human next to Ushijima.

 

_I wonder why I don’t care about souls when I listen to him talk._

 

What was so special about Ushijima Wakatoshi?

 

“I’ve never thought we would meet,” Ushijima spoke with a voice full of wonder as he was staring at the starry sky above them. “I think this is another good thing my time loop gave me.”

 

Kageyama forgot to breathe.

 

“You like being in a time loop?” He had to ask, remembering Hiro.

 

The city shone with thousands of colors, like a stained glass in a church. And then Ushijima began to talk, with the voice of a preacher who saw God and never turned away.

 

“People think they have time when they don’t.”

 

Kageyama suddenly noticed how high Ushijima’s grey lines were. It was higher than his, it reached the clouds and brightened up the sky, like a floating skyscraper filled with stars.

 

Looking at him, Kageyama realized something that made his soul pause and listen.

 

“I’ve been living the same day,” Ushijima continued, still looking at the sky, still walking without looking ahead.

 

_As if he was sure he was heading towards the right direction._

 

As if Ushijima had faith in himself. He had so much faith that Kageyama was afraid to look away.

 

“I’ve been living the same day and I realized something,” he continued. Kageyama heard nothing except him. “They are rushing, Kageyama. They think like this: I have tomorrow to do those things, I have tomorrow to check those papers, I have tomorrow to visit my family, I have tomorrow to meet my friend, I have tomorrow to propose,” Ushijima blinked and looked back to Kageyama. His eyes were almost as old as his, deep green, the grey lines reflecting in the iris.

 

Ushijima told him one simple sentence.

 

One that sent shivers down on Kageyama’s arms because for a moment, he forgot that Ushijima was human.

 

Because he said,

 

“But some of us have only today and you never know.”

 

Looking at him, Kageyama realized something that made his soul pause and listen.

 

He realized that Ushijima’s old soul might have been gold. Filled with sadness and regret.

 

He realized that at one point in his life, Ushijima changed so much, that his soul wanted a second chance at life. So it turned grey.

 

Looking at him, Kageyama realized–

 

_That Ushijima was the closest person who knew what it meant to be alive._

 

“And what happened to you?” Ushijima asked, crossing his arms.

 

Kageyama blinked and wanted to speak about all of what happened to him from the beginning to the end, completely trusting Ushijima.

 

Only that, no words came out of his mouth.

 

He tried it again.

 

As if he had no voice. As if he had born without one.

 

_I can’t tell him. I’m not capable of talking to him about my power or my time loop._

 

Kageyama had a patient smile on his face.

 

_No wonder._

 

His and Mitsuko’s existence had to stay as a secret. Hell would be unleashed, if it was revealed.

 

Kageyama, instead of the truth, he decided to tell the half truth.

 

“I needed to change,” he said wholeheartedly. “My teammates treated me as if I was just dirt on their shoes.”

 

Ushijima stared. “Then they weren't good people, not to mention teammates.”

 

Kageyama only noticed how much he wanted to hear these words when someone had finally said it.

 

“It wasn’t my fault?” He asked, breathless.

 

_Because yes, Hinata defended him._

 

But no one actually said, personally to him, that he–

 

Ushijima looked at him. One of the most honest and genuine gaze Kageyama had ever seen.

 

“No one deserves to be treated like that.”

 

And that was when they noticed that they were standing in front of a bar. There was a sign.

 

_‘Day and Minutes’_

 

And as Kageyama looked inside, the first thing he saw was a man filled with tattoos. Especially two, on both sides of his neck.

 

_Lord let them see you in me._

 

_Lord let me see you in them._

 

And Kageyama knew Fate loved him. She loved him so much that Kageyama ran inside, just to make sure–

 

Yes.

 

The man looked at him.

 

_Yes, I’m sure._

 

This was the stranger who he met at the church.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“I helped a lot of people, Ushijima,” Kageyama said, eating his pork cutlet bowl, sitting on the stool. “I changed into someone else. Someone I would never see myself to meet, or simply running into, through a crowd.”

 

Ushijima smiled a little. “I’ve always felt like a stranger in my skin,” he seemed thoughtful, staring at him. “You know what I noticed?”

 

Kageyama’s mouth was filled with food, so he just shook his head, listening.

 

Ushijima, simply said, “You look like someone who fell in love with life.”

 

_I did._

 

Kageyama swallowed and waited a couple of minutes. He was captivated with this bar, with how the boss was Park – who he had met at the right place, at the right time.

 

Kageyama was captivated by life.

 

_And I would never have it any other way._

 

“It was hard for me to realize that,” Kageyama said quietly and looked away. Even if the bar was filled with noise, even if all the others were talking. “It was hard to see how broken I had been,” he slowly shook his head, closing his eyes. “I sometimes wonder what will happen after my time loop ends. Should I live the same? Should I just try to continue where I left off with some of the things? Would that be better–”

 

“Do everything you had done. Do them again on your last day.”

 

Kageyama’s eyes snapped open.

 

But Ushijima didn’t stop his voice, didn’t stop his soul. “I think we will feel when it’s our last day. Our last chance to do something more, something better,” he smiled, truly believing so. “You need to realize we won’t have time either, after we get out of this situation. You need to live your life the way you want to – the way you really long to.”

 

And Kageyama’s soul was flying. “Why?” he asked, because he wanted to have as much faith as Ushijima had.

 

Ushijima slightly shrugged. “Because you might wake up and notice you’re someone you’re not.”

 

_I had to know._

 

“And?”

 

Ushijima leaned back on his chair. “And you have one day to show the world who you really are.”

 

One last day.

 

_I had to know._

 

“And who I am?”

 

Ushijima fell silent. He was looking at him, a quiet, nostalgic smile. “I have no idea. I’ve never met someone like you.”

 

_I had to know._

 

“Someone like who?”

 

He didn’t even hesitate. “Someone who is this terrifyingly real.”

 

_I had to know._

 

“But what if the real me will be too much for them? What if I have to stop being me and act like nothing happened?”

 

_I had to know if it’s okay to be me._

 

And Ushijima tilted his head in wonder, as he said in a feather light voice,

 

“It’s time to remember what it feels like to be alive. So don’t stop.”

 

Even after Kageyama wake up, Ushijima’s words rang in his ears, like a choir.

 

_So don’t stop._

 

 

 

 ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima is really the love of my life. 
> 
> His heart is so big and I can't wait for his part.


	13. Bronze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried so much. 
> 
> I love you guys. This part is just too much.

**Chapter 13**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Bronze**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama loved being himself.

 

He loved being himself so much, that wherever his feet carried him, he felt as if he was walking on clouds. There was no coming back from that. Why would he need to come back from that?

 

It was another weight on his soul. But a weight he could carry around without feeling any pain, without feeling any struggle.

 

_I wonder if this means I’ll forget what pain can do._

 

Maybe not forget. He was human after all, too.

 

But Kageyama couldn’t get this thought out of his head nowadays. This one kept coming back, like an annoying, yet endearing song.

 

One little, innocent thought;

 

_I forgot how it felt being lonely._

 

And it didn’t vanish the feel of pain.

 

_But it did vanish anything else that made my heart beat with sorrow day by day._

 

And god–

 

Wasn’t that enough?

 

And for the first time, Kageyama knew, really knew, what he wanted for the rest of his life.

 

_Meetings with inspiring beings._

 

Because the most important things in life were never things.

 

_They never were._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“Say, Park,” Kageyama was looking at him in the eyes with a little smile on his face. “What would you say to me, if you met me at a church at seven in the morning?”

 

Park didn’t even bat an eye as he answered, “What the fuck are you doing here.”

 

Kageyama beamed and tried to contain his laughter, almost failing miserably. The bar wasn’t filled with people – although, Kageyama shouldn’t be surprised. This place was wonderful but it missed something.

 

Something he couldn’t quite define. He decided to ask on it.

 

“Don’t you think there’s something missing here?”

 

Park shrugged and looked around, looking like a cop who’s trying to find the snitch. He even squinted. “Other than my permission to sell all these fucking tacos,” he didn’t even blink, “I think nothing is missing.”

 

Kageyama glanced around, squinting as well. Now, they both looked just simply angry. “I swear there’s something missing, I could bet Tendou’s deodorant mania on it.”

 

Park looked at him funny. “Who the fuck is Tendou?”

 

“I heard my name.”

 

Kageyama jumped out of his fucking seat – and then whirled around just to find himself face to face with–

 

_There’s no way._

 

Tendou grinned at him, showing his teeth and joy. “Missed me, huh?”

 

And Kageyama just burst out laughing because there was no way, and yet with Tendou, there would always be.

 

He rushed to him and pulled him in for a strong hug. “Yeah,” Kageyama said, smiling, looking like life itself. “I missed you.”

 

And Tendou hugged him just as much. “Good to see you normally. Like, you know, not in jail.”

 

“Kageyama, you’ve been in jail?” Park asked in the background.

 

Tendou pretended to be deaf, as it seemed, because he did not stop. “Ah, good old times. Remember when we robbed that store together. Our first crime, what a night that was–”

 

“Kageyama, you’ve robbed a store with him?” Park, yet again, asked as if he was only talking about the weather.

 

Tendou was still going.

 

“It feels like as if it was yesterday–

 

Kageyama laughed and leaned out of the hug to look at Park. “It _was_ yesterday in a way.”

 

Park didn’t seem amused. “At least you kids having fun.”

 

Tendou chuckled. “And you’re not having fun?”

 

Park gave him a look. “I would, if I had a cello,” he said. “I really fucking want a cello, I just can’t afford to buy one yet. Not soon anyway.”

 

Tendou whistled. “Not enough money, eh?”

 

Kageyama lightly hit him on the head and Tendou almost fell over a barstool. Kageyama clicked his tongue. “You drama freak, I didn't even hit that hard.”

 

Tendou was caressing his nape as he tried to stand back. “I think you’re underestimate yourself.”

 

“Well, you had to be rude.”

 

“Well damn.”

 

“No I don’t,” Park continued, looking at them weirdly but still seemingly not giving a fuck. “Not enough people, not enough money.”

 

Kageyama sat down at the counter, Tendou doing the same. “Maybe you should get new food or drinks.”

 

Tendou snorted. “I don’t think that’s the issue,” he looked around. “But it does seem like as if something’s missing.”

 

“Right?!” Kageyama and Park asked simultaneously.

 

Tendou was still looking around, but then suddenly stopped, shrugging. “No idea,” he said.

 

The door opened and a little group walked in. Park immediately left them and walked towards the group to give them what they needed. He wore a light smile and his tattoos could be seen again.

 

_Why did he want a religious tattoo?_

 

“Wakatoshi said you might be here,” Kageyama turned to look at Tendou, hearing him talk. The red head smiled. “He’s always right – he keeps telling me he has his hunches.”

 

Kageyama remembered Ushijima’s grey lines. They were high – higher than a skyscraper, lighter than the clouds above their heads.

 

_I would not be surprised if Ushijima was blessed by luck or fate in any means._

 

“So you remembered his time loop, huh?” Kageyama asked, quite intrigued.

 

Tendou glanced away, the smile still on his face. The golden lamps above his head shone on his red hair, his bronze lines were glowing. Just like little embers, little sparks in a fire.

 

_I wonder if Tendou knows how special he is._

 

The only bronze he had ever seen.

 

“At first I thought it was just a joke,” Tendou began explaining. “I thought Wakatoshi was shitting me, getting me back for what I did the other day. But I realize that wasn’t the case,” his smile vanished, his eyes darted down. Kageyama had never seen him this serious before. “It was scary to see him change so much, in those few days. It makes you feel like as if you’re stuck and he’s moving on,” he then smiled again, slowly and gently. “But then he grabbed my hand and decided to drag me with him. And suddenly, even with a day that only repeated itself, I felt like time had finally began to move forward.”

 

_I wonder if Tendou knows how special he is._

 

Kageyama wondered if Tendou knew, how much he had done on the day they met.

 

“I really hated time loops, this was one of the reasons why,” he continued and looked at Kageyama. “But then I met you.”

 

_I wonder if Tendou knows._

 

“I met you under an awesome circumstance, and that was the first time when I thought that time loops might no be that bad at all,” Tendou chuckled and patted Kageyama’s shoulders. “You’ve changed a lot since then. You look happy, more whole.”

 

_I wonder if Tendou knows._

 

And Kageyama decided to tell him.

 

“Can I tell you something?” Kageyama elbowed on the counter and leaned closer. Tendou looked curious. “I’ve lived more than anyone in these past days. I know you know that I killed.”

 

Tendou didn’t even flinch, he just nodded. “I had an idea,” he said, looking thoughtful. “You held that gun too steadily against that man in that store. I stopped you, though.”

 

Kageyama’s eyes darkened. “You did, Tendou,” he said quietly. “You’re the only one who knows what I did and almost did, and you only met me that day, and yet you did it anyway.”

 

_I wonder if Tendou knows._

 

And looking at him, eyes widening in surprise, Kageyama realized he didn’t. So he continued in a voice full of peace and joy,

 

“I have lived more than anyone has or ever will – and out of all of the days I have lived, our meeting is still my favorite.”

 

Tendou was silent and stunned and still as bright as he had ever been. “Why?”

 

And Kageyama told him and Tendou teared up. The red head hugged him and Kageyama smiled.

 

_I wonder if Tendou ever tells someone what I told him._

 

Maybe one day. One day he will.

 

Kageyama was watching the boy leaving the bar, with a big wave. His second meeting with Tendou, as Kageyama being himself. Being his true self.

 

He couldn't help but smile.

 

Park was cleaning the counter with a yellow stripped rag. Kageyama noticed all of his tattoos and remembered Akira’s too;

 

_I keep looking for something._

 

He subconsciously touched his wrist, feeling his veins and white lines like stars on his skin. And before he knew it, he asked, “Why would you chose those two sentences on your neck?”

 

Park dropped the rag over his shoulder and only stared at Kageyama for a couple of minutes. The adult man caressed his religious tattoos on both sides of his neck. Kageyama patiently waited, not moving his own hands from his own skin.

 

“I believe in fate and destiny,” Park said in a quiet yet confident tone. “I want to see good in people – I want to see potential,” he looked up, “just as God does in us.”

 

_Lord let them see you in me._

 

_Lord let me see you in them._

 

Kageyama felt his stars on his skin blend into his white lines. And maybe, maybe his soul really went to the sky in that infinite moment.

 

“You know what I would say, if I met you at the church at seven in the morning?” Kageyama asked quietly.

 

Park sighed, obviously waiting for a not so hilarious joke. “What?”

 

But Kageyama just stared at him. The same stare Park gave him earlier.

 

_Lord let them see you in me._

 

_Lord let me see you in them._

 

“I’d say that everyone had a reason to be there,” Kageyama glanced down, a quiet smile on his face.

 

“And then?” Park’s voice had a curious tone.

 

And Kageyama remembered Akira’s tattoo as well. These two people were night and day and yet somehow both of them made Kageyama’s life so much more than what it had been.

 

_I keep looking for something._

 

And before he knew it, he repeated Park’s words.

 

“Then I’d say, that my reason for being there, is that to believe I could run into people like you.”

 

And looking back, that was the only moment when Kageyama made Park speechless.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––**

 

 

When Kageyama woke up he finally realized that this was the twelfth day.

 

And tomorrow–

 

_Tomorrow he will finally reach midnight._

 

It was interesting because he had never thought about it why midnight. But then he should have.

 

_I was born at midnight._

 

And tomorrow he will born again – born into who he really was.

 

_I am allowed to live my life._

 

Kageyama stroked his white lines.

 

_I am allowed to live the life I really long to have._

 

“So don’t stop,” Kageyama whispered Ushijima’s words as an oath. Maybe it was.

 

Maybe, to Kageyama, it really was.

 

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“You always end up here.”

 

Kageyama looked at Mitsuko with a gentle smile. She sat down on the bench next to him, putting her cane on her lap. The little wind danced with her grey hair that was in a braid that looked like a rose on her nape.

 

Shibuya was as colorful as it always were – and Seung’s voice and his guitar was still as soul lifting as ever.

 

Maybe that’s why Kageyama kept coming back. To relive the moment when he was surrounded by souls, changing like Northern lights in the centre of mountains.

 

“I killed to save my grandson from a man who didn’t know how to use a gun.”

 

Kageyama turned to look at her, his eyes filled with shock and pain and empathy. Such a deep understanding. Only two of them could have this, feel this.

 

Two monsters on this world, who could see saints and sinners everywhere.

 

And yet both killed to protect, both killed to be better.

 

_Saviors. Monsters._

 

Does it really matter, Kageyama thought.

 

_At the end of the day, we’re only human._

 

“I killed for him, and I got this power, and I would never undo it,” Mitsuko looked at him. Her eyes glowing green – and Kageyama

 

froze.

 

_Green_.

 

“Who is your grandson?” Kageyama whispered but he somehow knew already because– “You’ve never told me your family name, Mitsuko, who is your grandson?”

 

_Green eyes._

 

And Mitsuko had a soft smile as she said, “My name is Ushijima Mitsuko.”

 

_“...It’s time to remember what it feels like to be alive. So don’t stop...”_

 

And of course. It made the perfect sense.

 

_Green._

 

They had the same eyes. And Ushijima’s lines were as high as the sky itself – so much faith and soul in one person.

 

If course he was Mitsuko’s grandson.

 

“Then why did you give him a time loop?” Kageyama asked quietly after the shock ran out of his veins.

 

Mitsuko looked away, slowly, up to the dark sky. The glowing city, wind blowing her grey hair. Her white lines shone around her.

 

She looked like a painting.

 

“Because he was born for more. More to get in this life, more to feel in this life,” she said. “So I decided to give him a time loop. So that he can be himself, so that he can learn how to find himself.”

 

Kageyama had a bad feeling, his chest clenched with pain. “Why now? Why not later?”

 

And Mitsuko said, “Because I can’t do it later. All I have are these thirteen days.”

 

His heart stopped beating.

 

_“... I give you thirteen days and after that it will be all yours and I can finally move on...”_

 

Mitsuko said this and only now Kageyama remembered.

 

And Kageyama was a quick thinker. A clever mind with a strong soul.

 

“You’ll lose your powers after tomorrow,” he whispered, his voice shaking.

 

_Lose it._

 

_But not just this._

 

_Not_

 

_just_

 

_this._

 

“I will lose all of my memories about it,” Mitsuko continued in a soft voice. “Including you.”

 

It felt quiet. The world felt quiet to Kageyama’s ears. As a nice slow piano in a world filled with people who never talked, never saw or notice things.

 

And only Kageyama heard that sound.

 

Only he noticed the music.

 

“I killed so many people, so many killers,” Mitsuko spoke, her voice like a lullaby to Kageyama’s piano.”And after tomorrow, I will forget them all.”

 

Kageyama couldn’t find his voice. He leaned his head into his hands, buried his face and listened to his piano.

 

“And still, I’d never change a single thing, Tobio. Never, because I’ve got to meet you this way.”

 

Kageyama remembered all of her words, all of her praises. She knew she was going to forget him. She knew.

 

_So she wanted to tell me all of it before it was too late._

 

“I’m so proud of who you became, of who you really are. Your mind and your soul is just out of this world, and the way you’re thinking is surprising and gentle and I’ve lived a lifetime but only recently realized what it really means to love life.”

 

Kageyama felt gentle hands on his. Mitsuko slowly put his hands down and pressed her forehead against his, cupping his cheek with a small smile.

 

Kageyama only then realized that he was crying.

 

“Thank you, Tobio,” Mitsuko said in a strong voice. “Thank you for making me see.”

 

Kageyama shut down his eyes and bit his bottom lip. “How can you be so calm?” he asked, silently letting his tears roll down on his cheek.

 

Mitsuko’s voice was familiar, like a shelter, someone powerful he could always turn to.

 

_Not anymore._

 

“Because I know you’re going to be fine.”

 

Kageyama was shaking. “How?”

 

Mitsuko pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Because you feel like someone who could walk this world alone without feeling any fear.”

 

And Kageyama broke, hugged Mitsuko and never wanted to let go. He was too scared to let go the person who understood him the most – the only one who knew what he really was made of.

 

Kageyama didn’t want to be the only one who could hear the piano in this world.

 

Kageyama didn’t want her to go.

 

“I need to tell you a couple of things, because we won’t have the time for it tomorrow, please try to listen,” she said, not letting him go. “There aren’t any rules in time loops. The individual will get out of the time loop if they get to a point where their soul changes so much that the braid will loosen and can get undone or you decide to get it undone. As to how they get to that point? It can be anything. Even if they make their own rules to get out of the time loop, it doesn’t matter. They can’t get out, if they won’t change. The other thing is that they need to be at the place where the problem is. Where the reason of the time loop is. And last but not least, you can’t cheat Death. If someone died and you’re in a time loop, you can save them, but you can’t change the act of it. You can only change the outcome. Death has to happen in mind but it doesn’t necessarily need to happen as an act. Do you understand?”

 

Kageyama nodded, still clinging into her. Mitsuko chuckled and caressed Kageyama’s hair, like a proud grandma.

 

Kageyama heard her soft voice. “My only regret is that I couldn't pet a dog. I’ve been wanting a dog for awhile. Animals don’t like us, they can feel we killed. Maybe after I lose the power, they will allow it.”

 

Kageyama remembered that fluffy cat. Remembered how weird the animals acted around him in all his life. Maybe they knew he was different.

 

They knew before he did.

 

And Kageyama knew Mitsuko won’t die, only forget him, but he had to know, so he spoke the first time in awhile,

 

“I wonder where we’ll go after all of this. Heaven? Hell?”

 

Mitsuko didn’t stop caressing his head. “I don’t know things for certainty. All I wish, that eventually, we would end up somewhere without regrets.”

 

Kageyama smiled. “You know what’s funny? I’ve grown to learn that you’re always right.”

 

Mitsuko’s voice had a warm tone. “So?”

 

Kageyama leaned back to look at her eyes. “So I believe you with all my heart,” he smiled even while his tears were falling down.

 

Mitsuko gently wiped his tears away. “You look sad.”

 

“Because you’ll forget.”

 

“Can I do something for you?”

 

And Kageyama only whispered. “A hug would be nice.”

 

Mitsuko hugged him and Kageyama heard his piano. It didn’t sound pained anymore, it had a soft tone.

 

Like Mitsuko’s cane.

 

“Thank you for showing me who I am,” Kageyama said and only then he felt Mitsuko’s tears.

 

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama woke up on his last day. The tears in his eyes were still there.

 

He knew after tomorrow he will be all alone.

 

But it was okay.

 

_I am_

 

_not_

 

_afraid_

 

_to_

 

_walk_

 

_this_

 

_world_

 

_alone._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I honestly think you guys will lose your shit xdddd after this chapter.


	14. 1 Hour Before Midnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well hello my adorable–evils!! we're FINALLY HERE ON KAGS LAST TIME LOOP DAY!!
> 
> PS: after this we're gonna get his POV from Part 1 "Don't Make Me Walk When I Want To Fly."
> 
> LOVE ALL OF YOU

**Chapter 14**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**1 Hour Before Midnight**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_So don’t stop._

 

Kageyama rushed towards to his mom and without another word, hugged her with all of his heart.

 

Ushijima’s words echoed in his mind.

 

_“...Do everything you had done. Do them again on your last day...”_

 

Before she could open her mouth, Kageyama whispered, pressing a kiss onto her forehead;

 

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting not loving you every day in my life.”

 

His mom snuggled into his chest and smiled and cried and Kageyama kissed her hair and said, “I love you, mom. Please forgive me.”

 

And she hugged him stronger, painting the whole house orange, glowing like the dawn.

 

“Only if you forgive me. I love you too, Tobio.”

 

And Kageyama felt his heart sigh, because it finally arrived home. It arrived where it was meant to be.

 

_“...I think we will feel when it’s our last day. Our last chance to do something more, something better,” Ushijima smiled, truly believing so. “You need to realize we won’t have time either, after we get out of this situation. You need to live your life the way you want to – the way you really long to...”_

 

And Kageyama believed in himself just as Ushijima did.

 

_So don’t stop._

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was rushing, running in the streets with a phone over his ear. His father picked up.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Dad, I love you so much.”

 

Kageyama heard something break at the other side. His grandpa began to shout. “I love you too,” his father said in a soft tone. “Your mom called me already.”

 

Kageyama grinned. “She did, huh?” he was still running. He suddenly remembered what his dad told him in one of his yesterdays.

 

_“... My miracle? I found it the moment you were born...”_

 

A miracle who was born at midnight.

 

Kageyama couldn’t help but smile.

 

_I have a reason to be here._

 

His dad laughed. “She did,” he said. Kageyama could hear him smile. “I’m proud of you. I heard you’re going to Akihito.”

 

Kageyama laughed as he knocked on the door. “I’m already here, you slow, old man. The Sunday’s grill party is still on?”

 

And Akihito opened the door and Kageyama just said, with a grin full of joy.

 

“Do you want to join us on the Sunday’s grill party?”

 

And

 

Akihito

 

smiled like the sun itself.

 

_Like his red glowing lines, full of humanity._

 

And Kageyama couldn’t wait. He pulled his stepfather into a big hug, whose laugh echoed through the streets.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama saw the little girl in the park and he introduced himself to Annie again. When her father came closer, Kageyama put him back to his place and made sure he peed into his pants.

 

He hugged the little girl and kissed her lines – and saw her whole black line paint itself to orange.

 

Kageyama was stronger than before.

 

He healed Annie.

 

He healed her entirely.

 

The girl laughed – as if she knew why Kageyama was so shocked. She pressed kiss onto his temple and Kageyama thought about what Ushijima told him.

 

_“...You look like who fell in love with life...”_

 

He did.

 

_I really did._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“The fuck is this?”

 

Kageyama looked at the phone in shock. “Tendou, what the hell?”

 

_Who picks up their phone like that?_

 

“Ah, Kageyama,” Tendou’s voice completely changed. “What an interesting turn of events.”

 

“You knew I would call you.”

 

Tendou fell silent. “I mean, I was sure, but like, not entirely–”

 

Kageyama clicked his tongue. “What does that even mean?”

 

“Why the hell are you calling me? How did you even get my number?”

 

Kageyama, yet again, looked at the phone in shock. “You gave it to me!”

 

“Why are you yelling?” Tendou asked calmly.

 

Kageyama shut down his eyes and sighed, trying to calm down. “I heard from Ushijima that you are friends with the police.”

 

He could literally hear Tendou grin. “Hmm, kinda have a not so related uncle there, why?”

 

“Are you talking about Fred, Tendou?”

 

“Shut up and tell me what you want. I’m busy.”

 

Kageyama had to bite back his laugh. “Oh really? With what?”

 

“Wakatoshi and I are buying a cello to Park.”

 

Kageyama smiled. “Is he there then?” and then he began to think. “Wha– wait a minute. Why are you buying a cello to Pa–”

 

“Kageyama?” He heard Ushijima’s voice in the phone. “What’s the matter?”

 

Kageyama felt relived the moment he heard Ushijima’s voice. “I want you guys to do me a favor.”

 

“Anything, sure,” Ushijima said. He heard a loud noise in the background. Ushijima fell silent and then, “Tendou, did you just really drop it?”

 

Kageyama burst out laughing.

 

Tendou was mumbling something and then there was a lot of shouting–

 

“Kageyama, sorry to say this but you have to be quick, we have a situation at hand.”

 

_You don’t say._

 

“I want Tendou to call the police to this three different locations. He should call them a little bit earlier than the time I will give to you. Can you guys do that?”

 

“Of course, tell me I write them down.”

 

Kageyama gave him three locations.

 

The one with the grey, at the mafia.

 

The one with the store, where Tendou did the deodorant incident. He might do that this time too.

 

And the psychopath in that alley, who Kageyama killed on his first day.

 

“We’re on it,” Ushijima said and just as he was about to hang up, Kageyama heard Tendou shout into the phone.

 

“KAGEYAMA!” He shouted and he was just as loud as he would be on speaker. “I JUST REMEMBERED – I LOOKED AT THIS CELLO AND SUDDENLY REALIZED WHAT HAS BEEN MISSING IN PARK’S BAR!”

 

And Kageyama

 

suddenly

 

couldn’t move.

 

_Oh my god._

 

And he shouted with Tendou, simultaneously:

 

“MUSIC!”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“I was going to tell them a thing or two myself, too,” Kageyama heard Hinata.

 

He turned around and decided to just do it all over again. Their first meeting, the same way is it happened.

 

_That was already perfect they way it was._

 

Because in that moment, he was himself.

 

_Hinata saw me as me._

 

And even if he had to act all of their first meeting again, word by word, Kageyama never thought this could be more real.

 

And when the match ended, Kageyama prayed to someone up there, with a gentle smile on his face.

 

_Let me meet him again_.

 

And Kageyama knew Fate loved him.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

The moment Kageyama noticed the bride running out of the church, he broke into the most intense run he had ever felt.

 

He heard the people’s cheering, he heard the little kids awe, he threw his jacket to the boy who walked next to him and he noticed Esteban.

 

He hopped in that taxi and had the biggest smile on his face as he saw Esteban’s cigarette fall out of his mouth.

 

And Kageyama shouted, completely in love with life,

 

“ESTEBAN! FOLLOW THAT BRIDE!”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama was running and when he saw Seung he gave him the biggest grin he ever had on his face.

 

He threw all his money into his guitar case, talked a bit to Seung and then said,

 

“Would you like to show your talent?”

 

And Seung just hugged him, right there and then.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was running all day and yet he never felt more alive. When he noticed the piano, and saw Gerard sitting on the stool, he clasped his hands and said,

 

“Would you like to play in a bar?”

 

And the old man began to cry and Kageyama hugged him.

And Gerard said, “You’re a miracle.”

 

Kageyama’s heart stopped, his smile soft on his face.

 

_“...You’re a miracle, Tobio...”_

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama stepped in Park’s bar with Gerard and saw Seung there and Ushijima, with a great and beautiful cello in his hand–

 

Park turned around and he must have known what Kageyama did, because he walked to him and pulled him into a hug.

 

_I received and gave so many hugs today._

 

It felt too much – especially how he only knew loneliness. He was only familiar with that, since he was born.

 

But Kageyama met so many inspiring people, they gave him love and vanished his void.

 

_I received and gave so many hugs today_

 

It would have been enough for a lifetime.

 

And Kageyama was so gone for life, so gone for these lively days.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was running with Ito towards the taxi. And when Esteban noticed him, his cigarette fell out of his mouth again.

 

“So that’s why you said, see you later,” he said, completely in shock. “Who the hell are you?”

 

But Kageyama just smiled.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was watching Ito leave to catch his flight, as he was sitting at the table.

 

The older boy with black hair and blue eyes looked at him and froze. Kageyama wanted to know him.

 

He smiled. “What’s your name?”

 

He was the one who asked him this time.

 

The boy answered, “Sora.”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was in the hospital, desperately looking for Hiro for he sensed the little boy broke out of his time loop. Completely alone, he didn’t even need Kageyama’s help. He searched and searched but he didn’t find him.

 

_Maybe he was transferred._

 

But Kageyama knew better.

 

_He died._

 

Kageyama sat down at the waiting room, with pure hands, the lamp above his head was blinking, sometimes lightening the whole room, sometimes darkening it at once.

 

He never felt so devastated.

 

“Ending it the same way as it started, right, Tobio?”

 

Kageyama looked up to see Mitsuko standing before him, quietly smiling. And despite all the good he had done this day, despite how everyone loved him and that he wasn’t alone anymore, despite all his happiness about being himself–

 

He never felt so devastated before.

 

His lips began to tremble and Mitsuko walked closer to him, and caressed his face, his hair.

 

“I never said it’s gonna be simple or easy. I only said you were strong,” Mitsuko said. “I feel like I’ve known you for hundred years.”

 

Kageyama hugged her. “How can life ever make sense after something like this?” he whispered. “I should be happy, I am whole, I am not alone, I have done so much and yet–”

 

_I’m not okay._

 

_I want to have more days._

 

Kageyama began to cry.

 

_I want to have more days._

 

Mitsuko stepped away and Kageyama let her go.

 

_I’m not ready to move on._

 

“I love you, Tobio,” Mitsuko said with a little smile. “You’re like the family I never had. Please, never feel you’re not enough. You’re stronger than all of them.”

 

Kageyama’s eyes went round. “Don’t leave me alone.”

 

Mitsuko bowed in front of him. Just like she did when they met. As if Kageyama deserved all the respect in world.

 

_“... Your soul is so beautiful...”_

 

Mitsuko only said, before she walked away, leaving him to wait an hour,

 

“Be yourself and believe in life.”

 

And when the clock struck midnight, Kageyama heard the words like an echo.

 

_If you once again reach midnight, you’ll be free of the time loop._

 

And yet, burying his face into his hands, Kageyama never felt this caged.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: lol, you guys thought this will have a happy ending??
> 
> PPS:
> 
> I cried so much.


	15. Savior: 04:45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His my adorable–evils!!! I missed you all so much. I've been working so that's why chapter were off. But I'm here again!! Next one will arrive on 21st, cause after that work has ended by now. 
> 
> AND OMG ALL THE COMMENTS!! ARE MY HEART!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
> 
> PS: I've been waiting for this since chapter 1. Finally ya'll see what really happened.

**Chapter 15**

 

 

 

 

 

**Savior:**

 

 

 

 

**04:45**

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama was running so fast he felt his lungs wanting to burst like an eternal fire.

 

The color of the street’s lamps shone on the road below the dark night sky filled with stars, Kageyama felt like as if he was stepping on heaven as his feet carried him towards Hinata’s house.

 

He didn't mean to go that far – he didn't mean to hit him.

 

Just imagining what Kageyama did made him want to throw up. He said those things to Hinata.

 

_Hinata._

 

Hinata who was everything to him. Who pushed his old teammates away, who made countless of his days just by giving him a smile, who always made sure that he never played alone during a game–

 

Hinata.

 

_I hurt Hinata._

 

Kageyama felt his sight go blurry, he narrowed his eyes and tried to run faster because–

 

_I didn’t mean to._

 

Their fight made him realize just how unique Hinata was, with his red lines and brave heart with a free soul, wings attached to it.

 

It reminded Kageyama how he would never be enough, standing next to him.

 

And Hinata said he had wanted to try something new, something which he didn’t need Kageyama’s help with.

 

_He didn’t need me._

 

He never did.

 

It’s been always Kageyama.

 

He was the one who needed Hinata’s help. Not the other way around.

 

His breathing was too loud for his ears, he hadn’t run this fast, hadn’t been so full with adrenalin since he killed that man a year ago.

 

He only knew one thing; he had to catch Hinata to apologize, to make sure he understands, to show him that they can change and do better just–

 

_Just don’t walk out of my life._

 

Kageyama’s throat closed off as he held back his desperation.

 

_Just don’t walk away._

 

Kageyama saw.

 

He

 

froze.

 

The sound of his legs, slowing down and then starting to walk again was the only thing he heard this time. He swore he wasn’t breathing.

 

He swore because he did not hear or see anything else just Hinata lying on the ground with broken limbs, bleeding –

 

still

 

_blinking._

 

“Hinata,” Kageyama heard his own voice, like a whisper. He moved but fell down, stumbling in his feet, “Hinata,” his eyes widened as he crawled close to Hinata’s curled body–

 

 _He looks so small_.

 

Kageyama touched Hinata’s chest, seeing the blood. He looked down to his legs, seeing the bones sticking out, Kageyama swallowed and tried to stay calm as he looked back up into Hinata’s eyes.

 

His ginger hair was covered in sweat and blood and dirt – it fell into his eyes. He was still blinking–

 

Kageyama heard something, he leaned close to Hinata and heard him

 

 _whimper_.

 

Kageyama’s blood ran cold.

 

He

 

was

 

in

 

pain.

 

_He was in pain, he was in pain, he was in pain–_

 

Kageyama tried to come back from the shock, he tried to remain calm. Everything was going to be fine, it was fine.

 

_I just need to give you a day._

 

“It’s fine,” Kageyama whispered to Hinata with widened eyes. He looked at his red lines and Kageyama brought two into his hand and one white from his own and began to braid.

 

It slipped out of his hands.

 

Kageyama stopped breathing.

 

He slowly pulled two glowing red lines from Hinata, one white from himself, and tried to braid again.

 

It ran down between his fingers like water.

 

“It’s fine,” Kageyama said calmly as he tried to do it again, not noticing how the panic started to dwell inside of his ribcage, how his heart felt dead, or how–

 

_How I know I can’t give time loops to anyone who isn’t grey._

 

“It’s fine,” Kageyama was desperately trying to braid. “ _It’s fine_ ,” he was shouting now, his voice cracked and he was breathing unevenly, “ _It’s fine_ ,” his hands began to shake while their lines slipped away.

 

“Kageyama.”

 

He

 

looked

 

at

 

Hinata.

 

His brown eyes began to turn unfocused and lose their shine. Kageyama took a sharp breath through his nose.

 

All of the red slipped out of his hands.

 

Hinata’s soul

 

slipped

 

out

 

of

 

his

 

hands.

 

“Hinata,” Kageyama whispered leaning down, his voice was filled with panic. He touched Hinata’s cheek and noticed how Hinata’s soul began to fade away.

 

_No._

 

Kageyama couldn’t see anymore, he felt tears in his eyes, rolling down on his cheek because he could save him, he could give him more, so much more–

 

_And_

 

_yet_

 

_I’m_

 

_not_

 

_God._

 

He was just a human.

 

“ _I hurt you_ ,” Kageyama whimpered and shut down his eyes, the cold wind brushed his skin, letting him feel that he was the one who was still alive and Hinata had nothing anymore.

 

_I hurt him._

 

That was their last conversation.

 

_I will never know what would have happened if I had not–_

 

And Kageyama

 

broke.

 

_I shouldn’t have let you leave._

 

Kageyama slipped his mouth into a thin line and pressed his forehead against Hinata’s, their noses touching, he felt his tears drop on Hinata’s skin. The sob inside of his soul was shaking his body, he was too deaf to hear his own pain.

 

A soft, small voice close to his ears spoke, like a sunshine in rain, slow like an endless song.

 

“I don’t want to leave without an apology.”

 

And Kageyama

 

saw

 

the opportunity.

 

He saw it like he saw everything.

 

He leaned back and triggered his power, called out to it – leaving his pain, burying it inside. He pushed that last thought with his white lines and changed Hinata’s soul

 

into

 

grey.

 

_A second chance._

 

The red vanished and grey glowed like the clouds of heaven. Hinata screamed in pain and Kageyama narrowed his eyes, calm and collected,

 

and

 

began

 

to

 

braid.

 

_I will save you._

 

Kageyama knew his power screamed inside of his veins too. This was forbidden, he could feel, this was not normal. He could only do this because Hinata spoke his last wish. Still, his powers screamed.

 

This will have consequences.

 

But even then, his last thought before he realized what he had done to Hinata’s soul was;

 

_Just don’t walk out of my life._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama’s eyes snapped open as he heard Hinata woke up behind him in his own bed. They were back at the training camp.

 

_It was yesterday._

 

His

 

heart

 

stopped.

 

“Hinata?” Suga spoke quietly and Kageyama could not move. “Are you okay?”

 

_He’s not okay. He just died._

 

“I am,” Kageyama began to cry when he heard Hinata’s voice again. “Thank you for your concern but everything’s okay. Just had a weird dream.”

 

_It wasn’t a dream. It happened. It’s real._

 

And yet Kageyama could not make a sound.

 

He looked at his white lines and realized what he had done.

 

_I violently tore his soul and changed it._

 

And yet Kageyama could not speak and not move to tell this to Hinata.

 

His powers were screaming in his head and Kageyama, as he curled up and began to cry, remembered.

 

_This will have consequences._

 

He held his head between his hands and silently cried. Mitsuko would be ashamed. He already heard her voice, ringing with sadness and disappointment.

 

_What did you do to him?_

 

Kageyama was disgusted with himself. He wanted to be the one who had that car crashed into him.

 

_What did you do to him?_

 

Kageyama hid and covered his ears as he heard Mitsuko’s voice inside of his mind.

 

_You monster._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: Im hurting pls don't kill me.


	16. 11:00 and Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii my adorable–evils!!! We're finally here!!! ANOTHER FINALE YA'LL AND THIS WILL BLOW YOUR MINDS!! DAMN.
> 
> I loved Part 3. It was an amazing journey and thank you for all of you!!! Who stayed and read this story and will CONTINUE READIG BECAUSE 
> 
> PART 4 IS COMING!! WHICH IS USHI'S TIME LOOP
> 
> AND THEN PART 5 WHICH IS THE PARTY IN DETAILED!! AND THE AFTERMATH OF THE PARTY!!!
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos, bookmarks, hits and comments!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS!!!! I'm so happy you love this story as much as I do!!!
> 
> PS: Heavily recommend listening to the ost of the new Makoto Shinkai movie called 'Weathering with you' because it perfectly fits for THE EVERY TOMORROWS SERIES!! I listened to it while I was writing this finale which is insane!! I cried so much.
> 
> Kags definitely stays the best and my fav character of all time.
> 
> PS:
> 
> Playlist: https://play.soundsgood.co/playlist/every-tomorrows
> 
> NOW SHOUTOUT TO EVERYONE WHO MADE MY DAYS BETTER AND DESERVE ALL THE WORLD:
> 
>  
> 
> Aingeeal, mah VIP: The first one who commented to the first part of this story. I love you. I can't thank you enough. Love you angel.
> 
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> 
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> 
> Yookane: You always support me and was never angry about changed which means a lot!! Love you my friend!!!
> 
> Kihoeko: The only one who knew Iwaushi was coming!!! Love you so much my friend, thank you for still going strong and following my story.
> 
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> 
> Yama_02: Your comments are always a joy to read, always bring out the best of me and makes my day. Thank you for still being here. Thank you for still reading. Love you.
> 
> AngryHades: Still here, still commenting all the time. My heart hugged your heart bam. Thank you.
> 
> AnimeVampire: BRO, YOU FEEL LIKE A FAMILY TO ME!! ALWAYS HERE TO SCREAM AT ME WHAT IVE DONE BECAUSE OF THE ANGST!! Thank you and love you!!
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> 
> Ukai: Your comments are MY LIFE!! THEY ARE SO FUNNY!! I LOVE THEM!!
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> Laet_lyre: Thank you for still following this story and I hope I'll see you at part 4, too!! love ya.
> 
> SabaTobiuo: THANK YOU FOR JOINING THE FAMILY!! LOVED YOUR COMMENTS
> 
> kuraamaki: the fact what you said that I am talented and that you think this story is really well written means the world to me. Thank you!!
> 
> BubblesAndStars: Still here and still giving me beautiful comments. "This just makes me fall in life too" that comment of yours is just heartwarming.
> 
> kmehdeh: still here and still commenting!! Lots of love and hugs and while you fell in love with the series and the concept, I love you as much!!
> 
> Taylor Hendricks: Taylor, what can I say? You're still very dear to me. Thank you, lots of love.
> 
> Yushiiiii: Thank you for commenting on chapter 4, that long comments is everything
> 
> Jazmaniac: so GOOD TO SEE YOU HERE AS WELL??? HOW ARE YOU?? LOVE YOU MY HEART.
> 
> AsterSeed: Thank you for saying you liked Iwaushi back then and still continued this series and comment!! Lots of love!!
> 
> Versattal: "You really are giving a test of what means to be alive" this comment, I won't ever forget it. Love you and thank you.
> 
> Thank you for everyone else too! I only mentioned the ones who have been here since the beginning and alway comment since day 1 but I love all of you AND I LOVE YOUR SUPPORT AND YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this finale as much as I did!!

**Chapter 16**

 

 

 

 

 

**11:00**

 

 

 

 

**and**

 

 

 

 

**Tomorrow**

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kageyama did not sleep. He was awake the whole time. The tears were dry on his face, his black hair reached his eyes as he focused on his white lines dancing around his wrists.

 

He stayed silent while he heard Hinata wake up. He didn’t move while Hinata put on his shoes and headed out for a run.

 

But the moment he heard the door closing he looked towards the sleeping Tsukishima. The bronze color of his lines were glowing lazily around his body lying on the futon.

 

Kageyama narrowed his eyes.

 

_That might be a problem._

 

Kageyama tried to remember how and when he had started this day – what he did and when he did it.

 

He needed to do this perfectly. He felt he couldn’t say no to this – he felt his power screamed inside his mind:

 

_Do everything in the exact same way._

 

His power screamed.

 

_What you did is forbidden. Bear the consequences._

 

Kageyama wondered what would happen if he disobeyed. He, for he was curious, decided to get out of bed earlier than he did yesterday and felt

 

something

 

break.

 

He bit back his scream, lied back and looked down at his arm, seeing how one white line was broken off from the rest.

 

He felt bile, a cold dread crawling up inside of his throat–

 

_What you did is forbidden._

 

Kageyama tore a soul and changed it into another color, violently forcing a person to be another one.

 

Kageyama destroyed someone’s soul and put something else back. But it was not someone’s.

 

_Hinata’s._

 

Kageyama curled up and shut his eyes.

 

_I had to._

 

He begged the same way he did when he killed that psychopath. When he sat at the waiting room in a hospital, with red painted hands.

 

_I had to._

 

But even if he did kill that psychopath, even if he did save Hinata–

 

_Can I get forgiveness in the end?_

 

Maybe for the first, he could.

 

Kageyama frowned in pain and tried to slow down his heartbeat, quiet it down.

 

_Maybe for the first, I could._

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama did not believe when he saw Tsukishima going to the kitchen to make coffee the same time he did yesterday.

 

_What was he playing at?_

 

Tsukishima had bronze lines. He knew exactly what this was. He knew this day had already happened.

 

_So then why? Why are you going along with this?_

 

Kageyama went to the bathroom and washed his face with cold water, vanishing his tears, vanishing the redness of his eyes.

 

He looked into the mirror and blinked.

 

_Can I get forgiveness in the end?_

 

Kageyama saw the water run down on his chin, on his neck. He leaned down, close to the washbasin and let the water get into his hair, cooling him down, trying to clear out his head.

 

_Hinata can change the outcome._

 

Kageyama thought, still not moving.

 

_The death happened in mind, didn’t need to happen in act. He can figure it out._

 

He needed to.

 

Kageyama couldn’t talk about any of these things. Maybe he could talk about Hinata’s time loop to Hinata – he did that with Ushijima–

 

_What you did is forbidden._

 

His power screamed and Kageyama felt a sharp pain close to his wrist as he leaned out of the washbasin. The water running down on his face, dropping on the floor.

 

That was when he realized.

 

_I can’t talk about anything with Hinata._

 

His eyes widened, completely horrified.

 

_I can’t let him know that I know._

 

His power screamed.

 

_Bear_

 

_the_

 

_consequences._

 

Kageyama felt anger burst inside as he sharply took a turn and quickly walked out of the room, passing the kitchen, towards the gym.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was surrounded by colorful souls and he had grown to love being able to see souls but now all he wanted was to be blind.

 

There weren’t any red.

 

And now–

 

_It won’t ever be._

 

Because Kageyama knew Hinata will never be red again. Maybe after some time his soul could change into any other color.

 

But never red.

 

_I tore that part completely._

 

He flinched and closed his eyes. Would Mitsuko have done something else? She would have saved them, right? Like he did.

 

Right?

 

_You monster._

 

Kageyama flinched again, hearing her voice and slowly opened his eyes, keeping his gaze at the floor.

 

_I wish I could ask._

 

His heart fell, the pain felt unbearable for a moment. Kageyama was still not over Mitsuko. He lost someone who felt like a family.

 

He lost the only person who know his real self. Who knew all of it.

 

Who knew everything about him and still said he had a beautiful soul.

 

_Even now, Mitsuko?_

 

Kageyama wanted to scream.

 

_Even now?_

 

Kageyama suddenly felt someone’s eyes on him, and when he opened his own ones, and turned, he saw Tsukishima staring at him with a thoughtful look.

 

Kageyama tried not to panic. “What?” He played his old self role.

 

Tsukishima didn’t even react, he seemed deep in thought. “You’re weird,” Tsukishima murmured. “You and Hinata are the only ones who are acting weird.”

 

Kageyama pulled his best act. He frowned, trying to appear confused. “I think you’re the one being weird.”

 

_Please figure it out, please figure it out, please figure it out–_

 

“Hmm,” Tsukishima looked away, convinced. “Maybe you’re right.”

 

_Damn, Tsukishima._

 

Kageyama knew he couldn’t talk about time loops with anyone – not with people who had no idea, but only with people who knew already.

 

_Once Tsukishima figures it out, we can talk._

 

Maybe he could even try to help Hinata.

 

_Because it seems, I can’t talk about anything with him._

 

Kageyama looked over to see Hinata stretch in one of the corners, completely focused on the task.

 

Kageyama took a hesitant step forward.

 

_I still want to help._

 

He stopped in front of the ginger haired boy and saw Hinata look up and froze.

 

And suddenly

 

everthing

 

fell

 

apart.

 

Hinata’s breathing became uneven, short and long, sharp and quiet – he gasped and fell to his knees, crying and turning pale–

 

 _No_.

 

Kageyama touched his hand, kneeled down and pulled him close, hugged him with everything he had, trying Hinata to stop struggling. The others ran towards them, surrounded them, panicking, brining water and towels, calling for the coaches–

 

Hinata cried

 

He cried the moment he saw Kageyama.

 

_You monster._

 

Kageyama couldn't argue or make any excuses anymore.

 

_Can I get forgiveness in the end?_

 

He looked down at Hinata, shivering and crying.

 

And this time it wasn’t Mitsuko who answered.

 

It was him.

 

 _No_.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama watched Tsukishima going after Hinata the moment they lost their practice match. He had a quiet smile on his face.

 

_Yes._

 

Kageyama felt calm for the first time today.

 

_Help him._

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

During the bus ride, Kageyama noticed that Hinata wasn’t sitting next to him. Well, he couldn’t blame him.

 

_In his mind, our fight is still relevant._

 

Kageyama suddenly realized.

 

_I can’t even apologize._

 

Not yet anyway.

 

He sighed and decided to look around, enjoying the colors on the bus.

 

Suga’s orange for the whole team, always painting the room like a cloud on the sky.

 

Daichi’s and Ennoshita’s purple, his dream to bring the best out of the team.

 

Asahi’s and Nishinoya’s yellow, filled with hope and joy, as bright as Kinoshita’s and Narita’s.

 

Yamaguchi’s purple, his longing to get better. Ukai’s and Takeda sensei’s purple, believing to achieve more.

 

Kiyoko’s and Yachi’s orange, the love to support and help everyone.

 

Kageyama stopped to stare at the sleeping Tanaka.

 

_Black._

 

This, to this day, always made him flinch whenever he looked at it. Tanaka’s lines only recently changed into this. Kageyama wanted to talk to him about it, maybe after the practice matches were over.

 

_It’s not really dark so his senpai wasn’t suicidal._

 

Kageyama knew how _that_ looked like. He saw Akira’s.

 

Kageyama stopped breathing.

 

_I saw Oikawa’s._

 

Kageyama still remembered what happened couple of days ago, one of the mornings. He decided to leave his house earlier than usual and saw Oikawa and Iwaizumi walk at the streets. He saw the darkest black he had ever laid his eyes on.

 

It was the most disturbing thing he had ever witnessed.

 

And it was Oikawa’s.

 

Kageyama hated him.

 

Hated everything in him, because after all these years he was still not as good as he was – because after all these years Oikawa had never apologized. Because after all these year Oikawa still was the same person who was the worst, who didn’t lift a finger to help, who laughed at people who were trying their bests, who took things for granted and never tried to be better, to be more.

 

Kageyama hated him with everything he had.

 

But when he saw his soul, which screamed pain and hopelessness, in that moment, in that one single moment–

 

_I forgave you._

 

Just like that.

 

He felt such a deep sorrow, and hopelessness he had never felt towards anyone.

 

_Because you can’t see._

 

_You really can’t see when someone needs help._

 

And then Kageyama saw Iwaizumi – who had the brightest grey he had ever seen after Ushijima.

 

_A grey._

 

And Kageyama had a feeling, seeing Oikawa’s lines, that it was only a matter of time. His lines were worse than Akira’s.

 

_I knew he would do it soon._

 

And no matter how indifferent Oikawa was towards Kageyama – he still remembered the boy he had watched while he served. Kageyama still remembered when Oikawa had hope.

 

Without noticing, Kageyama started to braid Iwaizumi’s lines. By the time he was done, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were long gone. He made the time loop to only trigger if Oikawa killed himself.

 

_I gave Iwaizumi too much on his shoulders to weigh._

 

And yet Kageyama only thought about one single thing, looking at the horizon that morning, watching the path they were walking on;

 

_Save him, Iwaizumi. You’re the only one who can._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Hinata wouldn’t even look at him, as they were standing in the gym. In all honesty, Kageyama had no idea why he wanted to talk to Hinata–

 

_Oh, you do._

 

_You don’t want to see him go away._

 

Kageyama tried to fight back his tears.

 

_You don’t want to let him go._

 

“What’s up with you today?” Kageyama asked, acting his old self. No anger, no pressure, only curiosity was in his voice.

 

_I don’t want to scare you._

 

Hinata didn’t want to look at him – he couldn’t make himself to look into his eyes. Kageyama felt this like a punch in the gut.

 

_Who would want to look at a monster?_

 

“I had a nightmare,” Hinata admitted.“I’m going to be better tomorrow.”

 

_Please don’t lie._

 

Kageyama felt his throat close–

 

_Please don’t lie._

 

“You don’t look fine to me,” Kageyama said slowly and then folded his arms in front of his chest. Hinata followed the whole movement with his eyes because he has been constantly gazing a hole on Kageyama’s chest. _Look at me, Hinata._ “You had a panic attack.”

 

_Look at me._

 

Hinata blinked and tried to hide his shaking hands.

 

“Maybe I’m tired,” Hinata answered, still not looking up. “Even I can get tired you know. I’m human–”

 

“Look at me.”

 

Hinata didn’t. His heart started beating so fast, Kageyama had a weird sense of thought that he could hear it too.

 

“No,” Hinata whispered, his voice started to shake.

 

“ _Hinata_.”

 

Hinata flinched and pressed his lips into a thin line, and then with a storm in his heart, he raised his chin and looked into Kageyama’s eyes.

 

He forgot to breathe.

 

_Even when you have a new soul, Hinata._

 

Kageyama’s heart beat fast as he stared into his brown eyes, looking gold because of the lamps above them.

 

_Even then you seem braver than anyone else._

 

Kageyama blinked, coming back from the trance and said quietly, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

_Tell me so that I can help._

 

_Tell me so that I can talk to you._

 

Hinata didn’t blink.

 

“If I couldn’t possibly win, would you still toss to me?”

 

Hinata’s words felt cold. Kageyama’s blue eyes widened in surprise.

 

_Still going on about the fight? That’s what he’s been thinking about?_

 

He made a pause before he asked back,

 

“Not even one match?” He asked.

 

Hinata shook his head. “Not even one.”

 

_Why was this important? Why are you reminding me why I–_

 

He tried to calm down and shrugged. “That’s not gonna happen, so it doesn’t matter what I say.”

 

_Leave it that._

 

_Please._

 

_Leave it that._

 

_Don’t remind me how I held you while you were suffering in pain, don’t remind me about what I’ve done._

 

Hinata’s eyes began to tear up as he took a deep breath. “Tell me, Kageyama,” his voice was shaking with rage. He almost spat his next words. “Do you care about me at all?”

 

_No, please don’t cry, Hinata, please, is this still about the fight, about volleyball?_

 

“Of course I do,” Kageyama rushed to speak. “We make a good team, we can score a lot of points–”

 

Hinata shook his head – a tear escaped from his eye and rolled down on cheek, close to his nose. “What if I couldn’t play volleyball?” He’s voice were full of despair. Shaking body, shaking voice, shaking storms – that was how he stood in that gym, facing Kageyama. “What if I get injured?” Kageyama’s eyes were widening more and more. “What if something happens to me and I’ll never be able to play again? What if I–”

 

Hinata took a deep breath.

 

_What are you saying, Hinata, you won’t die._

 

_Hinata._

 

_You_

 

_won’t_

 

_die._

 

Kageyama furrowed his brows – confused, scared, surprised. He reached out to touch his hands – to touch his grey lines, trying to hush him down, but Hinata took a step back.

 

Something

 

died

 

in

 

Kageyama.

 

He felt terrified as he slowly began to pull back his arm. “Why do you ask this things?” His voice was soft, too quiet.

 

Hinata lips trembled. He silently cried.

 

And then

 

he

 

burst.

 

“Does my opinion ever matter to you?” Hinata shouted at him. “Do you even respect me? Would you respect me if I said that I wouldn’t want to hit your quicks? Because I wanted to do something different?” Hinata’s eyes were glowing with anger. “Would you respect my decision? Would you even care about why I decided to do this?”

 

Kageyama couldn’t even move and he felt the calmness took over his body. The anger felt too quiet for now, but it grew and grew because–

 

_Why do you keep reminding me what I’ve done._

 

He wanted to cover his ears.

 

_Why do you keep mentioning our fight – why do you keep living in the past, why do you want me to remember_

 

_your_

 

_corpse_

 

_as_

 

_you_

 

_bleed_

 

_out?_

 

“What about you?” Kageyama tried to hide the anger and pain out of his voice. “Do you respect me? Respect my decisions and opinions? Do you care about me?”

 

_You don’t care._

 

_If you cared, you would notice that I don’t want to talk about this._

 

“Of course I do,” he breathed out. “I’ve always had.”

 

_Please don’t lie._

 

Kageyama seemed to forget to breathe. And so did Hinata.

 

_Please don’t lie._

 

Kageyama felt his anger, like a fuel in gasoline. “Would you respect me if I said I wouldn’t toss to you in order to win? Would you respect my decision?”

 

The truth was that this wasn’t what Kageyama wanted to ask. Not really.

 

_Can I get forgiveness in the end?_

 

He wanted to scream.

 

_Can you forgive me for what I’ve done to you?_

 

Hinata raised his arms to hug himself. “You’re twisting my words,” Hinata whispered out of anger, through his teeth. “You’re making me–”

 

“Do you think this was easy for me?”

 

_Do you think it was easy to save you? Easy to break your soul?_

 

_Easy_

_to_

 

_do_

 

_something_

 

_I cannot_

 

_undo?_

 

Hinata winced when Kageyama began to shout. He hugged himself even tighter.

 

“Do you think it’s easy to be here?” Kageyama asked, pointing at himself, at his chest. His voice wavered. _Do you think it’s easy to destroy that person’s soul, who showed me what it meant to stand up for myself?_ “I’m so used to being alone, making my decisions on my own, not depending on anyone else but me because I had no _one_!”

 

_I had no one before you. Only Mitsuko. Only she knew who I was._

 

Kageyama was shaking, his eyes widened.

 

_And I lost her._

 

Hinata’s eyes went round.

 

_If you go too, I’ll be all alone._

 

“I had no one to talk to, no one to cooperate with me during matches, no one who was able to spike my tosses, no one who trusted me or respected,” Kageyama enumerated, holding up his fingers. “Do you think this is easy? Having this many reliable, kind people around me who trust me? Who really want me to do my job? To do what _I’m good at_?”

 

_Do you think it’s easy to see so many souls and not break the minute I feel something’s wrong?_

 

_Do you think it’s easy to pretend I'm my old self, because I’m afraid of what people would think, if I showed it?_

 

Kageyama wanted to laugh.

 

_Ushijima would be ashamed._

 

His voice cracked and Hinata shut down his eyes. “You have no idea how much I want to win with them. You have no idea how much I want to help them to make it to nationals.”

 

_You have no idea how much I want to forget the horrors I see every day by helping people who need it._

 

_You have no idea._

 

Hinata furrowed his brows and wiped his tears with his forearm and then let out a deep breath. It was silent for a couple of minutes.

 

He then finally whispered to Kageyama,

 

“I wouldn’t care about anyone winning as long as I have you toss to me, trust me and count on me to get stronger to a point where we could win.”

 

_Don’t keep reminding me._

 

_Don’t keep mentioning this fight._

 

_Let_

 

_me_

 

_forget._

 

Kageyama’s mind was so messy and pained and shattered, that when he answered, he did not think it through. “This is currently not enough for me.”

 

_Just let me forget what I’ve done._

 

_Just_

 

_let_

 

_me_

 

_forget_

 

_your_

 

_scream_

 

_when_

 

_I_

 

_tore_

 

_your_

 

_soul._

 

The moment Hinata ran out of the gym, Kageyama did not follow. He fell down, curled up and shut down his eyes.

 

His power was screaming inside his head and it hurt.

 

It hurt.

 

It hurt.

 

 _What you did is forbidden._

 

_Bear the consequences._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Hinata woke up with a loud gasp, coughing and choking. Kageyama heard him run out of the room.

 

He did not move to follow him. He didn’t need to.

 

He knew Suga would do it.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was staring at Tsukishima who had the most confused face all day long. He approached him and asked,

 

“Tsukishima,” Kageyama began quietly. “You’re acting weird.”

 

He said the same exact line he said yesterday.

 

_Please, notice, you smug bastard. Notice that I know._

 

Tsukishima’s eyes slightly widened. “You don’t say,” he drawled and then looked away.

 

Kageyama clenched his fists.

 

_Damn, Tsukishima._

 

“Don’t you think this day is weird?” He asked but already felt pain on his wrist, on his lines. He couldn’t say more.

 

Tsukishima turned back sharply, his glasses almost falling off his face. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he shook his head as if he thought all of this was a big joke and looked away again.

 

Kageyama wasn’t amused.

 

_Oh, fucking hell._

 

Kageyama looked away, too and saw Hinata. He tried to ignore the pain in his heart while he walked towards him. “Hey!”

 

Hinata looked up to Kageyama. His blue eyes bore into his.

 

“Are you okay?” Kageyama asked.

 

_Notice that I know. Hinata, please, notice that I know._

 

Hinata looked away for a moment towards the bench and then back. He clenched his fists and then lowered his head and whispered,

 

“I don’t want to play today.”

 

Every ball that someone had held now ended up being on the ground. Kageyama couldn’t even say anything.

 

_What?_

 

“Why?” Kageyama heard Tanaka. He turned around to look at him. Tanaka, who was always gold and black. It depended on his mood.

 

_His lines were golden now._

 

It reminded Kageyama to his mom.

 

Hinata turned around and sprinted out of the gym. Not looking back, not slowing down. Kageyama was too petrified to move. Because time loops should help.

 

_Then why didn’t Hinata want to play?_

 

He didn’t notice that Tsukishima was staring at him.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama ignored the others when they asked whether they had a fight or not. He just wanted to forget. He just wanted them to notice.

 

He just wanted to move on.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama was staring at how the whole team gave hugs to Hinata and felt his own heart ease a bit because of the sight.

 

_He has a little happiness._

 

Hinata deserved it. He also deserved so much more.

 

Kageyama wanted to help. So he said,

 

“I’ll walk you home.”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He had no idea how to make Hinata notice he knows. He had no idea how to begin so he said the first that popped into his mind.

 

“I’m sorry if I push you too hard sometimes.”

 

_Well that wasn’t a lie._

 

Hinata’s eyes went wide and he slowed down. Kageyama did the same thing, matching his steps with Hinata.

 

“I – uh,” _This is way too hard_. Wrinkles appeared on his forehead. “Sometimes forget you can get tired too,” Kageyama mumbled, shaking his head lightly. _How can I make him notice?_ “I know, it’s silly. But you do some incredible things and I kinda... forget that you are the same as me. I’m sorry.”

 

Kageyama repeated Hinata’s same sentence. That should do the trick.

 

Except that Hinata fell silent.

 

Kageyama stopped as well and turned back to look at him.

 

“What?” He tilted his head, his hair followed the movement.

 

_Please say you figured it out._

 

“Kageyama,” Hinata whispered, coming closer to him and Kageyama didn’t move. He stood his ground with all of his height, staring down at Hinata. He was too afraid to do anything. Having Hinata not shout at him – having him close and just quiet.

 

_It felt like how they were before anything happened._

 

And then Hinata spoke, just as carefully, gently.

 

“I’m going to die.”

 

Kageyama did not know why he only realized now.

 

He did not know why he only thought about this now. It felt like hundreds of sharp blades, stabbing him, bleeding him out.

 

_Because what if he really dies._

 

“What?” Kageyama’s voice was low. As if he heard it wrong, as if he never wanted to hear it again.

 

_What if I can’t help you? What if Tsukishima won’t realize?_

 

_What if I can’t save you?_

 

Hinata had a weak smile on his face when he repeated, “I’m going to die.”

 

Kageyama dropped his bag and sharply inhaled the cold air.

 

_What if you really die?_

 

He ran a hand through his dark hair with widened eyes and his hands were shaking.

 

_Will I be left alone?_

 

Kageyama turned around, started walking a little, then turned back and walked back to Hinata.

 

_Who will make my days? Who will stand proudly next to me?_

 

He covered his mouth and asked quietly – because his reaction won’t make sense in any other context or way–

 

“How long?”

 

Hinata took a deep breath and lied, “A couple of months.”

 

_Of course. You wouldn’t tell me today, Hinata._

 

_Of course I can’t help you now._

 

_Of course_

 

_you_

 

_might_

 

_die_

 

_by_

 

_the_

 

_end._

 

Kageyama started walking to him and hugged him around his waist because–

 

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry–_

 

“I don’t want you to die – you can’t die,” Kageyama begged, _the pain_ through his words made him wince. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

 

_I can’t be all alone again._

 

Hinataslowly put his arms around Kageyama’s neck.

 

_I can’t be all alone again._

 

“I don’t want you to leave me alone,” Kageyama broke down. “What am I going to do without you?” _How can I live with myself if you die?_

 

Kageyamanuzzled his nose into Hinata’s ginger locks. “You can’t _go, you can’t go, you can’t go._ You promised we’d make it to nationals!” Kageyama cried. “You promised and that’s why I’ve been so determined to win every single damn match–”

 

_Please don’t die._

 

“–you are the only one who can spike my tosses,” Kageyama started hyperventilating, “you and only you – I’m just...”

 

_Please don’t die._

 

Kageyama whimpered and Hinata’s whole being was shaking now. “You can’t go, _Shouyou_.” “Stay with me, _please don’t go_ –”

 

_Please forgive me._

 

“ _I_ _can’t_ ,” Hinata lamented. “Don’t you think I would stay if I could?” His voice wavered.

 

_Please forgive me._

“I am so afraid, you have no idea. I wake up, very well knowing the fact that I’m going to die very soon, and I can’t do anything about it and then I see you and I think what could happen if I’d have more time.”

 

Kageyama gave out a loud sob, the pain in his chest begged to choke him and bring him down on his knees, he hid in Hinata’s soft locks and tried to forget what he had done.

 

_Please forgive me._

 

“I’m constantly thinking, what would happen if I had more days to live?” Hinata hugged him tighter and whispered, “What would happen if my days weren’t the same.”

 

_Hinata._

 

_I wish I had been the one that car crashed into._

 

_I wish you were still whole._

 

And Kageyama’s shoulder began to shake with an endless pain, it was as if he was really dying.

 

Kageyama moved his hands without thinking and wiped Hinata’s tears with the sleeves of his hoodie.

 

Hinata didn’t stop crying and neither did he.

 

_Maybe I am._

 

“What if you grow up without me?” Hinata spoke, crying, making Kageyama wipe his own tears with trembling mouth. “What if you make new friends? What if you go to university because why not,” he couldn’t stop, “or move abroad because you want to see the world – you’ve always told me that you wanted to. Or try cooking because you want your own meat bun?” His voice cracked now, “or buy a cat because you wanted to learn how to calm down animals when you want to pet them and Kageyama I will _never know. I will never know–_ ”

 

_He would never know._

 

Kageyama felt an emptiness. So suddenly, it felt like he never noticed it was there. Maybe Hinata had been vanishing this feeling, and only now Kageyama felt that it was there.

 

_What will happen to me, if you die?_

 

“I don’t think I want you to do this things without me,” Hinata whispered.

 

Something warm poured into his heart, and it helped it beat with gentle care.

 

_What is this?_

 

Kageyama’s eyes narrowed and he just only stared for a while. Hinata’s eyes were still hopeful and filled with light.

 

_I can see them getting old._

 

His eyes.

 

_God, what have I done to you?_

 

Kageyama moved and bent down to press his forehead to his. Kageyama’s nose briefly brushed his.

 

_Can I get forgiveness in the end?_

 

“I think I don’t want to do this things without you either,” he closed his eyes.

 

_Please don’t walk out of my life._

 

“What’s going to happen to you when I die?” Hinata asked quietly.

 

Kageyama opened his eyes – his eyelashes caressed Hinata’s skin. He remembered how Hinata lifted his soul up whenever he was down, whenever everything felt too heavy and too complicated for him to bear. He remembered how he stood up to him.

 

Hinata gave him one of the best days in his life.

 

_Would I be able to live without you?_

 

They stared into each other’s eyes and then Kageyama said,

 

“I think my whole world dies along with you.”

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

The moment he wake up he noticed his lines glowing orange for a second and then changing back to white.

 

Kageyama gently caressed his soul and thought, feeling the warmth inside of his heart bloom,

 

_When did I fall in love with you, Hinata?_

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama had no idea.

 

He had no idea when it happened or how it happened but he knew he never felt something this right in all of his life.

 

_Falling in love with a red just like your mom, huh, Tobio?_

 

He heard Mitsuko’s gentle and teasing voice. He felt a sharp pain in his chest but buried it. He wondered if anybody else noticed, but he doubted it.

 

_I know how to hide._

 

He knew how to act.

 

Kageyama sighed and closed his eyes, looking down at the volleyball he was holding in his hands.

 

_Would he love you back, knowing what you’ve done?_

 

Kageyama’s blood ran cold.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

After the bus took them home, Hinata and Kageyama stayed for practice in the school’s gym. After they were done, they began to pick up the volleyballs.

Kageyama tried not to look at Hinata so much, he tried to focus on the task which they were given.

 

Then someone turned off the lights and Kageyama just started to think about Hinata again.

 

_Focus, Tobio, focus._

 

Kageyama put the ball on the shelf and then said, “We’re done, let’s go.”

 

But before he could’ve leave, Hinata stepped closer to him, instead of moving away. “Wait,” Hinata said quietly.

 

Kageyama stopped and stared at him, the grey was dancing around his wrist like stars close to his ginger hair, like the dawn. His heart was beating, fluttering like gentle wings on a dove.

 

_When did I fall in love with you, Hinata?_

 

“What?” Kageyama, for some reason, asked back with the same tone Hinata had used.

 

And then Hinata moved, hesitantly, gently.

 

He very slowly reached out to hold Kageyama’s right hand and then turned it, so that his palm was facing up. His grey lines were dancing around them, twirling like a tornado, glowing above Hinata.

 

He put his other hand on Kageyama’s forearm and then began to stroke it with his fingertips, his hand caught some of his white lines and Kageyama

 

forgot

 

to

 

exist.

 

Hinata’s touch felt light and gentle, a feather of a bird, a wind under the night sky, a long forgotten song about life.

 

_He’s caressing my soul._

 

Hinata gave out that elegant, unique smile and then took a deep breath.

 

“Thank you,” Hinata muttered and then gently let go of Kageyama’s hand. He turned to walk out of the gym–

 

Kageyama

 

pulled

 

him

 

back.

 

He stared into his eyes, just feeling the warmth spread out inside of his soul.

 

“What are you doing?” Kageyama whispered softly.

 

_When did I fall in love with you, Hinata?_

 

He blinked slowly, staring at Kageyama. They did not move, time stood still.

 

It felt as only the two of them were alive on earth when Hinata said,

 

“I’m not sure, I can’t be sure of anything.”

 

Kageyama froze.

 

_Would he love you back, knowing what you’ve done?_

 

Kageyama slowly pulled Hinata closer and raised the ginger’s hand up. Then, with the same hands Hinata had caressed, the same hands that could break anyone in half without even trying, Kageyama closed his eyes and then pressed a little kiss into the palm of Hinata’s hand.

 

The place where his grey lines glowed the brightest.

 

As a way of saying goodbye to his red soul.

 

As a way of showing his adoration.

 

As a way of begging for forgiveness.

 

“What are you doing?” Hinata whispered, repeating the words.

 

_Would he love you back, knowing what you’ve done?_

 

Kageyama still holding his hands there, opened his eyes and answered,

 

“I’m not sure,” Hinata’s eyes widened, hearing his own words. “I can’t be sure of anything.”

 

_I’m sorry._

 

_I’m sorry for so many things._

 

_I’m sorry for what I’ve done._

 

Kageyama still holding his hands there, opened his eyes and answered,

 

_I’m sorry for what I about to do right now._

 

“I’m not sure,” Hinata’s eyes widened, hearing his own words from Kageyama. “I can’t be sure of anything.”

 

_I’m sorry I did not realize that I love you sooner._

 

They were only staring at each other before Kageyama kissed his palm again and then he said, feeling absolutely weightless,

 

“The only thing I’m sure of is that I have never felt this right with another person.”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama tried not to hate himself when he wake up again and heard Hinata cry.

 

He tried not to think of himself as a monster.

 

He tried.

 

He really did.

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

“I think I figured it out,” Tsukishima told Kageyama quietly while sitting on the bench. Kageyama wasn’t amused, he just turned to look at the blond boy.

 

“Figured it out what exactly?” Kageyama asked, remembering all the time he tried to make Tsukishima realize but everything seemed to be worthless.

 

Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “I know that I was way too dense but can you blame me, king? Reliving the same day over and over again, while no one notices something’s off other than you and Hinata, gimme a break–”

 

Kageyama leaned close to Tsukishima and said with a deep voice, quietly, “You need to help him.”

 

Tsukishima’s eyes widened as he looked back at Kageyama. “What? Who? Hinata? Why?”

 

Kageyama narrowed his eyes and tried to explain but felt pain struck his wrists. He stopped and growled.

 

_Fuck._

 

“Just do it,” Kageyama sighed, irritated. He glanced at Tsukishima and added, “please.”

 

Tsukishima was staring at him for a long time before he nodded. Before Kageyama could’ve turned around, he heard Tsukishima ask,

 

“How do you know about this?”

 

Kageyama looked back at him above his shoulder and remembered all the lives he had ended.

 

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Hinata only stared, standing in front of the car, waiting to leave.

 

“Dumbass,” Kageyama spoke, shaking him out of his thoughts. “Why are you staring?”

 

_Why do you want to make this worse?_

 

Kageyama tried not to break.

 

_Why is this too hard? Why can’t this be easy?_

 

_Why don’t I stop?_

 

And Hinata smiled, gently, slowly and Kageyama suddenly understood why was it so hard to stop.

 

“Would it be crazy If I said, that I’d always search for you in a crowd full of strangers?” He whispered, standing close to Kageyama.

 

Kageyama’s lips parted and he furrowed his brows in a confused way. He felt a blush rose his cheek.

 

_Hinata said hewould notice me in all of those colors in a crowd._

 

He’d notice someone as pale as Kageyama, a white, in a colorful crowd.

 

And Kageyama wanted to kiss him right then and there.

 

But before Kageyama could’ve said anything, Hinata touched Kageyama’s hand and began to stroke it with his thumb. His white lines.

 

His heart skipped a beat.

 

But then something happened.

 

Hinata’s smile vanished, he shut down his eyes and slightly turned away from Kageyama.

 

_Look at me._

 

_Forgive me._

 

The taller boy bent down to rest his cheek against Hinata’s and whispered close to his ears, “Would it be crazy if I said, that you met me at a very strange time in my life?”

 

_You’re important to me._

 

_You’re one of the most important thing in my life._

 

Hinata couldn’t move. “What–”

 

_You showed me what it means to be brave._

 

“Would it be crazy If I said, that the moment we met the second time, I felt like I could finally restart my whole life?”

 

_You have no idea how much you’ve done for me._

 

Hinata pulled himself away to look at him, confused–

 

Kageyama raised Hinata’s hand which he had been holding and placed a kiss by the joint between Hinata’s thumb and pointing finger as he looked into his eyes.

 

Hinata’s

 

whole

 

face

 

reddened.

 

_I love you._

 

_I want to help you._

 

_Notice that I know._

 

“Be careful on your way back home,” Kageyama said, still holding his lips on his hand. “I hope you won’t be all shy tomorrow,” Kageyama smirked. “This conversation is far from over.”

 

_Please notice._

 

Hinata smiled again while Kageyama let go of his hands. “You think I’ll get shy?” He raised an eyebrow. “Who started the whole conversation in the first place, Kageyama?”

 

It felt like old times.

 

Kageyama decided to let out his real self for a little, decided to free himself just a bit, and show Hinata who he really was. Even if for a moment.

 

“Oh?” He lifted his eyebrow. “Is this a competition? The real question is who’s going to finish the conversation and how,” he said, his eyes fell down to his lips–

 

Hinata blushed and then turned around to walk towards the car.

 

And Kageyama, for a minute there, forgot what he had done and began to laugh.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Hinata woke up, gasping, jumping up out of his bed–

 

And Kageyama felt

 

it.

 

_Something felt wrong._

 

He felt this dread, the cold suffocating him.

 

_Something bad happened to Hinata’s time loop._

 

Kageyama couldn’t wake up, his power didn’t let him, but his eyes met Tsukishima’s before he hurried out to follow Hinata.

 

He had never felt so useless before.

 

So

 

nothing.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama did not move until he heard Iwaizumi’s time loop activate, to make him disappear.

 

_So they met. Iwaizumi and Hinata met. Finally someone really helps him, can help him, besides Tsukishima._

 

But did that mean–

 

_Iwaizumi was still trying to save Oikawa._

 

Kageyama sighed and looked down on his lines. Just how many secrets, how many burden can he carry before he collapses?

 

_How long can I keep going like this?_

 

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

This was Hinata’s last day.

 

Kageyama noticed the braid loosen and almost falling apart. After this day, Hinata will finally get out of the time loop.

 

But even then, Kageyama could feel that he couldn’t tell anything. He couldn’t, even after all of this end.

 

 _I wonder if he ever forgive me_.

 

Kageyama bit his bottom lip.

 

_I wonder if he ever finds out._

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

Kageyama walked this street so many times with Hinata he couldn’t even count. He was terrified what Hinata had planned, but he would go with it, if that meant this would be all over.

 

Kageyama was scared to look at him.

 

_I hurt you._

 

Hinata who deserved so much more. So much more than Kageyama.

 

Yet, Kageyama was too selfish to stop.

 

_Would he love you back, knowing what you’ve done?_

 

And then Hinata spoke, breaking the world,

 

“I don’t want to be the one who will watch you, when you’re getting your first golden medal at the nationals.”

 

Kageyama whirled around, he blinked, eyes wide. “What–”

 

Hinata stopped in the middle of the road.

 

“I don’t want to see how your most important person rushes in there and kisses you.”

 

This might have been the first time Hinata didn’t confess his feelings with touching. This might have been the first time Hinata confessed his feeling using words.

 

Hinata looked up with a quiet smile on his face. Kageyama was staring at him.

 

_What are you searching for?_

 

He remembered Akira’s tattoo.

 

_I keep looking for something._

 

Maybe Hinata did too.

 

Every person tried to search their own little miracle. But Hinata, telling him this–

 

Hinata who thought Kageyama would ever have someone who was more important than him.

 

“There’s no way I’d find someone who is more important to me than you.”

 

Hinata didn’t look back. “You never know,” he whispered, still smiling. “You can’t be sure of anything.”

 

_Notice that I know._

 

_I beg you._

 

“I know,” Kageyama said, voice as clearly and loudly as his. He began to walk towards Hinata, hearing his loud heart beat like a wild fire. “Because you show up in every single moment like you were meant to be there and there’s no way another person like that exists.”

 

_I’m sorry._

 

Kageyama cupped Hinata’s cheek, his fingertips touched the little curls behind his ear. His blue eyes met brown, almost golden ones.

 

_I’m sorry I can’t be selfless._

 

Hinata leaned into Kageyama’s hand, covering it with his own. “What does this mean?” Hinata whispered.

 

_I’m sorry I can’t leave you alone._

 

Kageyama leaned closer. “I would see you in everything,” he pressed his forehead against Hinata’s.

 

_I’m sorry for what I’ve done._

 

“Then try not to think about me,” Hinata answered, showing the smile only Kageyama could make it invisible.

 

_I’m sorry I couldn’t learn to love you sooner._

 

Kageyama’s nose brushed his and the taller boy tapped his own temple. “As if I could ever make you leave from here,” he smiled. Kageyama smiled and was fighting back his tears.

 

“I think you’re the first friend I’d made – a partner.” Hinata said.

 

_Can I get forgiveness in the end?_

 

“I think I’d always search for you in a crowd full of strangers,” Hinata continued softly.

 

Kageyama was staring at him with half closed eyes and leaned closer.

 

_Please notice that I know. I will say the same things, please notice that I know._

 

“I think you met me at a very strange time in my life.”

 

And Kageyama kissed him.

 

_When did I fall in love with you, Hinata?_

 

Kageyama’s hands were in his hair, close to his nape, caressing, holding him and then Hinata wrapped his arms tightly around Kageyama’s neck and then he moved his hands touch Hinata’s waist, hugging him with all his might. It was warm and full of life and–

 

_Oh._

 

_This feels the the rightest thing in the world._

 

Hinata broke the kiss, saying, “I like you,” Kageyama felt dizzy, his eyes slowly focusing but he was still holding Hinata so close, and he smiled because–

 

_I love you._

 

“Actually.” Hinata muttered, reaching out with one hand to lay his palm against Kageyama’s cheek. “I love you.”

 

Kageyama

 

knees

 

almost

 

gave

 

up.

 

Hinata stood on his tiptoes and pressed a kiss on Kageyama’s cheek, almost losing his balance–

 

Kageyama caught him by his waist and gently bent down to give Hinata little kisses – on his jaw, on his cheek, temple and hair and–

 

“I think I’ve loved you since the moment you said, _I’m here_ ,” Kageyama answered because yes,

 

he

 

did.

 

Kageyama only saw a light and heard a loud noise. The noise of tires, slipping on the road. Hinata quickly let go of him, eyes widened with fear, Kageyama pulled Hinata away from the car just in time and fell to the ground with him, he quickly protected Hinata’s head from the ground and began to inhale in and out, sharp and slow yet fast breaths.

 

_Calm down, calm down, calm down–_

 

The car was long gone and Kageyama realized.

 

_The time loop was over._

 

And for once in his life, Kageyama realized that he was the factor to break it.

 

Not Hinata.

 

Him.

 

He began to cry as he dialed the emergencies. He choked and tried hold back his pain but it felt bigger than him, he felt weak–

 

_Because what if I would have just followed him one day and had pulled him away just in time before that car hit him?_

 

_He wouldn’t have died so many times._

 

Kageyama was shaking as he screamed, holding the unconscious Hinata in his arms. Why didn’t he do something? Why didn’t he realize that he was the factor to get out of it, and not Hinata?

 

_Maybe you knew._

 

He heard Mitsuko’s voice.

 

Maybe he knew.

 

But then why? Why didn’t he do it sooner?

 

_Because you didn’t want to see him die again._

 

_Because you’re still afraid._

 

_Because despite what Mitsuko had said, you still_

 

_can’t_

 

_walk_

 

_this_

 

_world_

 

_alone_

 

_without_

 

_fear._

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

While Hinata hugged him, crying, smiling and laughing in the hospital, Kageyama couldn’t feel cold all over his body and soul.

 

_Can I get forgiveness in the end?_

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

“He still doesn’t want to tell you,” Tsukishima said while holding a beer in his hand. “He thinks you’d think of him as less.”

 

Kageyama narrowed his eyes and tried to over shout the music, tried to push away the people when they bumped into him at the party.“He’s an idiot.”

 

Tsukishima chuckled. “That’s what I told him,” he said, hesitantly looking around and then leaning closer. “This won’t end well,” he sighed. “For neither of you.”

 

Kageyama took a sharp breath and turned away from Tsukishima. He was not ready to think about what would happen if Hinata–

 

He saw him.

 

He hugged Hinata around his waist. “Hi, Shou,” Kageyama said, pressing a kiss into Hinata’s hair.

 

Hinata relaxed and covered his hands on Kageyama’s. “Hi,” he leaned into Kageyama’s chest. “Where were you?”

 

Kageyama rested his chin on the top of Hinata’s head and lied.

 

It felt

 

wrong.

 

"I was with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, playing darts,” Kageyama hummed. “Tsukishima is much nicer to me lately. Do you have any idea why?”

 

_Hinata, tell me why. Please talk to me. Notice what I’m doing._

 

“Not a clue,” Hinata said. “Maybe he realized that both of you would be great at being friends.”

 

Kageyama shut his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line. He then opened them just to notice Tsukishima staring at him with a grave expression from the other side of the room.

 

“ _Come here,_ ” Kageyama saw Tsukishima gesturing and mouthing the words.

 

“I’m going to grab something to eat,” Kageyama said, letting go of Hinata. “Want something?”

 

Kageyama stepped next to him, looking at him, waiting patiently. Hinata gave out his elegant smile.

 

It did things to Kageyama’s heart.

 

“No, thanks,” he said.

 

Kageyama stared. He stared and stared.

 

The more he did,

 

The more pain

 

he

 

felt

 

trying

 

to

 

destroy

 

him

 

from

 

bone

 

to

 

bone.

 

He leaned closer and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I love you,” he said, trying not to think about what he had done–

 

_I want to forget, I want to forget, I want to forget, I want to forget, I want to forget, I want to forget, I want to forget, I want to forget, I want to forget–_

 

And Hinata gave out a chuckle.

 

“I love you too.” Hinata echoed and Kageyama smiled once more, hiding his sorrow. He walked away and reached Tsukishima who pulled him into the bathroom and

 

Kageyama

 

collapsed

and

 

began

 

to

 

scream.

 

_You monster._

 

He felt Tsukishima kneeling down and hug him.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Kageyama had to run and he had no idea where else to go. The words Hinata screamed at his head still rang in his mind, still ripped him apart–

 

_You monster._

 

“Iwaizumi,” Kageyama said, standing next to his bed.

 

_Help me._

 

Iwaizumi looked at Kageyama. Really looked.

 

_I’m alone. Completely alone._

 

Kageyama froze when Iwaizumi reached out and intertwined their fingers. As if Iwaizumi knew what to do. There was such a deep understanding in that touch.

 

_Someone who understood what it meant to have such a burden._

 

Iwaizumi spoke quietly, close to midnight as the clock sang, and asked,

 

“What have you done?”

 

_You monster._

 

And Kageyama couldn't look away. Maybe he was really dying, he felt like he was, his tears were dry on his cheek, he could still remember what Hinata screamed, he

 

felt

 

it

 

was

 

the

 

end.

 

“Something horrible.”

 

 

 

 

 

**End of Part III**

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: I
> 
> can't
> 
> wait
> 
> to
> 
> write
> 
> Ushijima's part.
> 
> It will be called "This Version of Me."
> 
> love all of you and can't wait for the party scene in part 5!!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it :33333


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